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Old 05-14-2013, 05:12 PM   #11
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Re: 3 yo obsessed with looking "beautiful"

this is my daughter exactly. she's 5 now, but has been like this for a couple years now.

She will throw a FIT if what she is wearing isn't perfect in her eyes, and will cry because she "doesn't look beautiful."

When she asks if she looks pretty, I agree and say yes she does, but I also make a point to tell her she's smart and sweet and loving and so on. There are some great suggestions here, and I think I will have to use some of them. thanks for this thread.


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Old 05-14-2013, 05:26 PM   #12
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My niece is like this, she's 4. She's very picky about her clothes. She has a hard time going to her tae-kwon-do class because she hates the pants and tshirt she has to wear for a uniform. So it causes issues sometimes, but it's just part of her personality. Her mom is fashionable but my older niece doesn't worry about clothes. So idk, I think it's just a phase. It's not as if you're teaching your daughter she has to dress this way or she's ugly. I like the suggestion of telling her she's always beautiful, and point it out when she's not dressed up

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Old 05-14-2013, 06:54 PM   #13
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Re: 3 yo obsessed with looking "beautiful"

My dd1 was just like that and dd2 is now almost 4 and going through that phase. By kindergarten most girls are done with the princess dresses it seems.

The wardrobe decision each day is torturous as dd2 decides what would be the ' most beautiful '. Anything that remotely resembles something a boy might wear is refused.

I think it might be part of realizing there are girls and there are boys and they are different. dd1, at that age, was adamant that anyone with long hair was a girl and had not problems pointing that out in Home Depot. Nothing we could say could convince her.
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Old 05-14-2013, 11:19 PM   #14
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My daughter (4 years 5 months) is all about being beautiful. She even picks her clothes according to what she thinks the people we will see that day will like. When she asks me if she is beautiful in look her in the eye and say something along the lines of you are very beautiful because you helped your sister with her puzzle or because you help me take care of your baby brother. She still wants to look beautiful and that is fine but my hope is that all the comments about beautiful character will stay with her.
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Old 05-15-2013, 06:44 AM   #15
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Re: 3 yo obsessed with looking "beautiful"

I think lots of little girls go through similar phases. I think you may be unintentionally encouraging an obsession with the non-chalant reactions. She's trying to feel beautiful and the down played reaction may leave her feeling like she can't quite get there. I'd tell her she is beautiful as often as I tell her she's smart and nice and funny.
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Old 05-15-2013, 09:29 AM   #16
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Re: 3 yo obsessed with looking "beautiful"

My daughter has been like this since she could express an opinion. No joke, at 8 months old she would cry and reach for pink dresses in the store and "pretty" was one of her very first words.

I had 2 boys first, she wore some dresses as a baby, but pretty much did everything they did and was treated exactly the same way they were...but still just likes "pretty" things. The child has more hair accessories and jewelry than I do. I like to dress up for special occasions, but am a t-shirt and jeans girl.

I tell her she is pretty or beautiful if she asks, I also tell her she is so smart, and such a big girl when she learns new things. I'm not going to downplay the "pretty" stuff, because it's something she really enjoys, I just make sure that is not the only type of positive comments she gets.

I also tell my boys they are handsome, especially when they seem really proud of the clothes they pick out for themselves. I see nothing wrong with pointing out positive physical features, I just don't make that the only thing they hear.
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Old 05-16-2013, 07:50 AM   #17
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Dd1 was the same. She started right at 3. I would tell her 'yes, you look nice/pretty/whatever' with not much emotion-just a smile. When she was nice to dd2, helped me, shared her toys ect then I would get excited and compliment her. At 8 she still wants to be pretty(nice frilly dresses are her fav!) but doesnt ask for compliments. I do tell her she is pretty and looks nice though. I dont think it's wrong to tell her she's pretty-and I do want her to know she is-I just make sure she hears how smart, nice, sweet she is too She isnt obsessed with expensive clothing and actually considers the cost of items she picks out. Ive always been honest with her about our budget for things-clothes, food, shoes,ect (and my remarks of the ridiculous cost of certian things has had an influence I'm sure lol). If she truely wants something out of the budget she has to pitch in on the cost. 99% of the time she decides that it isnt worth it.
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