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Old 07-08-2013, 03:17 PM   #1
abrooks521
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cosleeping support- 8 month old

my beautiful, smiley DS will be 8 months in a little over a week. We started cosleeping full time at about 4 months after various efforts at "sleep" training. (I learned very quickly that i simply could not let him cry at all). Cosleeping has been great for us. I love the extra cuddles and get to wake up to a smiley baby in the morning.
However, I'm getting nervous as he gets older. Naptimes and bedtime are getting to be epic battles. Not falling asleep nursing, rolling around trying to get away until it turns into him crying and me simply laying beside him. This has gotten so bad, that I decided to try putting him in his crib again for naptime today. I tried a pick up put down method. Letting him lay until getting upset and then picking up and trying to soothe and then putting him back down. This went on for about a half hour before I realized again why I ended up cosleeping. It's just too stressful for both of us. After reaching the screaming point with me not being able to soothe, I brought him back to my bed and nursed him to sleep.

I'm looking for positive cosleeping stories, reassurance, and any secrets you might have as cosleeping gets a bit more difficult. :/
thank you!

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Old 07-08-2013, 03:36 PM   #2
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Re: cosleeping support- 8 month old

Hi! I'm cosleeping with my 7 month old. I coslept with her brother until he was 13 months, at which point he went right into a (mattress on the floor style) bed.

I think cosleeping is GREAT as long as its working for everyone involved. Sounds like you're hitting a bit of a snag but I think you'll find what works again. As far as bedtime/nap battles, do you have a routine? Is his schedule loosely predictable? For example, my 7 month old is ready for a nap about every 3 hours. Earlier than that and it turns into a battle I can't win. Bedtime is usually four hours or so after her last nap. Routine is the key point. She needs the cues that its time to sleep. Now, sometimes I take her up and she's clearly not getting drowsy. In these cases, I just take her back down for an hour or so and try again. It's working alright so far!

I actually recently stopped always nursing to sleep. I did it by moving her naps into her bedroom. She hasn't got a crib but has the mattress on the floor bed (Ikea Kura bed) that DS shares. I nursed her to sleep as usual but slept in there with her instead of my bed for a week so she'd feel like that was a safe sleep spot. Then I started putting her down for a nap by sitting beside the bed and nursing her to almost asleep, then putting her down. She would freak. I would try soothing without picking up as long as she was fussing but picked back up if she started really crying. And repeat. Soothe down, with boob if necessary, put down not quite asleep. Honestly, the first few days it took easily over an hour to get her to settle to sleep but I never left her and that made it tolerable as I don't want to let her CIO. It sucks for a bit but a switch flipped and now we go up, she nurses to very drowsy, I pop her off and lay her down. She usually gives one good grouse and then goes to sleep. Maybe something like that would help?

I start her in there in the evening (she takes part in DS's bedtime routine) and bring her into my bed for the night when she wakes.

Hang in there! They love to throw you curve balls, don't they!
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Last edited by Mommy to Eli and Baby#2; 07-08-2013 at 03:44 PM.
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Old 07-08-2013, 04:16 PM   #3
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Whether or not to continue is up to you- either one could be the right thing for your family.

We've coslept for 22 months and are now weaning off of it. Pretty much from birth I laid down and nursed dd to sleep and back to sleep at night. I've enjoyed it and it has made parenting easier in many ways. DD was/is not a good sleeper and cosleeping and babywearing were lifesavers. However, I now wish that I had used a variety of different methods instead of depending so much on sleeping and cosleeping to get her to sleep because night weaning has been very difficult (you can read my story and method in the weaning support forum.) Difficult but worth it because since breaking the sleep-suck association she is sleeping much better, longer, and more independently.

Going from nursing and cosleeping (very high level of support) to going to sleep independently in the crib (very low level of support) might be too drastic of a change for your little guy. You can do it, but it won't be easy and will take several days and some distress on baby's part. You can use your Mom-ometer to decide if it is too much. Maybe you could try babywearing, rocking, walking, or singing first and then work towards more independence.

