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Old 03-15-2013, 06:26 PM   #1
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How do you make it all work?

I've always WOH, I teach full time, but lately I'm struggling to juggle everything. My dh works 60+ hours a week, he used to work just 40, so I think a lot of it is adjusting to him not helping me as much. I am the one who has to take the kids everywhere do dinners and homework. Next year both of my kids will be in school and I'm just not sure how I'm going to manage. I feel like my house is a mess, my laundry is piling up, and I'm exhausted. So what are your tricks for making it all work? Short of hiring a maid and switching to paper plates I'm not sure what to do to improve things. I just can't wait until summer break.

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Old 03-16-2013, 08:09 AM   #2
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Do triage and let the rest go. Clean piecemeal. Bathroom today, kitchen tomorrow. Meal planning ahead so you always know what you're making. Cook with as few dishes as possible. If DH makes pancakes, the last person served eats off the plate he was using to hold them all, using the fork he was using to help flip them. Spend 5-10 minutes after the kids are in bed picking up some area that needs it, it'll make a huge difference
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Old 03-17-2013, 08:29 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by mibarra
Do triage and let the rest go. Clean piecemeal. Bathroom today, kitchen tomorrow. Meal planning ahead so you always know what you're making. Cook with as few dishes as possible. If DH makes pancakes, the last person served eats off the plate he was using to hold them all, using the fork he was using to help flip them. Spend 5-10 minutes after the kids are in bed picking up some area that needs it, it'll make a huge difference
Agree

I thought I was the only one who refers to it as triage.

Condense trips to the store. Focus on what HAS to be done as well as spend time with your kids. My kids help me fold and put away laundry, esp theirs (they are 2 and 4)
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Old 03-17-2013, 08:39 PM   #4
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Also, there's no shame in hiring a cleaning lady a couple times a month if you can swing it. For us, totally worth canceling cable so that I know my sheets are guaranteed to be washed and bathrooms are guaranteed to be scrubbed regularly whether I get to it or not. Allows me to spend my limited time with my kids. Or just functioning.

Kids can do a lot and they love to help. It takes more time sometimes but that's okay.
Prioritize, division of labor, let the rest slide. Accept help. You are not perfect. No one is, regardless of their Facebook status.
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Old 03-17-2013, 09:01 PM   #5
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Re: How do you make it all work?

I spend one Saturday a month making a bunch of freezable crock pot meals. That way I don't even HAVE to think about dinner most nights. Also, I'm a clean freak but until the weekend, my house is a mess and I really don't care. :-) The kids are the priority so the house can wait.
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Old 03-17-2013, 10:37 PM   #6
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Re: How do you make it all work?

Quote:
Originally Posted by pinktoes View Post
Also, there's no shame in hiring a cleaning lady a couple times a month if you can swing it. For us, totally worth canceling cable so that I know my sheets are guaranteed to be washed and bathrooms are guaranteed to be scrubbed regularly whether I get to it or not. Allows me to spend my limited time with my kids. Or just functioning.

Kids can do a lot and they love to help. It takes more time sometimes but that's okay.
Prioritize, division of labor, let the rest slide. Accept help. You are not perfect. No one is, regardless of their Facebook status.

I so want to hire a cleaning lady but dh won't go for it I was asking for only once a month for 2 hours so what? 40.00 a month? I'm going to tell him though that I want the money hed spend on Mother's Day, my birthday and christmas to go toward that.
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Old 03-17-2013, 10:37 PM   #7
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Re: How do you make it all work?

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Originally Posted by paaterzone View Post
I spend one Saturday a month making a bunch of freezable crock pot meals. That way I don't even HAVE to think about dinner most nights. Also, I'm a clean freak but until the weekend, my house is a mess and I really don't care. :-) The kids are the priority so the house can wait.
I need to do this.
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Old 03-17-2013, 11:08 PM   #8
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Re: How do you make it all work?

For us, instead of a cleaning lady, we hire babysitting-age girls for house helpers. I am there cleaning too, and so every job gets done twice as fast. I enjoy the company and the kids enjoy the company too. The kids are usually hanging around also, helping as appropriate. It's like a little cleaning party, and cheaper than hiring an independent housekeeper.

We try to do the general tips too, like clean-as-you-go.

I have a job with an office and at noon I lock the door and nap if I don't have errands. Sometimes I fold laundry at my office at noon.
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Old 03-17-2013, 11:26 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by amyltc

I so want to hire a cleaning lady but dh won't go for it I was asking for only once a month for 2 hours so what? 40.00 a month? I'm going to tell him though that I want the money hed spend on Mother's Day, my birthday and christmas to go toward that.
If he won't agree then he can clean the house and keep the money.

Sorry but if he isn't doing the work then he has no right to demand you not get help elsewhere.
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Old 03-17-2013, 11:51 PM   #10
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Re: How do you make it all work?



hang in there I don't have good advice, as I was recently feeling like this (and as soon as I mentioned it to friends, I soon was reminded that I'm not alone in that)

personally, I was thinking about getting someone to clean every so often... there are just so few hours in the day (especially at home) and the kids grow up so fast... I'll have plenty of time to clean when they go to college and I miss them like crazy. We do chores as a family and I want to continue that, but I'd be fine if there were just fewer. We have long commutes and I like freshly cooked (have to thank DH for that almost always) and prepped foods from our CSAs (not to say we, too, don't have frozen readymade to go for days we're late home) , so that would be my compromise. I think the compromise depends on the person, family and situation-- one size solution fits as well as one size diapers . I wish I could do it all.
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