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Old 04-28-2013, 04:16 PM   #11
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Re: The "Dad met the boyfriend with a shotgun" thing...

Katie, I agree with your sentiments. It is actually very damaging to a marriage for the various inlaws to refuse to give approval and love to the man/woman who marries into the family. We want our kids' marriages to succeed and be healthy, so we have to support our (grown) children in their decisions.

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Old 04-28-2013, 04:51 PM   #12
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I have mixed feelings. I think there are kids you don't want around your kids regardless of gender.
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Old 04-28-2013, 05:23 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by mcpforever
"You're gonna have to beat those girls off with a stick" is heard around here. Same sentiment as "Get your shotgun ready."
We have 4 boys, and hear this a lot. We also have friends (all of whom have girls, no boys) asking if they can hire our boys to be bodyguards for their girls when they're all old enough to date.
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Old 04-28-2013, 05:27 PM   #14
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Re: The "Dad met the boyfriend with a shotgun" thing...

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Originally Posted by evasimone View Post
I agree. Honestly I find the whole "must protect my daughter from consensual dating" bizarre. Where is the my 15 year old boy brought his girlfriend over and I threatened her with a cleaver? Doesn't anyone else roll their eyes when they hear that nonsense?
Definitely makes me roll my eyes.
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Old 04-28-2013, 05:46 PM   #15
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Re: The "Dad met the boyfriend with a shotgun" thing...

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Originally Posted by ktmelody View Post
I think both are stupid.


I have given my teenage daughters good morals and the ability to choose a decent boyfriend.

My 14 year old has been dating her boyfriend since the end of October, they are not sexually active, he is a super nice boy, and I love his mother. I made a close relationship with her when she was hit by a car in January (my daughter). His mom worked at the hospital and visited every day,so did he. He is very polite, always kind, and loves my daughter. Or he wouldn't be hanging around here every day of the week.


I don't need my husband to meet boys at the door to give them a good talking too, their actions and behavior in my home is enough. So far so good.

I hate the idea that moms will never like their sons girlfriends, and that dads will never like their daughters boyfriends....it's not a competition!

If my daughter marries this boy I want to love him like my own son. I just don't get the mentality that no one other than your own parents are ever good enough for you... Oh well...I like to give these kids the benefit of the doubt. I think they have good intentions for the most part and first impressions are usually a good starting point.

yep^^ it's all about how the kids are. I also agree that it can be damaging if parents don't agree on the chosen other. I know of one family where they have been married for about 10 years, together about 18 and while he may not be the prince charming they always dreamt of(the parents), the couple obviously make a good match for each other.

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This mentality drives me nuts too...

Sorry couldn't resist. In fairness I was totally a half dressed teenage girl.....up to all sorts, but turned out fine (I think ?)
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Old 04-28-2013, 05:49 PM   #16
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yep^^ it's all about how the kids are. I also agree that it can be damaging if parents don't agree on the chosen other. I know of one family where they have been married for about 10 years, together about 18 and while he may not be the prince charming they always dreamt of(the parents), the couple obviously make a good match for each other.

Sorry couldn't resist. In fairness I was totally a half dressed teenage girl.....up to all sorts, but turned out fine (I think ?)
Its just that blaming how a girl dresses on a boys thoughts of sexual activity is wrong.

If said girl wearing short shorts and a bikini top and a teenage boy rapes her (violent or date rape). Then it must be her fault...right? Cuz she had little clothing it was just an open invitiation.
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Old 04-28-2013, 06:06 PM   #17
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Re: The "Dad met the boyfriend with a shotgun" thing...

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Its just that blaming how a girl dresses on a boys thoughts of sexual activity is wrong.

If said girl wearing short shorts and a bikini top and a teenage boy rapes her (violent or date rape). Then it must be her fault...right? Cuz she had little clothing it was just an open invitiation.
No, that thought never even entered my mind in a zillion years.

Seriously though, teenage girls(I'm saying this was me btw) and college and older do dress sexy to attract men........just the way it is. Seriously not even entering my mind of the above. I suppose as I never think that is an "excuse" in a zillion years as said.



We are all just protective over our own kids. We all just want the best and have to try not to get all "mama bear" if our view of the best doesn't match up.....often it turns out for the best after all.
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Old 04-28-2013, 06:06 PM   #18
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Re: The "Dad met the boyfriend with a shotgun" thing...

I think it's a cliche thing. But regardless of tredition and sterotype. We know us moms and dads care about both sons and daughters, and whom they will befriend with, or dating with. I think joke is that some dads tend to be way overprotective for their daughters while moms tend to be cool with it. It's not always the case though.
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Old 04-28-2013, 06:34 PM   #19
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Well, as a girl they used to say that about in New York, with no actual expectation that my family even had a shotgun (no guns in our house) I think it's a harmless way to pay a pretty girl a compliment. There was never going to be a shotgun on my roof. But I can see how it might carry more weight and cause concern in a more gun oriented culture.

Of course, being a girl myself, I know how dangerous we are. Both of my kids deserve my protection.
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:29 PM   #20
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Re: The "Dad met the boyfriend with a shotgun" thing...

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But yeah I don't like when people say "I hope daddy has a gun" to us when they see our girls. Daddy does have a gun but really? Is he going to shoot the boys he doesn't approve of? It doesn't make sense and annoys me.
I would take it as a compliment. The person is likely means that your daughters are a catch - pretty, kind, smart, generous, etc.
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