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Old 06-04-2013, 11:35 AM   #1
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Dh is very certain that we can't have another baby. We have four age 15-2.5. The oldest 3 are from my first marriage.

Dh is an AMAZING father. I would love one more so our ydd has a sibling close in age. We use the pull and pray method. Lets just say we are pretty active TMI- every month or two right around ovulation he uses particularly bad aim. Then I wait in hope for 2 weeks, then I am beyond bummed when af arrives.

I am so sick if this cycle. It's almost like he wants an oops so he can say to people he wasn't trying and not look irresponsible. He really would love another but feels its too much money.

Just needed to vent. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there with an indecisive dh

Eta: I am 39 so time is not on my side

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Last edited by eliz7; 06-04-2013 at 11:40 AM.
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Old 06-04-2013, 11:51 AM   #2
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Re: TTA vent

Have you sat down with him and had a heart to heart about your feelings? kids cost money yes but everything costs money and imo kids are worth every penny
I hope your able to get him on board with another baby
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Old 06-04-2013, 12:09 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Sweet_Fantasy_Fox
Have you sat down with him and had a heart to heart about your feelings? kids cost money yes but everything costs money and imo kids are worth every penny
I hope your able to get him on board with another baby
Thanks
He really wants the kids we have to have everything they need. He works non-stop to provide it and we live in a VERY high COL area. I just graduated with my BSN and will start working part time once I pass the NCLEX and become an RN to take some pressure off of him.

We have spoken many times and he is just not open to it. I guess subconsciously he is because he knows the signs of ovulation and I am as regular as can be but just isn't willing to really try
So I wait each month and hope for an oops.
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Old 06-04-2013, 02:07 PM   #4
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Re: TTA vent

My DH was just like this.

I think in his heart he wanted another, but his logical mind couldn't put the pieces together.

I was very careful with charting and stuff when we were TTA b/c I never wanted to trick him into anything...

We wound up with 2 OOPS babies. One is from being careless. The other is from a contraception failure.

I cried when I found out we were having the most recent baby. I was concerned about DH's reaction, and I was morbidly frustrated that we were having another one so soon. I wanted a fourth, but I just wasn't ready yet for another one. DH was so elated, I think he was more excited than I was! Despite his saying he was "DONE DONE DONE!" ... obviously he wanted another. He was over the moon.

Anyway, we are done having babies now. But, I just wanted to offer and say that sometimes these things work themselves out, but it takes time. I was desperate for another baby after my second child was born. I was miserable thinking of never having another. I cried for a long time over it. I got pregnant accidentally when my second child was just about to turn 3.

Just be patient with him. I am sure he doesn't mean to be frustrating you.

Last edited by Kiliki; 06-04-2013 at 02:08 PM.
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Old 06-10-2013, 05:19 PM   #5
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Um. I think I'm your DH in female form LOL. There are lots of logical reasons why we shouldn't try for a baby until at least later this year. Only 1 (logical) reason to try now (I'm 40). I can't bring myself to try, but I found myself unable to say anything to stop the potential oops a couple weeks ago! I suppose we'll know soon...
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Old 07-10-2013, 10:58 PM   #6
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Re: TTA vent

exactly like the above poster, it was rough for me to adjust mentally during my entire pregnancy but dh was elated, which helped me adjust. it was like he did a complete 180 when he found out. (i was the one crying my eyes out for 6 mos)

logically it made no sense for us either, but somehow it makes all the sense in the world now.
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