Other ideas to help when baby won't go right to sleep:

Experiment with nap and bedtime so that baby is sleepy when you are trying to get him down. Try scheduling sleep in 90 minute intervals after last wake-up (so 1.5, 3, 4.5, or 6 hrs after waking) amd see if it works for you. Start soothing 15 min or so before scheduled sleep time. You can also schedule 90 minutes after a cranky/tired spell as it may indicate a restarting of the sleep cycle.

If baby is not going to sleep and you are frustrated, get both of you up and try again in a while.

Offer baby potty if he is popping off or latch feels weird.

Use a simple, predictable bedtime routine.

Experiment with light level, white noise or music, temperature, etc. My dd does best in the dark but some like a nightlight.

Good Books:

The No Cry Sleep Solution
The 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program
Finding Balance With Attachment Parenting ebook:

http://godiaperfree.com/finding-bala...ent-parenting/

Last edited by mamaspice; 07-08-2013 at 04:20 PM.
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Old 07-08-2013, 07:45 PM   #4
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I feel you. I tried to get DS (10 months) to sleep in the crib for a nap (I was feeling similar frustrations), but after 45 minutes of hysterical crying (on his part) I gave in a brought him back to my bed to nurse to sleep.

I had my DH help me rearrange the furniture and we "sidecar-ed" the crib.

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Now I nurse DS almost to sleep, slide him over to the crib and rub his back while I sing softly to him. Some nights I don't sing at all or touch him because he is so close to sleep, other nights I am rubbing and singing for 30-35 minutes. If he keeps trying to sit or stand, we go play quietly with books on the floor until he seems ready. It took DS about a week to get used to it, but now he can usually give me about 8 hours at night before wanting to nurse/suckle/cuddle in the early morning. I still just cuddle with him during naps in our bed, but I feel better now that I am getting a good chunk of baby free sleep at night so I guess it bothers me less.
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Old 07-08-2013, 08:55 PM   #5
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BTDT, mama. What helped us tremendously was (is) babywearing. Fifteen minutes in a sling and DD either falls asleep outright or is much more docile to nurse to sleep. GL mama! Cosleeping is wonderful!
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Old 10-15-2013, 11:32 AM   #6
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Re: cosleeping support- 8 month old

Great thread! Has anyone tried a sleeper nest or curved changing pad in bed with them? I am trying to keep DS from rolling into the intention my body makes on the mattress so he can stay on his back.
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Old 10-15-2013, 12:18 PM   #7
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I co slept w/my first, & at 4 1/2 he still needs someone to fall asleep.
My second is 2 1/2 and we co slept as well. Now I lay him down and at night it takes him an hour and a half to unwind- no matter what time I out him down. I stay in w/him because if he screams it irritates his reflux... Then I move ds1 in with him & they share a queen on a box spring. It works well enough- though some nights ds2 wakes frequently & I wind up sleeping between them.
I also lay ds2 down for naps & sometimes nap with him . I have no clue what to do, because ds3 will arrive in feb!! O_o
Oh- and both boys nursed to sleep. Ds1 I weaned at 18 months due to pregnancy, and ds2 was 22 months.
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Old 10-15-2013, 12:20 PM   #8
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Re: cosleeping support- 8 month old

We have coslept with each LO. Each decided when it was time to wean. I have to lay down with my LOs or they wioll simply crawl out of the bed or fall off. I have the crib side carred to my side of the bed. I always nurse to sleep in my lap and then go lay down with mine. My 18 month old still naps on me.
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Old 10-16-2013, 05:36 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phoebecloth
Great thread! Has anyone tried a sleeper nest or curved changing pad in bed with them? I am trying to keep DS from rolling into the intention my body makes on the mattress so he can stay on his back.
I think a firmer mattress would help you, based on my experience with that same problem. It IS okay if they don't stay on their back, but you don't want them rolling down a hill so big into your body so that they can't roll away.
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