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Old 08-27-2013, 07:57 AM   #1
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Unhappy Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

What do I do?
How long did this last for you lo?

Ds had this problem in preschool... He didn't finish his table work in the allotted time and had to stay at the table while the other kids went to the play area on the other side of the room... I think he was embarrassed because he suddenly didn't want anyone to look at him and hid behind me when we got to school. He started becoming increasingly upset/hysterical every morning and I eventually took him out. We took a break for a month and then I enrolled him in a mothers day out program, which didn't have as much table work. He's super smart but has trouble focusing. Anyway.. he passed out at school yesterday and I had to pick him up early. It's never happened before but I have a fainting disorder (got it from my mother) so he may have it too. He didn't seem too upset by it though. This morning went fine, he goes and sits down at his table and I'm peaking at him from the door. He has his head down and looks upset, then starts crying. He comes and hugs me and I try to reassure him but he gets more upset, he wants to go home, etc. The teacher tells me to just leave... I know this is typical... She has another teacher come from across the hall, it seems like this woman's job is too handle the crying kids, haha! Ds becomes hysterical as they drag him into another room, screaming that he wants his mom. I know they want parents to leave so they can calm the kids down quickly but I fear this will traumatize him and he'll have anxiety every time I take him to school. So, what do/did y'all do? Tell me it gets better! I'm worried it will be the same as preschool and I'll have to take him out and home school him.

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Old 08-27-2013, 08:04 AM   #2
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If you drop him off and he goes to his table, then just go. Hanging around let's them see you and gives them a chance to get worked up. They generally calm down about 2.2 seconds after parents leave.

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Old 08-27-2013, 08:12 AM   #3
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

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If you drop him off and he goes to his table, then just go. Hanging around let's them see you and gives them a chance to get worked up. They generally calm down about 2.2 seconds after parents leave.

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Yup. It is very rare that a kid doesn't adjust after a couple of weeks. It usually takes longer the less the child has been exposed to a school setting because it is new the them.

If you don't make a big deal out of it he will adjust faster.
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:12 AM   #4
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

As hard as it is to see them upset you should leave. Kiss and go, it really is best for everyone. He'll settle down soon when he gets into routine and finds a buddy.
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:15 AM   #5
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

I don't understand the preschool thing - our older 3 kids went to preschool and never had to finish their table work stuff, like crafts or letters, before going to play. They were given time to work on it, some chose to take longer than others, and then able to tidy up and go play (or whatever was next) when they were ready to. Of course, if they didn't want to do the activity at all they were encouraged to try, to do some of it, but never made to finish it.

I wonder if it's because of the fainting spell, that it scared him and he doesn't want it to happen again, even if he didn't seem scared at the time, kwim? Maybe he was worried that the other kids would tease him or say something about what happened? Or I wonder if there's some other reason, something else happening at school, that he doesn't like?
I could see it bothering him, because of the crap at preschool, that he needs to finish his work at school before going to play or whatnot - I expect that at elementary school, just not preschool.

And chances are good that they do have a teacher whose job it is to deal with crying My MIL is a resource teacher and she is the one to deal with kids who are upset or disrupting their classroom, the ones who need to get away or have a few minutes to calm down. It's just so that the class teacher can continue with the rest of the kids instead of everyone having to stop and wait for the one kid.
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Old 08-27-2013, 11:13 AM   #6
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

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Originally Posted by ouchienurse View Post
If you drop him off and he goes to his table, then just go. Hanging around let's them see you and gives them a chance to get worked up. They generally calm down about 2.2 seconds after parents leave.

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I agree with this. I find it is always best to say a cheerful goodbye and then leave. If the classroom has a one way window that you can watch through, that's okay. But, it i usually best to not stay or observe the from where you can be seen. Honestly, even if your LO was okay, it is still a bad idea because the other children can get worked up as well.
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Old 08-27-2013, 11:17 AM   #7
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

We cant even see kids to their classrooms where I live. They go on the bus or get dropped off at the door. Its probably making it worse for him to see you hanging around. Can you just drop him off? The really do adjust easier than the moms do.
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Old 08-27-2013, 11:23 AM   #8
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Yes do not hang around. That just makes him think that it's okay to act that way because mommy will save me.

We don't let parents come in to the room. They get dropped off in the gym in the morning and then the teachers come and pick them up.

When I taught kindergarten I really discouraged parents from coming in to the room in the morning. I had one parent that would carry her child into the room hang her backpack up for her and carry her to the carpet! Not good.

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Old 08-27-2013, 11:34 AM   #9
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I would drop and go also. It will be much easier for him. Just reassure him ahead of time that you will be there to pick him up.
It took my oldest 2 weeks to settle into school when he started preschool. Then he loved it.
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Old 08-27-2013, 11:37 AM   #10
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

This exactly. I've taught k and generally the first week is a little rough but it gets better! If it cont to be an issue, the teacher will talk w u.

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If you drop him off and he goes to his table, then just go. Hanging around let's them see you and gives them a chance to get worked up. They generally calm down about 2.2 seconds after parents leave.

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