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Old 07-08-2013, 04:05 PM   #1
greenasgrass
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When the (home) daycare's rules conflict with yours...

We are a no-gun home. I do not support DS playing with toy guns of any kind.

The last week or so, while he's playing, he has said things like "we're gotta kill him" and "we gotta shoot him" - and I've nearly come undone. He's TWO. I asked him where he played with guns, he told me "at C******'s." She is our home daycare provider.

In general, we mesh very well. She is also a Christian, positive family. She also doesn't allow guns, apart from play water guns, as far as I know. I think maybe they are playing with these, but in a way I consider inappropriate. I don't mind water toys, but what's going on is too extreme.

I need to speak up, because having a two-year-old talk about killing anyone or anything (imaginary play or not) is just out of the question, not to mention EXTREMELY bothersome to me.

How would you bring this up?

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Old 07-08-2013, 04:09 PM   #2
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Re: When the (home) daycare's rules conflict with yours...

My girls learned "I'm going to kill you!" from Alvin and the chipmunks.

They learn it all eventually, nows a good a time as any to teach them what you want them to know.
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Old 07-08-2013, 04:12 PM   #3
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Re: When the (home) daycare's rules conflict with yours...

you could ask her, but dont come at it accusatory like she is responsible, I agree with the PP, kids learn these things on their own and will often observe or just repeat what others are saying.
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Old 07-08-2013, 04:13 PM   #4
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Re: When the (home) daycare's rules conflict with yours...

IME, it's not that she has guns it's that some kids, will turn ANYTHING into a gun. One of the other kids probably has an older sibling and plays like that.

Personally, with things where I don't necessarily want them doing something they do at daycare, that I tell them we don't play like that at home and leave it at that. Rules can be different in different places.
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Old 07-08-2013, 04:43 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by isabelsmummy View Post
IME, it's not that she has guns it's that some kids, will turn ANYTHING into a gun. One of the other kids probably has an older sibling and plays like that.
I agree. Guns/gun play aren't allowed at our daycare but they can't be everywhere every second, and my DD2 (2.5) turns anything into a gun, points it at me, says "pachoo pachoo! I'm shooting!" We just gently correct and go on with our lives. But if it really bothers you OP ask about it!
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Old 07-08-2013, 05:10 PM   #6
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Re: When the (home) daycare's rules conflict with yours...

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Originally Posted by isabelsmummy View Post
IME, it's not that she has guns it's that some kids, will turn ANYTHING into a gun. One of the other kids probably has an older sibling and plays like that.

Personally, with things where I don't necessarily want them doing something they do at daycare, that I tell them we don't play like that at home and leave it at that. Rules can be different in different places.

I agree. I certainly wouldn't blame the provider. Unless she has only her own kids at home with her, your son is being exposed to everyone and their family life...not just the daycare's family life.

I have daycare kids who say "Butt", and kids who's familes don't allow the word at home. It's up to the parents to instill their own values in their children, and sometimes it's more work than you were ready for. But, it's just a reality of life outside your own home. You don't have control over everybody.
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Old 07-08-2013, 05:42 PM   #7
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Re: When the (home) daycare's rules conflict with yours...

Her kids are home with her - all three of them. DS is close with the middle one and he's quite a bit older. I'm not sure where else he may have learned it - but you're right, I suppose anything is possible. After seeing the replies, it could be his dad's life/home environment (he lacks a lot in the intelligence department) or his favorite movie (Toy Story).
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Old 07-08-2013, 05:59 PM   #8
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You just correct your son. Kids do this, they will pick up things that make you cringe (or embarrassed depending on where you are ). The other kid(s) could have heard it from a movie, another kid at a park, video game, book, older sibling etc. Many things influence kids
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Old 07-08-2013, 06:02 PM   #9
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I tried so hard to shelter ds from this. But he learned it at the park. And started turning sticks, remotes, or anything else in that shape into a "gun"I think it's up to us parents to explain correct behavior and enforce it at home. And I honestly (personally) believe its just in little boy genes to want to hunt. In our home we only pretend to" kill" animals for food

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Old 07-08-2013, 06:51 PM   #10
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Don't beat around the bush. Just say your ds came home saying these phrases, and you're not a fan of it. If there's a movie or show he got it from maybe the older kids could watch that show/ type of stuff while he's napping, since you prefer he not be exposed to that kind of stuff.

No reason to feel bad about bringing it up/ wanting to talk to her about it imo
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