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Old 08-27-2013, 11:39 AM   #11
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this was my ds1. He was SO upset about being left at school and cried for hours everyday, for weeks. He had a wonderfully patient teacher and we communicated daily and many times she'd call me back up and Id stay, at her approval and encouragement.

We started seeing a therapist because DS has always been super emotionally attached to me and it was becoming a hindrance. I literally could leave him nowhere, not even with Dh. His upset started manifesting physically and caused him bowel issues that were very painful. He missed three consecutive weeks of kindergarten while we worked through some things. The day he went back was tearful but it was much better. Each day was less and less tears. Now he is an independent 5th grader!

His therapist was very wonderful and has interesting insight. He was actually writing a thesis on the extreme attachment of breastfed preemies with their mothers. In his experience, this was very common. He felt it tended to happen because when a preemie is born early, they're weeks from being mature and not really supposed to be separated from mothers body yet. Separating early can be traumatic for some and then breastfeeding is the 'connective tissue' in the equation.

I don't know if you me son is a preemie, but I do think it will pass. Set up a conference with the teacher and make a goal. Explain what you'd like do to help your son, and ask what she thinks is appropriate. Some kids need more support than the drop and walk and let teachers deal with them. Many do fine with it but some would do worse. Only you know what his needs are.

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Old 08-27-2013, 01:09 PM   #12
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

Yes, please just drop and go. Say a cheery "HAVE FUN!... I'll see you in a few hours!" smile genuinely, and go with confidence.

(By the way, I think having mandatory table work in preschool is a bad idea.)
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Old 08-27-2013, 01:57 PM   #13
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

Hang in there! dont be so hasty to throw in the towel and homeschool forever. not that homeschooling is a bad idea but in thisc case, I think it is too soon to label him with anxiety or something. its normal for little kids to struggle at school drop offs. I dont think peeking in on him or hovering is good at all. I am sensing that your fear of a repeat of the preschool year is really holding you both back from progression in kinder. show him that YOU know he can do it! and everything will be just fine. the worst thing you can do is be visibly shaken and worrying verbally and showing him that you dont think he can do it.
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Old 08-27-2013, 03:51 PM   #14
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

Unfortunately, this is a time when you're going to have to push him out of the nest a bit, figuratively speaking.

Drop and go. Be upbeat and don't let him see an ounce of concern on your face. Let him learn how to deal with it.


One of the books the principal recommended for first-timers was "The Kissing Hand" Maybe pick that up to read before bedtime?
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Old 08-27-2013, 05:19 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NotLad
Unfortunately, this is a time when you're going to have to push him out of the nest a bit, figuratively speaking.

Drop and go. Be upbeat and don't let him see an ounce of concern on your face. Let him learn how to deal with it.
Yup. Is the bus an option? Then the drop is at home and it is out of his system before getting to school.
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Old 08-27-2013, 07:09 PM   #16
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

First off, *HUGS* This really is a big transition, but it is also a very important one!!!!
NotLad summed it up perfectly -
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Originally Posted by NotLad View Post
Unfortunately, this is a time when you're going to have to push him out of the nest a bit, figuratively speaking.
Growing up is all about learning new things, and this is just another new thing he needs to learn - that school is OK, and that it is OK to be away from mommy. It is a hard lesson, but a very important one. It does get better, I'm a kindergarten teacher as well and every year I have 1 or 2 kids that struggle a bit more with it. But in all my years, by the end of the first month every single one of them (but 1 special case) has adapted and is a perfectly happy well adjusted member of the classroom community. Most it takes about 2 weeks, a few 3 weeks, and very few take that whole month. Expect some tears and some fights, but really honestly 90% of the time as soon as the parent is gone the kid knows that it's not worth fighting for, and they just calm down!

P.S. my school we also have a lady (an assistant teacher) that we call in if a student is really upset to help them calm down. It is so that I can continue to focus on the other 24 students in my class, and honestly she ROCKS at calming kids down!!!!
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Old 08-27-2013, 07:24 PM   #17
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He calmed himself down. He told the teacher "I'm done now" when he stopped crying, haha! Today was his second day so quicker than yesterday. I only lingered because I saw his forlorn look, he didn't see me though. I still don't know why he was so sad at his table. He's a strange child and will freak about things with no explanation. I'm really hoping tomorrow goes better. He started preschool 1.5 yrs ago so I feel like this shouldn't be such an issue anymore.

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Old 08-27-2013, 11:00 PM   #18
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It's a new year with a new teacher and new kids. It's a bit intimidating. DD is generally super independent but if it is something unknown it can take her a minute. She had a little trouble the first day. I reminded her how much she loves school and meeting new kids, she thought about getting upset, I gave her a jig and kiss and to have a wonderful day. She was still apprehensive but is fine this week. She even told me to hair take her to the front of the school yesterday. I said sure (knowing she's never do it, lol). We got to the door and said "mommy, I think you better walk me to class"
All that to say give him a little time and make sure he knows your ok with it too. He'll be fine :-)

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Old 08-27-2013, 11:13 PM   #19
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Dd is in 1st grade this year,same school as last uear, most of the same kids. You would think she would be adjusted, but she's taking a little while to come around this year. She often says she doesn't want to go to school cause she misses me, but when i ask of she had a good day, she always says it was great. I think that over the summer, little kids forget. It's a long time for them and staying home has become the norm, as opposed to the school routine each day. Give it time, he will adjust
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Old 08-29-2013, 07:23 AM   #20
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It's getting worse.

Tuesday he started crying after sitting at his table, Wednesday it started before we walked into school, today it started before we left the house. I had to drag him across the street and through the school while he screamed. Not easy while carrying the baby/car seat, his back pack and lunch box! The physical aspect is scaring me. I have to pass him off to a teacher and he struggles, I'm worried he's going to lash out. I don't know what to do.

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