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Old 09-03-2013, 12:10 PM   #1
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child who doesnt want to try

If something is hard or not "fun"- what do I do with her? We have had sooo many conversations about how sometimes we just need to do things that are hard or not as fun, but we do them because they are necessary (cleaning, dishes, picking up) and that applies to school work. I make it as much of it fun as I can, but lets face it, it's not all going to be games. She needs to learn to write her letters correctly, and she needs to learn to read. And it isn't that she isn't ready or can't sit still- if it is something she WANTS to do, she is perfectly fine, and she will sit and "write" all day, just not correctly. And she is perfectly capable of reading, she just doesn't want anything to be hard and the second it is, she refuses to try.

Any ideas?


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Old 09-03-2013, 04:16 PM   #2
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Re: child who doesnt want to try

Well, on the handwriting, my daughter didn't want to do any writing last year because it was too hard, and she was 6 years old at the time. I was pregnant at the time, and didn't want to fight, so we put the handwriting curriculum away for a while. After I had the baby, when she 6 and a half (actually closer to seven) I pulled out the curriculum again, and while she still isn't always enthused about it, she does it with little to no complaining now, and sometimes even asks to do it (though this only happens once in a while).
I think there was a developmental thing going on. Her fine motor skills weren't quite ready yet. And I have heard since then that most children aren't developmentally ready for handwriting until around 7 years old.
Reading might be similar. Many children aren't ready to read until they are older, though some are ready at four or five.
Perhaps, instead of forcing the issue on the two things she really hates, put it away for 4-6 months. Of course you should read to her a lot. And have her narrate back to you on a few things a week. Get books on things that she is interested in, on an easy level, and offer them to her to read. What got my son motivated to start trying to read was the incentive of batman books.
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Old 09-03-2013, 06:39 PM   #3
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Re: child who doesnt want to try

Although my sdd was anf is in public school, we dealt with this in Kindergarten and im really hoping it doesnt start this school year...
She wouldnt do anything if she didnt want to do it. So it didnt matter on the subject or who was helping her/having her do it. And it carried over into other tasks like getting dressed, or eating etc. Fortunately, since June she has been back on track with other tasks but with Reading about 40% of the time she doesnt want to read, even if we let her choose the time of day and book...its hard and our parenting style really doesnt allow giving in when we tell our kids they need to do something...

We have had some success with rewards programs/charts. Will that work?
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Old 09-03-2013, 07:00 PM   #4
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Re: child who doesnt want to try

This is the 5yo? I'd put everything away for a few months and pull it out later.

In the meantime, I'd play outside, follow her interests with books to read to her from the library, work on chores with her, etc.
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Old 09-03-2013, 08:01 PM   #5
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I wrote a very similar post recently, about my 5.5 year old and we decided to give my son a grade, INCLUDING a daily participation grade, if he whines once his participation drops to a b, twice to a c, etc. if he can manage all a's and b's for the year, he will earn something he has had his heart set on for months. He is very excited to be able to work for this item. Although we only recently implemented this, so I can't tell you if it will work long term, it might be worth a shot.

Also we made a deal that when something is "too hard" that he needs to continue trying for another 10 minuets, no matter where he is in that 10 minuets, he gets to move on.

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Old 09-04-2013, 10:34 AM   #6
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I have no experience teaching as I only have a toddler now, but I'd like to suggest making her assignments meaningful. Practicing handwriting in a workbook is boring & has no meaning or purpose other than practicing. She might be more receptive to proper handwriting if she wrote letters to grandmas, auntie, or an older cousin etc. Then tell her she has to write legible so whoever gets the letter can read it. This may motivate her to work hard at writing. It's also fun to go the the post office etc. And she can practice reading the letters she receives too! I would also tell whoever she sends to letter to, to write back & say they couldn't understand the letter & that she should work on her handwriting- if that is the case- that way it isn't coming from just you & she will understand that she has to write well so people are able to read what she writes.

You could also play restaurant & have her write up the menus etc. Or have her write out your grocery list.

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Old 09-05-2013, 04:54 PM   #7
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If my kids are having a really hard time getting through something we set it aside for a while. When ds was doing K we were having all kinds of power struggles over things, and I just realized, he's probably not going to benefit from this much if it's just a huge battle. Also, part of the reason we are homeschooling is so he can work on things when he's ready to. I figured the power struggle over writing was his way of telling me he wasn't ready for that much of it.
Now he's doing first and he does journal entries every so often, makes a ton of lists, and writes letters to family out of state. He doesn't mind it nearly as much now

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