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Old 04-16-2013, 01:26 PM   #11
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Re: The words every woman wants to hear (not!)

Very sad. I hear it told to my friends all the time. C/S after C/S for average sized women with "too big" babies that end up being 8 pounds. Argh.

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Old 04-16-2013, 09:50 PM   #12
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Re: The words every woman wants to hear (not!)

That annoys me so much.

On the other hand, I was told by a CNM doing a well-woman exam long before I got pregnant that I had a "lovely wide bowl of a pelvis," meaning I'd have no trouble pushing a baby out. I think birth professionals should try to be more encouraging and positive, but of course, they have to believe it's true themselves.
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Old 04-16-2013, 10:13 PM   #13
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Re: The words every woman wants to hear (not!)

Just a word of warning, you never know what a woman's internal structure is. My mom is tall with wide, birthing-looking hips but had a beast of a time birthing two 7.5 pound babies vaginally. She had three doctors, without knowledge of what the others had said, remark that they would be shocked if she could birth a baby bigger than 8 pounds. As it turns out, we barely made it out despite using a range of birth positions. A few more days in utero and each of us would likely be a c-section baby.

There's no doubt that "too big" baby is overdiagnosed, but when a woman says that's why she had a c-section and seems at peace with her experience, it's probably best to just smile and make a point not to feel bad for her.
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Old 04-17-2013, 07:49 PM   #14
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Re: The words every woman wants to hear (not!)

I just feel a need to comment on this. I am petite and pretty thin but had curves. I totally look like I have some birthin' hips. My mom does too. I got seriously stuck in my mom and had birth injuries bc I was genuinely too large at 6 pounds to fit through my mom's pelvis. On my due date with my son, I was in labor with very heavy contractions and he wasn't dropping. I opted for the recommended C/S the next day and when they pulled him out (7 lbs 7oz) they confirmed by how stuck he was in my narrow pelvis that he wouldn't have come out vaginally either.

So, I have had people tell me straight to my face that even though it was confirmed by two OB's in the OR and we saw what the baby's head looked like from being shoved in there, the average person somehow still thinks I was duped into an unnecessary procedure if only I could have had faith in myself. Honestly, I think this is just one of those things where you don't understand how presumptuous and condescending it is to question these women and these doctors until you have been on the other side.

Just want to throw that in. Another perspective. Another experience.
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Old 04-17-2013, 08:06 PM   #15
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Re: The words every woman wants to hear (not!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hungry Caterpillar View Post
I just feel a need to comment on this. I am petite and pretty thin but had curves. I totally look like I have some birthin' hips. My mom does too. I got seriously stuck in my mom and had birth injuries bc I was genuinely too large at 6 pounds to fit through my mom's pelvis. On my due date with my son, I was in labor with very heavy contractions and he wasn't dropping. I opted for the recommended C/S the next day and when they pulled him out (7 lbs 7oz) they confirmed by how stuck he was in my narrow pelvis that he wouldn't have come out vaginally either.

So, I have had people tell me straight to my face that even though it was confirmed by two OB's in the OR and we saw what the baby's head looked like from being shoved in there, the average person somehow still thinks I was duped into an unnecessary procedure if only I could have had faith in myself. Honestly, I think this is just one of those things where you don't understand how presumptuous and condescending it is to question these women and these doctors until you have been on the other side.

Just want to throw that in. Another perspective. Another experience.
I understand that some women do have the same experience as you and I would not want you to feel that I am judging any woman at all. But around here women who want a hospital birth have to drive an hour to the closest hospital and I have heard of many "too big" babies that have been delivered by scheduled c-section with no trial of labor or indications of a small pelvis.
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Old 04-17-2013, 08:13 PM   #16
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Re: The words every woman wants to hear (not!)

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Originally Posted by Hungry Caterpillar View Post
I just feel a need to comment on this. I am petite and pretty thin but had curves. I totally look like I have some birthin' hips. My mom does too. I got seriously stuck in my mom and had birth injuries bc I was genuinely too large at 6 pounds to fit through my mom's pelvis. On my due date with my son, I was in labor with very heavy contractions and he wasn't dropping. I opted for the recommended C/S the next day and when they pulled him out (7 lbs 7oz) they confirmed by how stuck he was in my narrow pelvis that he wouldn't have come out vaginally either.

So, I have had people tell me straight to my face that even though it was confirmed by two OB's in the OR and we saw what the baby's head looked like from being shoved in there, the average person somehow still thinks I was duped into an unnecessary procedure if only I could have had faith in myself. Honestly, I think this is just one of those things where you don't understand how presumptuous and condescending it is to question these women and these doctors until you have been on the other side.

