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Old 04-24-2013, 04:04 PM   #11
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Re: How to discipline a very sensitive child?

Originally Posted by s@hmommy View Post
I don't think he is playing me, he seems genuinely upset, but then again he could just be really good at it . The stool sounds like a good idea, he only does it when I forget to lock the gate, so I really think it is him just wanting to know whats up there (which is practically nothing, so I don't mind him looking).

He is the complete opposite of his sister, so I am really learning all over again how to handle this stuff! I don't want to be a pushover, but at the same time I don't think that him thinking I am mad is going to teach him anything other than fear. I may just have to reserve timeouts (standard punishment for dd's everyday offenses) for more serious issues with him when they arise, and try some of the more gentle methods mentioned here for lesser issues.
This was totally me when my second was 2. I clearly remember the first day he pushed the limits and I spoke to him quite firmly and planted his bum in a TO. I thought I had broken him, he cried like the world had ended. My DD needed (and still needs) a different approach and she paved the way for parenting, unfortunately for DS. They still need a different approach, but once I learned each of their "currencies" life became easier. Good luck, mama.


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Old 04-24-2013, 08:39 PM   #12
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Oh, little guy is extremely sensitive. If you get upset with him (for him clearly doing something wrong...hitting, purposely doing something that you have already said no to a few times) and I just mean raising your voice or talking sternly he just breaks down. Literally, he just starts sobbing (it isn't even a meltdown or tantrum) it is like you broke his heart.....which breaks my heart to see him feel that way. But, he does need to learn. When I hurt his feelings, then I bring him close to me and talk to him about why I got upset with him and explain to him why (again) he shouldn't do that. I talk to him, ask questions, make sure he understands what I'm saying, and tell him I love him and don't want to upset him, but he needs to listen to my words the first time.

My mom, the most loving and gently Grandma ever even broke his spirit and she felt horrible! It wasn't anything big, but I think he was not expecting it from her and just did the puppy dog eyes, full frown, lip quiver into a silent sob.

ETA: my little guy does the sorry over and over and over and over again also but with the frown and lip quiver except he pronounces it "rorry".
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Last edited by ajane; 04-24-2013 at 08:41 PM.
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Old 04-24-2013, 09:06 PM   #13
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We have an extremely sweet and sensitive 4yo DS, he does the same thing and no it's not playing anyone.

I recently am trying to be slightly stern, give a quick correction w not much emotion and then move on. It seems to be when we linger to long in the moment that he really gets upset.

He's so funny that if his baby brother hits him he will say sorry!! I must explain you didnt do anything wrong!

So again I just quick correct and move on, it has really helped, also letting them know it's the behavior not the child.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.
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Old 04-25-2013, 07:05 PM   #14
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Re: How to discipline a very sensitive child?

My middle child (DD2) is very sensitive to having someone upset with her. She shuts down (her head hangs, she walks away, and lays on the floor in the fetal position and covers her head and weeps these huge crocodile tears silently) if you use a sharp voice with her or brush her aside. She does this whether she is being disciplined or if I'm just telling her wait, if her sister won't let her play, or if she has to say good-bye to someone (although this is one is getting better.)

It goes against my nature, but I try to keep a calm voice with her, get down to her level, and hold her close to me. It doesn't always happen but I try because it is the most effective in disciplining her.
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Old 04-26-2013, 05:41 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by escapethevillage
Nobody listens to a lecture.
someone needed to tell my dad this growing up. I prayed for spankings. I hated the lectures and only listened enough to keep from getting in additional trouble.

I do think with Littles, it's important to keep the words at a minimum. They hear the first of what you say, so you be careful how you word things.
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Old 04-28-2013, 02:05 PM   #16
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Re: How to discipline a very sensitive child?

I think it's easier as it takes a lot LESS disciplining. So my more sensitive guy only needs to be told once....and he remembers that he was told. Wheras the other guy needs to be told several times.

Problems arise when they are disciplined together as you need to separate it really....
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