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Old 03-21-2013, 09:15 AM   #1
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Another sleeping vent

Husband and I co-slept with our daughter until she was about 18 months old. At 18 months, we put a toddler bed at the foot of our bed, and transitioned her to falling asleep there. She would crawl into our bed at about midnight.

[There are other issues related to her sleeping that drive me insane - like how she can't fall asleep unless one of us is in the room with her, that she wakes up about an hour after we put her down, and requires one of us to be in the room with her AGAIN, that she wakes up in the middle of the night and needs reassuring to go back to sleep, that she drinks water throughout the night which will make potty-training a nightmare when we get around to it, etc etc etc, but those are separate issues.]

My goal is to get her to stay asleep in her own bed, and then to move the bed out of our room. To this end, I put a lot of effort into encouraging her to stay in her own bed when she wakes up at 10, at 12, at 3, at 5...

My blasted husband, however. My blasted husband folds at the first bleat. He lets her crawl into bed (and then complains about her pushing him to the side!). I've talked to him about it, reminded him that this is a goal that he shares, that he wants our bed to ourselves as much as I do, I've invited him to go and sleep in the spare room because, after all, he's the one with the breadwinning job that he has to get up at sparrow's fart for. Every night he swears up and down that he's going to try, and every night he gives in.

I am going mad.


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Old 03-21-2013, 09:36 AM   #2
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Re: Another sleeping vent

I, too, am slowly being driven insane by sleep issues, though ours are mostly teeth-related as he's never co-slept. Our problem is that he slept from 7 weeks until around 10 months old, then all of a sudden woke up in the middle of the night one day, teething, and decided that This Won't Do. He screams bloody murder until someone picks him up and sits in the rocking chair, where he falls asleep. He may or may not be amenable to transfer back to his crib within the hour or three. He still has some reflux at 17 months so when he screams loudly and forcefully, he vomits and then chokes a bit. Thus, the second he screams, one must propel oneself out of bed with rocket-speed, in whatever state of dress or undress, and turn the hallway corner with the goal of little bruising.

I know it's teeth. He is really bad for a week or so and then a new tooth appears in the morning. Motrin helps on occasion, but we cannot drug him every night. I know there isn't a good solution to this as it's not behavior-related, but pain-related. I just want to whine with you, is that okay?

ETA - every night my husband I agree that we will wait a few seconds longer while he screams, to see if he will settle down. Yet, every night my husband is either nudging me within a millisecond of sound or flying out of the covers. He reneges on our agreement every night. So hard.
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Last edited by Hungry Caterpillar; 03-21-2013 at 09:37 AM.
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Old 03-21-2013, 09:39 AM   #3
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It was at 18 months that we wanted to kick Gigi out of our bed. We set up her converted crib in a sidecar fashion and talked to her about how exciting all of it was. The problem was, she did not share our excitement. No, no she did not. So we gently reminded her of the goal and often asked her to try. In other words, we backed the heck off. By 2, she was sttn in her daybed every night.

In retrospect, she just needed a little more time. If you're being hard on yourself try not to be. Sleep is tough.

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Old 03-22-2013, 10:04 AM   #4
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Re: Another sleeping vent

Thanks ladies. We had a chat about it, and he said he was a bit ambivalent about turfing her out - which was news to me, I suppose I'd been a bit... fervid about getting our bed back. And I am the SAH parent for the most part, so his time with her is more limited than mine.

So between his enjoying night time snuggles, and her unwillingness to sleep in her own bed all night, I'm going to try and be a bit more relaxed about it. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
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