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Old 04-15-2013, 07:25 AM   #11
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My mother was 40 when she had me. It's not that big of a deal and honestly I had no idea that she was an older mom until middle school. Then I met a lady whose mom had her at fifty! Yes, it's true about energy, but if you ask my mom, she will tell you that I kept her hip and modern. She couldn't sit back and relax. Oh, and stayed at home pretty much until 23 yrs old. No one believed it when I said her age. She could've been my grandmother...so I kind of lucked out and had two in one.

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Old 04-15-2013, 07:28 AM   #12
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Re: upper 30s or almost 40, or 40+ and pregnant

I actually felt physically better with my last baby at 29 than I did with my first at 21 because I didn't have the horrible sciatic pain. I was more active and worked until her birth, but had to quit working a month before my first was born because the pain was so bad. Pregnancy makes you tired, I don't think it matters how old you are.

We all make choices in life. I chose to have my kids when I was younger and before we were "settled" because I didn't want to have babies into my 30's because of the risk I felt was involved when I was first making those decisions. Looking back with more maturity under my belt I do see the wisdom of waiting and having a concrete life plan. However, I wouldn't change anything.
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Old 04-15-2013, 07:51 AM   #13
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Re: upper 30s or almost 40, or 40+ and pregnant

In my group of friends it is so common to have your first child in your mid to late 30's no one even thinks twice about it honestly. Sure we had a few friends who had their firsts earlier, but a lot of us didn't even get married till 30 and then had kids. I also know a ton of women in our group having late "surprise" babies, I have about 5 friends alone who have anywhere from 6-21 years between their last two kids, the oldest was 45. So for us it is the norm and is not looked at as strange at all. And most of us are really active and are really glad we waited, older parenting can have a lot of pros as well. At least it has for me and I was the youngest of my closest friends having my DS at 33.
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Old 04-15-2013, 07:55 AM   #14
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Re: upper 30s or almost 40, or 40+ and pregnant

Had my first at 37, which is typical for my area. My doctors told me I was a youngin', as 50% of their pregnant patient population is 40 and over! I have to say with all honesty, the best I have ever felt in my entire life was during my pregnancy! I loved it! I was tired yes, more so in the beginning, but just felt . . . perfect. No morning sickness AT ALL, and really just radiant every day!! It was so awesome!!

Now, with a 2 year old, I'm feeling exhausted every day, but that has more to do with the fact that we still co-sleep most of the time and she likes to sleep horizontally, which means we never get a good night's sleep!! Kick, kick! lol!
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Old 04-15-2013, 08:23 AM   #15
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Re: upper 30s or almost 40, or 40+ and pregnant

I had my first when I was 29 and my last when I was 36...not much difference in the pregnancies. My aunt had her first when she was 25 and her last at 47. The pregnancies weren't much different other than the higher risk factors, and she was much sicker the last time. A big difference was once the baby was born...caring for a newborn in your late 40's compared to your mid 20's was a LOT more tiring. She is asked on a regular basis if she is her son's grandmother too.
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Old 04-15-2013, 08:30 AM   #16
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I wish we had started a few years younger (I was 27 and dh was 30) but that's because I love having kids so much I wouldn't mind having another two but dh at 35 is complaining that he is too old. I'm like are you serious? He wants to retire when last kid is out of college.

We also found cysts on 20 week u/s with our newbie which could indicate a problem and it scared the heck out of me. I hadn't really looked into statistics about Downs and other problems that increase with age before that happened so that type of thing would be on my mind.
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Old 04-15-2013, 10:27 AM   #17
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Re: upper 30s or almost 40, or 40+ and pregnant

I love my kids, I am not as fit as some of you mamas! that would help I am sure. I love hearing where you all come from to this topic. I have a sister that was just barely 18 when dad passed away. Mom had her at 41. Mom had her first at 18. She's still with us. I am 38 and having my 4th. My oldest is 6. I think I am tired because I don't have those older kids to help!

I married late in life so I could not start at 22. and then we find out I could not have babies, we tried for a year to have meds, etc. and nothing. so we stopped and waited on God. A few yrs later I had my first! the most difficult child in the world.... She did not want to come out! they induced me at 1wk and a day over due. and she did not come till almost 2 days later! That should've given me a clue of her determination! my second came out so fast! that we were alone! and hubby cought the baby... His personality is "hello, people, I am here" the 3rd baby is your regular happy child, just now showing signs of being a determined litte one.

So, I am tired. I do stay home, was working part time as a wedding photographer, but that just had to be put to the side. Homeschooling, and running out of energy....

I am surrounded by beautiful mothers young and old, specially in my church. I wish my patience would not run out so fast and that my energy would be like when I was younger. thank you for putting my rearview mirror in perspective. I should look up ahead and not behind me.

God bless,

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Old 04-15-2013, 10:38 AM   #18
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Re: upper 30s or almost 40, or 40+ and pregnant

I was 24 when I had my DD. I didn't have more energy I don't think. I was exhausted. I had preterm labor from 26 weeks til 37 weeks 3 days when I had her.
I honestly have seen my best friend who was 41 when she had her first and probably only, she has more energy then I ever have. Though she is going to the gym, and other places. Doesn't do a ton of one on one with her DD.
I think the Advanced Maternal Age is a farce. Some hate me for saying it but I just don't see it. I truly believe it is a mind set. Even my old OB agreed with me. The statistics from back when it was deemed an "issue" are slighted due to less women doing it back then. He hasn't seen the same percentages as the statistics or close!
If you want to psych yourself in to this Advanced Maternal Age stuff then you will feel it. If you say it is not true then your likely to do well.
I am 34 and while I think my chances are slim due to needing to find a guy and all that jazz I haven't given up hope. I know I am actually more fertile now then in my twenty's...PCOS for the win and only win on that one.
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Old 04-15-2013, 11:03 AM   #19
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Re: upper 30s or almost 40, or 40+ and pregnant

Parenting and pg are what they are at any age! My oldest was born when I was 21 and my youngest when I was 42 (ages are in my siggy). And yes I had a LOT more energy when I was in my early-mid 20's and had little ones but NOW I am a lot more mellow and things that used to drive me batty when I was younger I can just take in stride now. I too was insulted by the OB practice I consulted when I found out I was pg with the youngest. So much so that I left that appointment, hired a homebirth midwife and never looked back. As far as what "others" think when my youngest was an infant I had a number of people ask me if it was my first grandchild!!!! Granted they were folks I ran into in the community who knew my oldest 2 from sports and probably couldn't get their head around 'anyone' having a 19 & 21 yo child and a newborn. Personally its no one's business but mine! And honestly I get a lot more raised eyebrows for the fact that I have 6 than that I had one in my 40's. Oh, and the one that really ticks me off! People who only know the littles and find out we have adult children ask if its a second marriage. Um NO! One hubby....and a big spread out family!!!
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Old 04-15-2013, 12:03 PM   #20
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Re: upper 30s or almost 40, or 40+ and pregnant

I really HATE that *so* *many* *women* in my youth and young adulthood told me to wait until my 30s to start having children. I never once heard that it gets harder in your 30s until I actually started TTC when I was 30. All I ever heard was that it was irresponsible to have children in your 20s, that I would forever regret it, that I would waste my youth and body taking care of babies. *sigh*

Not that it's THEIR fault that we haven't been able to have children yet, and I don't know whether or not we'd be having these struggles if we started at age 25. Who knows.

But I really feel like my prime years are lost. :-(
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