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Old 03-13-2013, 10:51 PM   #11
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Re: How does the formula bashing affect you?

At first, the formula bashing really hurt my feelings, back when my son was having so much troubles latching and I was EPing for him (for 10 weeks)....I felt so much guilt because I knew I couldn't keep up with his food needs for much longer by pumping, and it was just not a sustainable situation.

But then, after I gave up the pumping and switched him over to formula, I discovered that he needed lactose-free formula. All the barfing went away and my son grew quickly and we were able to have fun together. Like outside in the sunshine without the Medela.LOL. We had the greatest summer of fun and for that I am so truly grateful to the chemists at Abbott. To be honest, I feel like pumping as long as I did caused my son to miss out on other experiences and strained our bond. Maybe I should have given up sooner, but I'm not going to beat myself up for that either.

Yes, breastmilk is great and it's a living fluid that can't be easily replicated. Yes, nursing is a wonderful bonding experience. But I just let it go. I just set a deadline, and after that, I gave up and let it go.

In nature, among wild non-human primates, many mothers lose their first-born infants due to problems with latching. Thankfully, we have formula!! Isn't it great that parents have options other than letting their infants starve, eh?

It is hard to not feel guilty when people around you are making you feel judged, though. And I had a lot of guilt that I put on myself, too, because I really was set against formula at the beginning and didn't even want it in my home. But now I am so grateful for it.

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Old 03-15-2013, 05:20 PM   #12
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Re: How does the formula bashing affect you?

Yes, formula bashing really sucks for foster mamas. Makes me feel like crap & sad. I'm happy that we have a way to feed our foster babies & I would nurse them if I could, but that's not the case.
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Old 03-17-2013, 10:13 AM   #13
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Re: How does the formula bashing affect you?

I usually get snide and then tell a person that my kids are adopted and I breast fed #2. They get all confused and ruffled and either ask me how that is possible, apologize, or just leave. If they are still around I may talk about tube feeding because like luvsviola I have a tube fed kid, she would rather starve than eat.
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Old 03-19-2013, 12:28 PM   #14
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I've never dealt with it in public thankfully. Although my son is clearly adopted, so that probably helps. I would probably get uber snarky in my head, but not even know what to say in response out loud.
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Old 03-19-2013, 01:56 PM   #15
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Re: How does the formula bashing affect you?

We were foster/adopt certified (we didn't renew this year b/c there are almost no children in placement in our county), never had babies placed with us, but were ready if we did. By comparison, DP also carried an BFed DD for a while; we had to supplement pretty quickly & switched over to 100% FF by 6 mos. I never, ever god snide comments of dirty looks FFing DD anywhere. It's probably a pretty even split here between BF & FF, though there's a lot of poverty & teen pregnancy, & WIC here doesn't spend a ton of time encouraging BFing.

Here though? It didn't make me feel bad, per se, just angry at the narrow worldview & broad judgments. I mostly just let it roll off, b/c people who don't want to know about me, my situation or why FFing works for us are not people I want to know & I certainly won't take their judgments to heart.

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Old 04-03-2013, 08:59 PM   #16
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Ugh. I had to return to this thread after a Facebook conversation got under my skin. The gist was that babies wouldn't die if formula weren't an option. Really? REALLY?? Ugh.

I explained why my son needs it, that kids in foster care need it, and many adoptive mothers (even those who would love to use donor milk) need it. The response was that I was being standoffish.

Insensitivity drives me bonkers.
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