Just want to throw that in. Another perspective. Another experience.
I was in labor for days with a baby who was "stuck". really, she was in a bad position & once we fixed her position (lifted my belly using a sling), she was born easily. All nearly 10 pds of her - though some of her hair was rubbed off!. I also had a "stuck' 9 1/2 pd baby who was just big headed & sunny side up. I delivered her with one leg on dh's head. no joke. Yeah, those babies might have been "stuck" in a hospital, but at home they were perfectly deliverable, because we could get creative.

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Old 04-18-2013, 04:51 AM   #17
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Re: The words every woman wants to hear (not!)

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Originally Posted by MyLovely View Post
Just a word of warning, you never know what a woman's internal structure is. My mom is tall with wide, birthing-looking hips but had a beast of a time birthing two 7.5 pound babies vaginally. She had three doctors, without knowledge of what the others had said, remark that they would be shocked if she could birth a baby bigger than 8 pounds. As it turns out, we barely made it out despite using a range of birth positions. A few more days in utero and each of us would likely be a c-section baby.

There's no doubt that "too big" baby is overdiagnosed, but when a woman says that's why she had a c-section and seems at peace with her experience, it's probably best to just smile and make a point not to feel bad for her.
Yep. I have pretty average sized hips for my body structure. Nothing huge, but not crazy tiny and that has nothing to do with my internal structure. I broke my tailbone, tore my cervix and had a 4th degree tear with my 8lbs 1oz baby. A friend smaller than me gave birth to a 10lb baby with no issue. My body could not have done that and hip size has nothing to do with it.

Luckily my next 2 came early and I only tore but didn't break anything with my 6lb range babies, but I'm not sure I would have been able to do it full term. My mom had similar isssues. I'm thankful my dr's keep an eye on it and aren't just looking at my hips. I'd rather have a c-section than break my tailbone again.
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Old 04-18-2013, 05:51 AM   #18
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Re: The words every woman wants to hear (not!)

I have a friend on FB, who is probably 110-115 lbs soaking wet, give birth naturally to an 11 lb 1 oz baby at the beginning of March. He's already in 6 month clothes!
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Old 04-18-2013, 06:31 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hungry Caterpillar
I just feel a need to comment on this. I am petite and pretty thin but had curves. I totally look like I have some birthin' hips. My mom does too. I got seriously stuck in my mom and had birth injuries bc I was genuinely too large at 6 pounds to fit through my mom's pelvis. On my due date with my son, I was in labor with very heavy contractions and he wasn't dropping. I opted for the recommended C/S the next day and when they pulled him out (7 lbs 7oz) they confirmed by how stuck he was in my narrow pelvis that he wouldn't have come out vaginally either.

So, I have had people tell me straight to my face that even though it was confirmed by two OB's in the OR and we saw what the baby's head looked like from being shoved in there, the average person somehow still thinks I was duped into an unnecessary procedure if only I could have had faith in myself. Honestly, I think this is just one of those things where you don't understand how presumptuous and condescending it is to question these women and these doctors until you have been on the other side.

Just want to throw that in. Another perspective. Another experience.
This
I'm a big girl with big hips. I pushes for 3 hours and had an emergency section with my first because of severe decels, dropping into the 60s and not coming back up before the next contraction. He was 9.10 and had a small head.
Some women just can't have a bigger than average baby. My uterus is slightly tilted and my pelvis isn't very big at all. I *could* have had my dd (6.12) but she was my third pregnancy and cs and I was measuring 3 wks big with an estimate of 8lbs so a repeat CS was ordered.

I really do agree that Drs (thankfully not mine!) tell woken that too often and I think women are induced too often. If I hear of a friend having a scheduled CS or being induced I kindly try and let them know that just because I can't have vaginal deliveries that it isn't something common. It's all how you approach people. Some people fully trust their Drs because they assume they are doing what's best for them. I try to encourage people to look for alternatives and get a second opinion if warranted.
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Old 04-18-2013, 02:42 PM   #20
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Re: The words every woman wants to hear (not!)

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This is awful too. My friend got induced when they said her baby was six pounds because she had trouble with her first that was a little over six pounds. That second baby, which they repeatedly assured her was six pounds was born at three pounds and some change. She spent a long time in the nicu and had a lot of complications from the early induction.
That is terrible! I have a friend who had "GD" (not really sure about that), was induced early because they didn't want the baby to get too big, even though her GD was diet-controlled, then she had a baby less than 6 pounds after a c-section because they couldn't figure out why the induction wasn't working. Maybe she wasn't ready yet?
I also have a friend who was told her pelvis wasn't big enough for her 7.5 pound baby after an induction and she had such a terrible experience that she has chosen not to have more children
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