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Old 07-09-2013, 05:21 AM   #21
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Re: Do you hang out with people you dont "love" because your kids like their kids?

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Originally Posted by sisu View Post
I could hang out with someone I didn't totally click with if our kids got along well, but not someone I actively disliked or disrespected.
Pretty much this. I generally try not to, because I think it is rude to the mom. I don't want her to feel that we are friends if I'm secretly trying to find an excuse to get away from her. That's pretty awful IMO. But if it's truly just an acquaintance situation where we are both cordial and feel similarly, and the kids are good friends (as in, my kids always ask about playing with them), then I'll go for it. We know a couple of people like that.

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Old 07-11-2013, 09:27 PM   #22
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Re: Do you hang out with people you dont "love" because your kids like their kids?

I would, assuming they had the same family values as us, and the kids were well-behaved. I wouldn't pursue the friendship and I would encourage the mom to 'drop the kids off and you can go out and enjoy yourself!', that kind of thing. But I would make a small effort to get along with them even if I don't like them.
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Old 07-11-2013, 09:30 PM   #23
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Re: Do you hang out with people you dont "love" because your kids like their kids?

No.

But I don't mind if our kids play together as long as the child is well behaved (I'm talking school-age children, not toddlers). I will meet the parents first before scheduling playdates but I'm never expecting us to be friends. I think when my kids were younger I hoped to hit it off with other moms but now I know better so I am happy to have some space and don't mind letting the kids play.

There is one mom in our neighborhood who I really clash with, but her 6th grade son is a nice kid, so I let my boys go over there but only if they play outside (I don't allow them inside because I don't trust the mom and her boyfriend) and I send them with a walkie-talkie so my boys check in with me. The mom thinks the walkie talkie thing is fine (her son has a cell phone so same difference)

I've found it's been good for my children to have this freedom since it allows them to get a glimpse of other parenting styles/different family structures that they wouldn't get if all their friends came from my friends (who tend to have more similar interests, etc). So we've been able to have some good non-judge-mental discussions about these differences and they have a greater variety of friends so win-win

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Old 07-15-2013, 08:01 AM   #24
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Re: Do you hang out with people you dont "love" because your kids like their kids?

I do. There aren't a lot of kids around my community. So there is a mom that I like but don't like at the same time. I can put up with it for a while. I don't really enjoy her kids either, but my son adores them.

I would like it if we could go to the park and the kids would play. But her kids end up just hanging on her and whining. They are professionals. That's generally when I call it a day. I HATE whining.
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Old 07-15-2013, 08:25 AM   #25
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No, my kids aren't old enough to have preferences and I basically make the play dates with moms I like. When they are old enough to make friends on their own I won't need to escort them to play dates so as long as the parents weren't dangerous (smoking, drinking, swearing) I would still let the kids be friends.
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