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Old 08-29-2013, 07:27 AM   #21
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

Just keep doing it mama! He will get better but will test you and every boundary until he does. Can you call the office and have them check on him and call you back? The guidance counselor at our school will do this for anyone who asks.

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Old 08-29-2013, 07:31 AM   #22
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

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It's getting worse.

Tuesday he started crying after sitting at his table, Wednesday it started before we walked into school, today it started before we left the house. I had to drag him across the street and through the school while he screamed. Not easy while carrying the baby/car seat, his back pack and lunch box! The physical aspect is scaring me. I have to pass him off to a teacher and he struggles, I'm worried he's going to lash out. I don't know what to do.

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What happens when he cries? Does he come home with you at that point? If he stays, how long does it take him to calm down? What is his impression of school after the fact? What sorts of things help him get/stay calm or motivate him?
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Old 08-29-2013, 07:35 AM   #23
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His teacher says he calms down quickly after I leave. When I pick him up he says he had fun. I don't know why he's doing this, other than he knows he has to stay and that freaks him out. He's a mama's boy to the extreme.

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Old 08-29-2013, 07:50 AM   #24
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

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His teacher says he calms down quickly after I leave. When I pick him up he says he had fun. I don't know why he's doing this, other than he knows he has to stay and that freaks him out. He's a mama's boy to the extreme.

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That's wonderful news! He seems to do okay once he gets there, but the transition is a struggle for him. Are there any 5th grade helpers or the like that could meet him at the door and head down with you- someone he looks up to? Maybe someone to push a stroller while you hold his hand and spend a bit of time with him on the walk to the classroom?

I'd suggest acknowledge, encourage, reassure, leave. Acknowledge he is having a hard time (such an important step, and yet I miss this with my own kids sometimes!), encourage with what he might look forward to, reassure that you'll be back to pick him up at such-and-such time, and leave.
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Old 08-29-2013, 10:00 AM   #25
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

I think he's just testing you, seeing if he can get out of staying by trying different things. Especially since he's having fun in the end at school and calming down once you're away.
I agree with the pp - acknowledge that he's upset and having a hard time, but still go through with everything. Drop him off, say "have a great day, see you after school!" cheerily, and leave.
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Old 08-29-2013, 12:34 PM   #26
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The child has been testing me since birth! I feel like a total failure as a parent. He's come home with notes yesterday and today... Not following directions, not doing his table work, telling the teacher no, hitting other kids(playfully)... but still. I don't know what to do with him. I don't want to medicate him but he may need it. He likely has ADHD. I had hoped we'd be able to manage it with consistent discipline, practice on focusing, etc. but he's been uncontrollable/had behavior problems for 2 years. :'(

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Old 08-29-2013, 01:19 PM   #27
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

I may be the odd one out but if it were me I wouldn't force him to go. I recently read a book called Better Late Than Early (can't remember the author) that talks about how young children (especially boys) are just not emotionally ready for a school environment until closer to 8. It used to be that schools didn't start attendance until around that age and its gradually gotten earlier and earlier and we've added in pre-k. I think there is so much he can learn at home just being with you and going through a daily routine and there will be time enough for school and table work later.
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Old 08-29-2013, 01:51 PM   #28
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I worry about him struggling even more if I hold him back. He is so smart. I struggled in elementary school until they gave me an iq test and put me in gifted classes. I was bored and didn't want to do my work. I don't want the same thing happening to him, although it's probably already happening, I don't want it to get worse ya know?

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Old 08-29-2013, 02:02 PM   #29
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Re: Kindergartener doesn't want to stay in school.

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The child has been testing me since birth! I feel like a total failure as a parent. He's come home with notes yesterday and today... Not following directions, not doing his table work, telling the teacher no, hitting other kids(playfully)... but still. I don't know what to do with him. I don't want to medicate him but he may need it. He likely has ADHD. I had hoped we'd be able to manage it with consistent discipline, practice on focusing, etc. but he's been uncontrollable/had behavior problems for 2 years. :'(

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Does the teacher have any ideas for this? It seems like there needs to be a partnership here to find out what's best for your son. There are a lot of in-class modifications she can be doing, but she may not know about his history.

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Old 08-29-2013, 02:34 PM   #30
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She said she'll keep being consistent with the punishment. And that she has a lot of kids this year. I think all the K classes are above capacity. So I'm interpreting that as: she doesn't have time to give him extra attention. I've called a children's mental health office to make an appt. for an assessment. I really want him to stay in school, I've already taught him so much, he's over prepared for kindergarten. He took a school readiness test almost a year ago and passed the highest level of difficulty with flying colors. But I can't give him the experience of being in a class setting and learning the social skills to be successful in school.

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