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Old 09-02-2013, 12:05 PM   #1
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How do you handle the sassiness and defiance?

Dd is 5.5 and she's sassy. Most of it is just things she's heard at school but it drives me nuts. She also doesn't listen though some of it is that my words just don't register right away, and some of it is actual defiance.
I don't want to scold her, I'd be doing it all day long!

How do you handle it? What do you do to correct this behavior?
Thanks!

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Old 09-02-2013, 12:46 PM   #2
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Re: How do you handle the sassiest and defiance?

Beatings

totally j/k

I have no idea. Because sass makes me want to administer beatings, so I just ignore it to prevent those mean feelings.
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Old 09-02-2013, 01:06 PM   #3
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Beatings

totally j/k

I have no idea. Because sass makes me want to administer beatings, so I just ignore it to prevent those mean feelings.
Lol. But how do you ignore it? Drive me nuts!
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Old 09-02-2013, 01:10 PM   #4
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Re: How do you handle the sassiest and defiance?

I give the ...look.... And start counting in my adult voice... I don't think I have ever gotten to 3.... She usually snaps out of it at 2.... Lol
Mostly we yank her up and set her in her room or outside or in a corner and discuss she is not being nice and she has to stay there until SHE decides to come apologize
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Old 09-02-2013, 01:16 PM   #5
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Being sassed would trigger bad parent actions from me too. Whenever something makes me feel that way I can't ignore it, because then the anger builds and boils over eventually. Can you come up with a short, immediate response that she will get? Like, "your voice and words are not kind, please take a moment to find your respectful attitude." Then anything after that would be a repeat with escalating time outs, "you can find a respectful attitude in your room then." Or "the TV is going off until you have found your respectful attitude." I think the key is having the same go to phrase every time so you aren't struggling to explain over and over what you want from her. If she asks for clarification that's fine, but after the first couple times she will know what you're asking of her and you can shorten it to "I think you lost something, do you need to find it in your room?"

I'm mean like that though.
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Old 09-02-2013, 01:29 PM   #6
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If she is doing it that often she needs to be punished IMO until she changes her tone.

In our house it would mean no privileges like ipad or TV time. No toys. They would be able to read though. I would be sure to model the correct tone when speaking and respectful words.
I would give examples of what is expected.

But they wouldn't have any extras until their attitude changed.

I would give a final warning then implement the punishment. 5 is old enough to understand that you don't talk back or use nasty tone/words with your parents.
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Old 09-02-2013, 01:39 PM   #7
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Re: How do you handle the sassiest and defiance?

Dealing with this (also screaming and whining every time he is asking to do anything) with my 6 yr old. It is driving me nuts! It's starting to rub off on the younger ones as well. He doesn't go to public school so I'm not sure where he is getting it (tv is very limited as well). We have been struggling with it for more than a year though. I will try some of the suggestions in this thread because so far nothing else is working very well. He isn't this way with other people, just at home.
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Old 09-02-2013, 02:06 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Palooka
Being sassed would trigger bad parent actions from me too. Whenever something makes me feel that way I can't ignore it, because then the anger builds and boils over eventually. Can you come up with a short, immediate response that she will get? Like, "your voice and words are not kind, please take a moment to find your respectful attitude." Then anything after that would be a repeat with escalating time outs, "you can find a respectful attitude in your room then." Or "the TV is going off until you have found your respectful attitude." I think the key is having the same go to phrase every time so you aren't struggling to explain over and over what you want from her. If she asks for clarification that's fine, but after the first couple times she will know what you're asking of her and you can shorten it to "I think you lost something, do you need to find it in your room?"

I'm mean like that though.
Love this advice.

I agree with ktmelodys point that discipline is necessary at a point. I might give the time to find a respectful attitude and if it continued, there would be a negative consequence filling swiftly.
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Old 09-02-2013, 02:35 PM   #9
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Re: How do you handle the sassiest and defiance?

I explain once that it's not nice, next time it's a time out...however many time outs it takes to correct the behavior. And lots of praise for the correct behavior....he usually decides he like that and gives up on being naughty.
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Old 09-02-2013, 02:36 PM   #10
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Re: How do you handle the sassiest and defiance?

I tell her that her attitude needs to improve very quickly. If she indicates that it's not going to she gets sent to her room. It accomplishes everything it needs to.
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