Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-04-2013, 10:05 PM   #21
Rewind_Selector's Avatar
Rewind_Selector
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,659
Re: I have another rant for today about my brother in jail

Quote:
Originally Posted by proudsahmof4 View Post
I know this is a serious situation but that just about made me snort milk out my nose.

What does he say?
I posted it earlier but one time he said " I bet you get to wear clean underwear everyday" I guess since he has no commissary money he can't buy any new draws.

Advertisement

__________________
ISO Patons VooDoo Yarn. Try me on colors.
Rewind_Selector is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2013, 10:06 PM   #22
keen1981's Avatar
keen1981
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 12,360
Quote:
Originally Posted by Palooka

This is a bit rude IMO.
Eh. I have alot of experience with enabling. You'd be surprised how much the family needs counseling on how to DEAL with the family member. I actually go to a support group for enablers so that i don't become one. I have learned how to have a healthy and functioning relationship with boundaries and limits.

So.... The rude police can arrest someone else tonight. Seems they are always patrolling DS these days.. Instead of just posting their own responses they need to write tickets to others. LOL! (That's a joke. Calm down)
__________________
BFing, CDing, all natural mama to three boys! Certified lactation Counselor
keen1981 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2013, 10:06 PM   #23
Palooka's Avatar
Palooka
Registered Users
Formerly: jenn.***
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,449
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rewind_Selector

I may pass this little tid bit along to him

I don't plan on sending him anymore money. That's not even an issue. I just hate how e tries to make me feel like it's my fault he has no clean underwear(he actually called once and one of his blurted out messages was "I bet you get to wear clean underwear everyday") or can't talk to his kids. His tone is very accusatory. It's like he's saying "I can't talk to my kids because you won't let me"
Yup. It is somehow your fault because you are the one telling him no. My brother is a big fan of talking about how unfair life is because I got "lucky" and got out, but he is stuck taking care of my parents (as if!) and I moved away and got a college degree. He makes me feel like when I don't give him any money I am hoarding something that isn't mine, he actually seems to think he has as much right to my money as I do. And he reminds me of all the ways he is suffering as a result of my selfishness. It sucks. Your brother sounds more angry than mine though, mine is just really pitiful most of the time.

Again, just remember that if he actually wanted to talk to his kids he would. He would write them letters and send letters to the mom and arrange a time for a phone call and earn their trust. But he isn't doing that because that is not his goal. He just knows how much that matters to you. His only goal is to satisfy his selfishness.
Palooka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2013, 10:07 PM   #24
Hillargh
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 7,903
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rewind_Selector View Post

Thanks for following me around and posting on my threads tonight

If i don't answer he just keeps calling. He may be able to hear because when I answer he stops after a couple more calls. I don't actually talk to him because I won't pay $14.99 for a 10 minute call. He just blurts out messages in the short time frame they give to state your name.
Eventually he'll give up. Put the ringer on silent and go to sleep. Or go outside. Or turn on some bomb music. He keeps calling because he knows you'll give in. Would you rather have a few days or a week of insanity, or years? It's tough, but the next time he called I would tell him you will not ever give him a dime again. And from now on you won't be accepting calls. (And personally I would say if he continues you will have him charged with harassment to add on to his jail time.) Then hang up.

You can do it mama. Think of it as a toddler in terrible twos. Time out, time out, time out. But eventually they stop throwing their blocks at their sister's head, kwim?

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using DS Forum
Hillargh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2013, 10:08 PM   #25
Palooka's Avatar
Palooka
Registered Users
Formerly: jenn.***
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,449
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by keen1981

Eh. I have alot of experience with enabling. You'd be surprised how much the family needs counseling on how to DEAL with the family member. I actually go to a support group for enablers so that i don't become one. I have learned how to have a healthy and functioning relationship with boundaries and limits.

So.... The rude police can arrest someone else tonight. Seems they are always patrolling DS these days.. Instead of just posting their own responses they need to write tickets to others. LOL! (That's a joke. Calm down)
I did post a response. A long one. If you don't like being seen as rude you could do the same. Or is that rude of me to say?
Palooka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2013, 10:10 PM   #26
emmehkay's Avatar
emmehkay
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 125
Can your phone company do anything to block the number on your end?

nak...please forgive typos
__________________
Wife to N, Momma to M (8/26/09), J (4/21/11), and H (1/2/13)
emmehkay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2013, 10:10 PM   #27
Hillargh
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 7,903
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rewind_Selector View Post

I posted it earlier but one time he said " I bet you get to wear clean underwear everyday" I guess since he has no commissary money he can't buy any new draws.
To be fair, I don't know many grown men that wear clean underwear daily unless they have a wife that doesn't tolerate swamp butt. Just sayin'

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using DS Forum
Hillargh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2013, 10:12 PM   #28
Rewind_Selector's Avatar
Rewind_Selector
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,659
Re: I have another rant for today about my brother in jail

Quote:
Originally Posted by Palooka View Post
This is a bit rude IMO.
Yes it is but easily ignored. I do need counseling for a plethora of reasons but not because I won't change my number.
I really just wanted to vent about his buttheadedness (look I made a new word) He will get out of jail and keep doing what he does. I do not enable him because I sent him money once. He's making me a little bonkers is all.
__________________
ISO Patons VooDoo Yarn. Try me on colors.
Rewind_Selector is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2013, 10:12 PM   #29
Hungry Caterpillar's Avatar
Hungry Caterpillar
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Southern California
Posts: 5,240
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hillargh

Eventually he'll give up. Put the ringer on silent and go to sleep. Or go outside. Or turn on some bomb music. He keeps calling because he knows you'll give in. Would you rather have a few days or a week of insanity, or years? It's tough, but the next time he called I would tell him you will not ever give him a dime again. And from now on you won't be accepting calls. (And personally I would say if he continues you will have him charged with harassment to add on to his jail time.) Then hang up.

You can do it mama. Think of it as a toddler in terrible twos. Time out, time out, time out. But eventually they stop throwing their blocks at their sister's head, kwim?

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using DS Forum
In my family with a particular member we have to do this every once in a while. We call it ACIO. Addict Cry It Out

OP, it's super rough to be the rational person when an irrational person is convinced that you owe them something. The only option is to step away
__________________
Andrea
Mama to B and E, Wife to E
Parenting with Hugs and Terror since 2011
Hungry Caterpillar is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2013, 10:16 PM   #30
qsefthuko's Avatar
qsefthuko
Registered Users
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 16,344
Re: I have another rant for today about my brother in jail

Quote:
Originally Posted by emmehkay View Post
Can your phone company do anything to block the number on your end?

nak...please forgive typos
I think she said she did but when he uses a calling card a different number shows up so the block doesn't work. Short of changing the phone number(which op doesn't want to do) I am not sure anything but persistently refusing to answer would do the job.

I would go ahead and change the number though. Your kids can learn a new number. I think it would be less of a headache to teach the kids a new number than to deal with the persistent phone calls. But then frequent calls from people I don't want to talk to drive me nuts.

I forgot when I get a lot of calls from sales people I just pick up the phone and immediately hang it back up as many times as it takes them to stop calling.
__________________
qsefthuko is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.