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Old 06-30-2013, 10:08 PM   #1
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For all you extended bf'ing mamas...

If you breastfed past the 2 year mark, how old was your child when you stopped nursing? Did you wean or did you child wean himself? If your child weaned him or herself what age were they and how did you know they were done?

Our son is turning 3 years old this month and is still nursing at night before bed and I have been tandem nursing him along with our littlest since she was born last july. In my heart I feel like his nursing is coming to an end but I don't know how it is going to go down because I know I won't deny him and it doesn't seem like he is wanting to stop really but I don't know. I just feel like he asks for it every night unless he falls asleep before getting upstairs and I don't know what is going to change that, I can't imagine him at this point in the game just deciding he is done? I feel like he is getting too old, but is that wrong of me to think?! Aside from my hubby and best friend no one knows he still nurses at night, I am kind of embarrassed by it just because of his age. He told me tonight "Maggie needs milkies", and I asked him if he was going to have milkies forever and he said yes lol. They have nursed together at bedtime for a year this upcoming weekend and now that the baby is older it is so sweet and funny to see them interact when they are both nursing. Aside from making eachother giggle, the sweetness is just too much to handle, they really love eachother!

Anyway I guess I am just looking for some personal experiences here since this is new territory for me with my first 2 weaning themselves around 18 months!


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Last edited by mommadeeof4+; 06-30-2013 at 10:16 PM.
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Old 06-30-2013, 10:55 PM   #2
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Re: For all you extended bf'ing mamas...

I weaned my older 2 shortly before they turned 4. I did not tandem nurse though as they are 4 years and 2 months apart in age. They did not voluntarily wean themselves either. They both wanted to continue nursing. I would lay down with them and tell them it was time to hold Mommy tight at bedtime. Otherwise it was full on tears. I couldn't take that so did the above instead. It took several weeks of this because as I said they were not ready to wean. I wish I had gone ahead and let them wean when they were ready.

My youngest is now just turned 2 years old this month. I am hoping to be able to let him wean when he is ready. He is a very demanding nursling though. With him, I am most tempted to wean early. No tandem nursing with him either as he came along 8 years, almost to the day, after my middle child. He was born June 9th. My older son was born June 8th.

With none of them did I hide the fact I was nursing into toddlerhood. Although by the time they hit 3 years of age they really did only want to nurse at naps and bedtimes. So unless I made a point of saying something to people(which I think would be really weird) most were unaware I was still nursing.

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Old 07-01-2013, 08:45 AM   #3
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Re: For all you extended bf'ing mamas...

My youngest just stopped. He had always nursed himself to sleep. We were visiting my brother for Christmas, and it was just a few days before his 3rd birthday, and instead of latching on, he just turned over & went to sleep. Same thing the next night. It was 100% his decision.
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Old 07-01-2013, 08:53 AM   #4
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Re: For all you extended bf'ing mamas...

My oldest nursed until around 2.5. I was pregnant with #2 and he had gotten down to at the very end only nursing in the morning. I was around 7 months pregnant and when he came in one morning I asked him if he wanted a glass of juice. He was so excited and he completely forgot about nursing. It was sad but he just never asked again.
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Old 07-01-2013, 09:03 AM   #5
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Re: For all you extended bf'ing mamas...

I let my children self wean. My 3rd son weaned at 37 months and I was tandeming he and my 4th son. My dd just turned 3 and I see no signs of her weaning.
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Old 07-03-2013, 12:26 PM   #6
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Re: For all you extended bf'ing mamas...

Around the time my dd was turning 3, she was down to pretty much just at bedtime too. I started with singing a song and she could nurse for the duration. I started singing pretty slow and gradually, over the course of a few weeks, sang faster or chose shorter songs. Then I went to I'll count to 5, then 3. At that point, she was barely even touching it before it was over, definitely not getting milk. I still stayed with her (she slept in a sidecarred crib at that point) and eventually we discovered and she would listen to some of their free sample stories while I laid next to her (I don't work for them or anything, just love them and found them super useful!). It took a couple of months I think, but she adjusted better than I expected and it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be.
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Old 07-03-2013, 10:27 PM   #7
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Re: For all you extended bf'ing mamas...

I weaned my DD at 4.5 years because I was considering getting pregnant again and I didn't want to triandem nurse (DS is 2 and still nursing). We had a No More Milkies party and she got a two-wheeled bike out of the deal. She asked to nurse a few times after that and it really broke my heart to say no, but it's hard to say that 4.5 years was not long enough, you know? She never cried about it, though--that would have done me in.

She was only nursing right before bedtime at that point (not to sleep), so it was not a really difficult transition.

I was not embarrassed about nursing her--I was proud! I really want my DS to nurse at least that long! There is nothing wrong or weird about nursing an older child, IMO. It is the biological norm.
Catherine, mama to Preschooler Girl 9/08, Toddler Boy 3/11, and Twin Girls 2/14!
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Old 07-04-2013, 07:38 AM   #8
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Re: For all you extended bf'ing mamas...

DD1 nursed until 38 months when she self weaned. We had been down to just morning and bed time for nearly 6 months. Then one day she just didn't ask. She went 4 days, then asked again. I nursed her that last time. She again waited 4 days to ask again. I said to her, "Don't you think you're getting kinda big for milkas?" She said, "I guess." That was it. All weaned. if she had been upset and said no, I would have nursed her. I am now tandem nursing my 2 1/2 yo and nearly 11 mo. I have good days and bad days with nursing the 2 1/2 yo. I have set some pretty serious limits for her. But will nurse her as long as she wants, just not necessarily as frequently as she wants.
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Old 07-04-2013, 08:09 AM   #9
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My first 2 nursed till 4.5.

With my oldest I didn't know how to wean her.
I was done but she was still nursing around the clock. I was tandem nursing for 2 years at that point.

She didn't handle cutting back well. I weaned her cold turkey and it was a horrible 3-4 days.
We survived but I felt horrible

DS1 I wanted to do something different.
I had been tandem nursing for a year at that point. He was also a nursing fanatic.
We started talking about a weaning party with cake and presents. He had to not nurse for a whole week and then he could have his party.

With some encouragement he made it a week and had his party. After that he asked a few times but I gently remind him he had his weaning party already. He was fine and we had zero tears.

My next youngest 2 are 3.5 and 18 months.
I have already started talking about a weaning party with my 3.5 year old.
I'm hoping to wean him by 4 because his nursing is getting to be a bit much for me now.
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Old 07-09-2013, 10:50 AM   #10
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Re: For all you extended bf'ing mamas...

If you want him to stop the gentlest way is don't offer but don't refuse.

I wasn't tandem nursing, but my son stopped on his own shortly before he turned 4. He spent the last year erratically nursing. Some nights, some naps, some tantrums, some ouchies, rarely in public. Sometimes he would go days between his nene sessions.
~Nicole Doula Mama to D ('04), A ('06) and bebe EV ('13)
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