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Old 09-03-2013, 09:36 PM   #21
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Re: Interesting Study on Modern Parenting

The thing that grabbed my attention is the multiple caregivers. Its the one aspect of indigenous culture that did not make it into AP circles. I think the reason modern mamas burn out easily if they try to do all the AP stuff is because we are usually living alone in our homes apart from grandmas and aunties and cousins. And a lot of mamas don't even want to have others involved with their kids. Remember the thread about who never leaves their kids with others? I'm guilty. And also frequently overwhelmed.

Gives me something to think about as I prepare for this new baby. Thanks for sharing!

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Old 09-04-2013, 07:12 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by Silver)O(Moon
The thing that grabbed my attention is the multiple caregivers. Its the one aspect of indigenous culture that did not make it into AP circles. I think the reason modern mamas burn out easily if they try to do all the AP stuff is because we are usually living alone in our homes apart from grandmas and aunties and cousins. And a lot of mamas don't even want to have others involved with their kids. Remember the thread about who never leaves their kids with others? I'm guilty. And also frequently overwhelmed.

Gives me something to think about as I prepare for this new baby. Thanks for sharing!
Really agree with both the artical and the above statement.

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Old 09-04-2013, 07:16 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by JennTheMomma

You can, and it gets easier as they are older.

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Yup. I have six and I wear the baby pretty much all day. If I'm doing something where I can't wear or immediately get to the baby one of the other children holds them or helps with another child so I can get baby...and we aren't talking teenagers. Even my 7 year old can rock the baby on the couch long enough for me to hurry up and finish or get out the bathroom! Lol

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Old 09-04-2013, 08:57 AM   #24
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Re: Interesting Study on Modern Parenting

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Originally Posted by Silver)O(Moon View Post
The thing that grabbed my attention is the multiple caregivers. Its the one aspect of indigenous culture that did not make it into AP circles. I think the reason modern mamas burn out easily if they try to do all the AP stuff is because we are usually living alone in our homes apart from grandmas and aunties and cousins. And a lot of mamas don't even want to have others involved with their kids. Remember the thread about who never leaves their kids with others? I'm guilty. And also frequently overwhelmed.

Gives me something to think about as I prepare for this new baby. Thanks for sharing!
I dont think the artical was talking about leaving your baby in another house with family (grandma, aunts, ect...) -- I think it is talking more about having multiple care givers IN the babies home.

Our generation sends grandparents to nursing homes and aunts/uncles who are not married move out to live alone. I feel that the artical is talking more about how things used to be generations ago - like how the Amish do it. Single amish women/men live at home and help with younger children/babies - they do not move out and get an appartment. Grandparents are also taken care of until they die - not left alone in a nursing home.

I feel like leaving a baby at a differant home is no differant then placing them in a swing - they need to be home, with family caring for them. Dropping my 1.5 week old off at grandpas for the night would cause her stress. New smells, sounds, ect... Being born into a home with multiple care givers is differant.
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Old 09-04-2013, 09:23 AM   #25
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Re: Interesting Study on Modern Parenting

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I dont think the artical was talking about leaving your baby in another house with family (grandma, aunts, ect...) -- I think it is talking more about having multiple care givers IN the babies home.

Our generation sends grandparents to nursing homes and aunts/uncles who are not married move out to live alone. I feel that the artical is talking more about how things used to be generations ago - like how the Amish do it. Single amish women/men live at home and help with younger children/babies - they do not move out and get an appartment. Grandparents are also taken care of until they die - not left alone in a nursing home.

I feel like leaving a baby at a differant home is no differant then placing them in a swing - they need to be home, with family caring for them. Dropping my 1.5 week old off at grandpas for the night would cause her stress. New smells, sounds, ect... Being born into a home with multiple care givers is differant.
Yes, that was the point I was trying to make, that we don't have the family model in the US to do the multiple caregiver environment. I agree its not taking a baby to a babysitter. More like tribal living - everyone gathered together for communal meals and working side by side. In many cultures, if you are busy another woman could breastfeed your baby for you!

But I don't think that a baby in a swing is necessarily abandoned. Lots of these same tribes we are venerating as the perfect model of parenting use baby hammocks hanging from the roof of the hut to lull babies to sleep. My babies hate the swing, but I know it is a useful tool for some families, as long as its not totally overused to soothe a baby that really needs its needs met another way.

I think we who use our natural parenting instincts are probably replicating that primitive environment as best we can, and filling the gaps with some modern devices. We don't have a sister we can pass the baby off to breastfeed when we are super busy...so maybe we use a pacifier or an occasional bottle. We don't have grandma around to rock and swing the baby while we make dinner, so we may use artificial arms in the form of a bouncer or swing. I don't think that in and of itself is harmful to development when the baby overall is lovingly attended to.
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Old 09-04-2013, 11:28 AM   #26
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It does say a set of supportive caregivers beyond the mother alone- does this not include a father (or partner) within the home? My husband is fairly hands on with our babies, that has to mean something towards their emotional development.
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Old 09-05-2013, 08:37 PM   #27
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Re: Interesting Study on Modern Parenting

Good point, and perhaps older siblings? My teen boys are very interactive with our littles.
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Old 09-05-2013, 09:19 PM   #28
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Good point, and perhaps older siblings? My teen boys are very interactive with our littles.
Yeah My 14 year old is going away summer 2015 for boarding school, he just told the girls he's going to miss then when he's gone. His mission now is to teach baby how to walk lol he loves his sisters. His brother on the other hand...
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Old 09-05-2013, 09:25 PM   #29
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I was thinking it was more about having a trust relationship with multiple adults, like "the world is full of people who love and take care of me" as opposed to "only mommy (and sometimes daddy) are trustworthy" ?
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