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Old 03-17-2013, 11:54 PM   #11
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Re: How do you make it all work?

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Also, there's no shame in hiring a cleaning lady a couple times a month if you can swing it. For us, totally worth canceling cable so that I know my sheets are guaranteed to be washed and bathrooms are guaranteed to be scrubbed regularly whether I get to it or not. Allows me to spend my limited time with my kids. Or just functioning.

Kids can do a lot and they love to help. It takes more time sometimes but that's okay.
Prioritize, division of labor, let the rest slide. Accept help. You are not perfect. No one is, regardless of their Facebook status.


love this.

(I didn't even need to respond. lol. just this)

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Old 03-18-2013, 07:19 AM   #12
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Re: How do you make it all work?

I hear you! DH works 40-50 hours a week, does grad school about 5 hours a week, and is in a leadership program at work that is about 5 hours a week. I work about 50 hours a week as well. Here's what has helped keep our sanity:

1. We have a cleaning lady come once a month usually, twice a month during the busiest time of year for me at work. THIS IS WORTH EVERY PENNY. It has saved us from so many fights. We also cancelled cable to put this in the budget; we have Netflix and Hulu and don't even miss it.
2. I do laundry for 15 minutes a night. I'll usually put a load in, then throw it in the dryer in the morning. Next night I fold. This helps keep the laundry monster under control.
3. We have a 20 minute "speed triage" each night. Once the LO is down, we spend 20 minutes cleaning and picking up as fast as we can, trying to get as much done as we can in 20 minutes. You would be surprised what two people can do in that short amount of time.
4. I pick up DS from school, DH comes straight home and cooks, and then I clean up after dinner while he gives DS a bath. It's definitely a divide and conquer approach at our house. This helps keep our evenings a little less insane.
5. Let it go. Your house is not going to be spotless. As long as it's sanitary and safe, I don't worry about it. If a room isn't sanitary and safe just shut the door .

Enjoy the time you have with your DH and your LOs. Time is precious, and I'd rather have a messy house and quality time myself. HTH!
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Old 03-20-2013, 07:22 PM   #13
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Re: How do you make it all work?

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I hear you! DH works 40-50 hours a week, does grad school about 5 hours a week, and is in a leadership program at work that is about 5 hours a week. I work about 50 hours a week as well. Here's what has helped keep our sanity:

1. We have a cleaning lady come once a month usually, twice a month during the busiest time of year for me at work. THIS IS WORTH EVERY PENNY. It has saved us from so many fights. We also cancelled cable to put this in the budget; we have Netflix and Hulu and don't even miss it.
2. I do laundry for 15 minutes a night. I'll usually put a load in, then throw it in the dryer in the morning. Next night I fold. This helps keep the laundry monster under control.
3. We have a 20 minute "speed triage" each night. Once the LO is down, we spend 20 minutes cleaning and picking up as fast as we can, trying to get as much done as we can in 20 minutes. You would be surprised what two people can do in that short amount of time.
4. I pick up DS from school, DH comes straight home and cooks, and then I clean up after dinner while he gives DS a bath. It's definitely a divide and conquer approach at our house. This helps keep our evenings a little less insane.
5. Let it go. Your house is not going to be spotless. As long as it's sanitary and safe, I don't worry about it. If a room isn't sanitary and safe just shut the door .

Enjoy the time you have with your DH and your LOs. Time is precious, and I'd rather have a messy house and quality time myself. HTH!
Your advice has been really helpful so ar this week I've gotten in a routine of 15 min of cleaning when I get home, make dinner, then 15 min of laundry, then another 15 min of cleaning after the kids are in bed and switching a load of laundry before I go to bed, my house is in way better condition than normal andi feel like I can get toother things, I don't have to feel guilty for not cleaning all night.
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Old 03-20-2013, 07:43 PM   #14
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Re: How do you make it all work?

I work a couple of jobs and so every week is different. Before I had our second baby in October , I spent some time prepping freezer meals. It was so amazing for the next couple months to just go to the freezer and pull something out. That I decided to do it again! Every couple months I plan ahead and make a bunch of freezer meals. Then each week I see what we have, plan a menu for the week and make a list of things to buy to complete the meals. I used to think I didn't have time to meal plan but boy it makes a huge difference for my week
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Old 03-21-2013, 07:12 AM   #15
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Re: How do you make it all work?

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Your advice has been really helpful so ar this week I've gotten in a routine of 15 min of cleaning when I get home, make dinner, then 15 min of laundry, then another 15 min of cleaning after the kids are in bed and switching a load of laundry before I go to bed, my house is in way better condition than normal andi feel like I can get toother things, I don't have to feel guilty for not cleaning all night.
Glad to hear! I was shocked at the difference it made when I started doing it, but now if I don't I can DEFINITELY tell.
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Old 03-21-2013, 07:54 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by amyltc

Your advice has been really helpful so ar this week I've gotten in a routine of 15 min of cleaning when I get home, make dinner, then 15 min of laundry, then another 15 min of cleaning after the kids are in bed and switching a load of laundry before I go to bed, my house is in way better condition than normal andi feel like I can get toother things, I don't have to feel guilty for not cleaning all night.
I like this idea. I think I'll try it. Thanks!
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Old 04-01-2013, 06:39 PM   #17
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Re: How do you make it all work?

I don't, I just do the best I can. How well that is varies from week to week depending if someone is sick, if I have a big project and if DH is working offsite and how far off site. I work a regular 4o HR week but have a commute, DH works 50-80 hrs/week depending on the week.
What works. Try to use crockpot, cleaning lady every 2 week, someone to cut the grass, focus on DD when we are together and try to get some cleaning done once she is in bed. I save laundry to the weekend since it is easier with our time of use hydro billing. The biggest thing is trying to let go that I won't have the picture perfect house and things Ned to be let go, so I try to make sure it's not things I particularly value.
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Old 04-02-2013, 01:59 PM   #18
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Re: How do you make it all work?

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I so want to hire a cleaning lady but dh won't go for it I was asking for only once a month for 2 hours so what? 40.00 a month? I'm going to tell him though that I want the money hed spend on Mother's Day, my birthday and christmas to go toward that.
My DH was very against hiring a cleaning lady, BUT I finally talked him into trying it. After she came for the first time, he was sold. Honestly it's the best money we've spent in a while. We have her come once a month (even though I'd LOVE to have her come every other week) and it's $85. Totally worth every penny!

Also, I like the idea of freezer meals. I haven't tried it yet, but I do meal plan on a weekly basis and that seems to help.
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Old 04-03-2013, 07:10 PM   #19
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Re: How do you make it all work?

he wont allow you to hire a little bit of help?

screw that. I would hire the help. either he comes home and chips in or you get some help in there. life is too short to burn out because of laundry and stuff....meanwhile your kids are getting very little of your time between you both working so much, in and out of the home. I would absolutely pay for some help.
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Old 04-03-2013, 07:34 PM   #20
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Re: How do you make it all work?

Glad to hear I am not alone in this feeling. I have no advice, but glad I read what everyone else gave as advice!
I work 40+ hours a week and DH is a dairy farmer so works 365 days a year minimum of 10 hours a day in the winter and probably 17 hour days spring, summer and fall. I feel like I barely have time to breathe and we only have one DD. I want another, but at this point can't imagine ever having another child because I feel like I am failing at everything because I have time for nothing.

I think I will be looking into hiring someone to come clean once a month and try the 15 min a night quick clean. Plus the freezer meals to top things off!
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