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Old 09-19-2013, 08:48 PM   #11
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Re: Questions about homebirth

My SO was against home birth but he watched the business of being born and it changed his mind. Also, a couple studies have recently come out showing that home birth is as safe and maybe slightly safer for low risk women. There are many developed countries with much better maternal and infant mortality rates that also have much higher percentages of homebirth.

My midwife gave me stitches, easy peasy. She had lidocaine to numb me too.

You can search online and find a good list of comprehensive questions to ask you midwife. I would schedule a consult and bring your list. Just doing that might put your hubbys mind at ease. Have a couple backup midwife options if you don't vibe with the one you are hoping to use. Even if you end up with one who charges 3000 you will save a lot of money.

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Old 09-19-2013, 10:40 PM   #12
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Re: Questions about homebirth

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. My dh is science/statistics minded so I will need to look up numbers for him.

I'm right in the middle of pa, no birth center and a 3 hour drive (at least) to get out of state. I have short labors (last one was 3 or so hours). There are a couple options here. This lady is a former l&d rn but has also been a lay midwife her whole life working in the Mennonite community here. She charges much less than the lay midwife who caters primarily to the university community (she charges between 4-6k) but like I said, her primary clientele is university professors/staff that dislike the few options available at the hospital. Both of these midwives would tell me to birth in the hospital if I went into labor prior to37 weeks. I am 10-15 minutes from the hospital and have no problems transferring if I need to. I see the local ob group and I'm familiar with all of them, so no issues there either.
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Old 09-19-2013, 10:53 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by annb
First your fears...36 weeks is full term, and I'm sure any mw would deliver a 36 week baby. Stitches...most mw can do stitches. Your dh's fears...if something goes wrong, it is usually a process, not an immediate thing, and a trained mw will know if you need to get to the hospital. You can go at any time (before or after the birth), or call 911. That said, most birth problems are caused by too many interventions. Blood everywhere...hmmm...I suppose it's possible, it's probably less bloody than he thinks... but most mw's clean up everything after the birth, and put down lots of chux pads. Also, you may want to rent a birth tub and do a water birth, or if you have a large tub, use that. A mw can also look over your baby, and you can take it in to the pediatrician within the first week of birth. A MW will also usually carry oxygen if they baby is having trouble breathing. You should interview the MW w/ dh and ask all these questions! Good luck, I hope you are able to have the birth you envision!
Fwiw 36 weeks is not full term. It's generally considered late preterm and these baby's can have major feeding/jaundice issues. Also 911 responders are not generally good at resuscitating a newborn nor do they usually have the equipment and training to do so. Do not count on them being able to save your baby's life if itcomes to that point. Be careful in midwife choice. I have seen some horrific things though in my profession. Enough to scare the crap outta anyone.
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Old 09-20-2013, 05:14 AM   #14
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Re: Questions about homebirth

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Originally Posted by umphreysmommy View Post
Yes, I was going to recommend BoBB as well. My home birth midwives also won't deliver before 37 weeks at home.
same here.
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Old 09-20-2013, 07:20 AM   #15
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Re: Questions about homebirth

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Originally Posted by JasmineMama View Post
Thanks everyone for the suggestions. My dh is science/statistics minded so I will need to look up numbers for him.

I'm right in the middle of pa, no birth center and a 3 hour drive (at least) to get out of state. I have short labors (last one was 3 or so hours). There are a couple options here. This lady is a former l&d rn but has also been a lay midwife her whole life working in the Mennonite community here. She charges much less than the lay midwife who caters primarily to the university community (she charges between 4-6k) but like I said, her primary clientele is university professors/staff that dislike the few options available at the hospital. Both of these midwives would tell me to birth in the hospital if I went into labor prior to37 weeks. I am 10-15 minutes from the hospital and have no problems transferring if I need to. I see the local ob group and I'm familiar with all of them, so no issues there either.
My SIL is an RN/lay midwife who worked with the Mennonites and Amish in western PA and she only charged $500 because for her it was a ministry. She caught one of my babies, she wasn't my primary midwife but I was glad to have her there! Maybe make a list of question on how she would handle different things that might come up like decels, prolonged labor, high bp, PROM etc. My SIL is a good midwife but she is not authoritative enough for me, I want someone who will say "We need to leave now!" not "How do you feel, do you want to wait a bit longer?".
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Old 09-20-2013, 03:38 PM   #16
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Re: Questions about homebirth

