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Old 04-04-2013, 12:47 AM   #11
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Re: gender disappointment?

remember you can't fail the hubs, it's his sperm that did it! LOL totally normal feeling.

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Old 04-04-2013, 03:58 AM   #12
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Re: gender disappointment?

Speaking as a mom of 4 boys I love to death I honestly can't say at this stage that I need a girl or was disappointed when any of them where born. Maybe I'm not normal here but I'd say that having a baby is no simple thing and that they come out healthy and well is an absolute miricle. Of course I'd love to have a girl who wouldn't but you have to be so careful not to let your disappointment move onto your child. I know a family where that happened and the child always felt unloved and that is the worst thing to do. I'm sure that once you hold your bundle in your arms for the first time that initial disappointment will go away and you'll be so happy that you have a healthy, gorgeous baby to love. Isn't that what counts?
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Old 04-04-2013, 06:47 AM   #13
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Re: gender disappointment?

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Originally Posted by mamasbaby View Post
Speaking as a mom of 4 boys I love to death I honestly can't say at this stage that I need a girl or was disappointed when any of them where born. Maybe I'm not normal here but I'd say that having a baby is no simple thing and that they come out healthy and well is an absolute miricle. Of course I'd love to have a girl who wouldn't but you have to be so careful not to let your disappointment move onto your child. I know a family where that happened and the child always felt unloved and that is the worst thing to do. I'm sure that once you hold your bundle in your arms for the first time that initial disappointment will go away and you'll be so happy that you have a healthy, gorgeous baby to love. Isn't that what counts?
I don't think anyone here is going to allow their child to feel unloved. I knoq personally I wouldn't have gotten pregnant again if I didn't know I would be happy with a baby of any gender. We're just all expressing that, yes, there is a certain amount of disappointment there. Trying to ignore reality is silly, so we're feeling the disappointment, acknowledging it and moving on.
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Old 04-04-2013, 08:45 AM   #14
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Re: gender disappointment?

When I found out that my fourth pregnancy was also a boy I was hysterical for days. I seriously could not stop crying. The pregnancy was so hard at that time I could not imagine ever doing it again and I wanted a girl SO BADLY. I cried for about three days until I thought I would have to be hospitalized for dehydration since I wasn't crying actual tears anymore. I know when I saw the ultrasound a part of me was so in love with my baby (even if he was a boy) but it was the thought that I would never ever get my girl that just killed me.
Decided to try one last time for my little Aria, but I think this time if I get a boy I know the world wont end. At this point I am not even sure I would know what to do with a girl lol!
Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and not to listen to all those *&^%$#& who say you should just be happy and blah blah blah. Of course we love our kids. It doesn't mean that you haven't lost something. Sometimes losing a dream is more difficult than losing a reality.
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Old 04-04-2013, 09:55 AM   #15
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Re: gender disappointment?

I was a bit disappointed when I found out the one I am carrying is a boy. I wanted another girl. However then I remembered that my DD was so precious (and I hate that word but I don't know of another word for her) that I am lucky that I had the time I had with her. There would only be one Emily and inevitably any girl that I had would be compared to her.

Now because my DD never made it home (lived 5 months in the hospital) I have a WHOLE heck of a lot of stuff for a little girl. I have told DH that I am not ready to part with it (DD died over 6 years ago) and there is a chance that we will go back for donor embryo or donor egg in the future (I have no eggs left due to chemo), so I may still get my little girl yet. God will have to tell me what to do next I guess. My mom is also keeping the outfit she had not given me for my DD. I told her to hang on to it and we never know what the future may bring.

I know that is probably more then what you are dealing with because I have actual stuff for a little girl, but for me it all plays into it.

Now I am looking forward to seeing what 2 boys will be like. God help me!
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Old 04-04-2013, 03:56 PM   #16
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Pregnant with girl #4. I am mourning the son I will never get to have (I'm older and we're 100% done).
I'm totally right there with you! Boy #3 older and 100 percent done!
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Old 04-04-2013, 04:14 PM   #17
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This is an entire forum dedicated to Gender Disappointment.

http://www.in-gender.com/cs/forums/6.aspx
Thank you!!! So very helpful. Fortunately w time and talking about it I'm beginning to truely accept it. I think I'll always be a little jealous of people who have girls but I'm beginning to feel ok.
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Old 04-04-2013, 04:16 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by mamasbaby View Post
Speaking as a mom of 4 boys I love to death I honestly can't say at this stage that I need a girl or was disappointed when any of them where born. Maybe I'm not normal here but I'd say that having a baby is no simple thing and that they come out healthy and well is an absolute miricle. Of course I'd love to have a girl who wouldn't but you have to be so careful not to let your disappointment move onto your child. I know a family where that happened and the child always felt unloved and that is the worst thing to do. I'm sure that once you hold your bundle in your arms for the first time that initial disappointment will go away and you'll be so happy that you have a healthy, gorgeous baby to love. Isn't that what counts?
Omg NO I totally love him already!!
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Old 04-04-2013, 04:28 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by mamasbaby View Post
Speaking as a mom of 4 boys I love to death I honestly can't say at this stage that I need a girl or was disappointed when any of them where born. Maybe I'm not normal here but I'd say that having a baby is no simple thing and that they come out healthy and well is an absolute miricle. Of course I'd love to have a girl who wouldn't but you have to be so careful not to let your disappointment move onto your child. I know a family where that happened and the child always felt unloved and that is the worst thing to do. I'm sure that once you hold your bundle in your arms for the first time that initial disappointment will go away and you'll be so happy that you have a healthy, gorgeous baby to love. Isn't that what counts?
Omg NO I totally love him already!!
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Old 04-05-2013, 01:09 PM   #20
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Re: gender disappointment?

Aw, I understand mama. This is my last pregnancy too. Each pregnancy has taken a harder toal on me, and this is our #5 blessing (plus 2 early losses). When I was pregnant with #4, I was told I was having a boy. In fact, after a couple u/s's confirming it, I was convinced it was a boy (even though my heart said it was a girl). so I bought all boy things, named him, then 2 weeks before I had her, the u/s didn't show a penis, but showed a very obvious "girly parts". I mourned not having the boy I was excited to have, and struggled for a while. I wasn't due for another 6 weeks, but had her 4 weeks early! I was unprepared, but I learned that I was really excited for her a few days after she was born. Yep, sadly it took a few days for me to accept her as a "her". But, today, she's 7, and I'm so glad to have her in my life!

I thought this pregnancy was a girl, but it's a boy. LOL! I'll never have a princess in this house again, so I need to be joyful for what I have because guess what? Some day, I'll have grandbabies!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. What if you named your boy Oliver?
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