In addition to the Buisness of Being Born, I'd actually set up an appointment with the midwife you're considering. That, in and of itself, sold my husband on it.
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Old 09-20-2013, 07:24 PM   #17
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In addition to the Buisness of Being Born, I'd actually set up an appointment with the midwife you're considering. That, in and of itself, sold my husband on it.
Yep, that's what sold my DH on it. We had 3 hospital births w no intervention, but felt I was pushing my luck, lol. A new birth center opened with my 4th, and we met with her and switched as fast as we could! So we had a birth center birth, got pregnant again, and found out halfway through there were twins! So, birth center was out as you can't have twins at a birth center in my state. We explored all options, and ended up with the most wonderful home birth ever . But meeting with the midwife made it possible. My DH went from no way are we having babies at home to of course we are having these babies at home. Both the birth center and home birth were sooooo much better than the hospital, and the prenatal care was as well. I <3 midwives!
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Old 09-22-2013, 09:23 AM   #18
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Re: Questions about homebirth

I agree that meeting with the midwife can be helpful. Sometimes hearing things from a third party in a position of "authority" carries much more weight than hearing the same things from your spouse.

Here midwives ask you to transfer to the hospital before 37 weeks (they continue to attend you there, they just won't do it at home). They clean up the mess before they leave and make you breakfast, you are usually given one bag of trash to toss and one bag of stuff (towels, receiving blankets, sheets) to put in the laundry and that's it. I also really liked that the midwife came back to do all the newborn checks at our house and it was all based around our needs and our schedule.

Re: convincing partner, what our midwife practice here does is they have a "home vs. hospital" info sessions every few months at their clinic. Keep in mind they do both home and hospital births so they are able to tell you how they differ, even with the same provider. One of the things that DH found very comforting is that they show you the bag of stuff they bring to each homebirth - oxygen tank, warming pad for baby, all of the emergency supplies, and they talk about all the medication they have available. They also discussed what conditions they would transfer to the hospital (both the "let's think about going to the hospital" and "we're leaving NOW!" cases). That can be comforting too, because it tells you that they're not just going to keep you at home no matter what. And in the case of a midwife who is not practicing legally I would want to have that conversation - in what situation would she recommend you transfer (and does that go with what you would like to do) and what exactly happens if you do (will she come with, will you have prenatal records, etc).
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Old 09-23-2013, 04:50 PM   #19
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Re: Questions about homebirth

I just want to say that the meeting with midwife, info from the Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth (DH doesn't read much so I shared the parts I found really interesting/compelling), and watching The Business of Being Born all helped bring DH around.

He really liked knowing the midwife carried supplies for supporting baby if needed and knowing what she would do in transfer situations and how she would handle that. Also knowing that the time it takes for transfer (about 20 minutes for us), the hospital would take just as much time to set up in the event of a stat C-section even if we were right there (and the C-section room at our hospital is literally right in the OB department and across the hall from the L&D rooms), so there really would not be a lot of difference even if a totally unexpected emergency came up at home. Besides the fact that most complications are seen before they become emergencies in which case we would be at the hospital long before such drastic measures were taken.

I'll look through my stack of articles and see if there is anything really good in there for homebirth vs hospital, but a lot of the info I've found has been stated in the above book & movie, Dr Marsden's book Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First, and Jennifer Block's Pushed. You can also check out Ina May's books (Spiritual Midwifery can get a little crunchy, but Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is more updated & has a lot of great experiences).
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Old 09-23-2013, 06:27 PM   #20
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Re: Questions about homebirth

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Originally Posted by JasmineMama View Post
Thanks everyone for the suggestions. My dh is science/statistics minded so I will need to look up numbers for him.

I'm right in the middle of pa, no birth center and a 3 hour drive (at least) to get out of state. I have short labors (last one was 3 or so hours). There are a couple options here. This lady is a former l&d rn but has also been a lay midwife her whole life working in the Mennonite community here. She charges much less than the lay midwife who caters primarily to the university community (she charges between 4-6k) but like I said, her primary clientele is university professors/staff that dislike the few options available at the hospital. Both of these midwives would tell me to birth in the hospital if I went into labor prior to37 weeks. I am 10-15 minutes from the hospital and have no problems transferring if I need to. I see the local ob group and I'm familiar with all of them, so no issues there either.
Do you mind PMing me the midwives names and your county. I might have some other suggestions for you, since we are fairly close and I have been involved in the birth community for a while
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