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Old 10-27-2013, 09:06 PM   #1
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Anyone have a child who is sneaky?

My just turned 6 year old always has been. I mean like sneaking candy if we had it in the house. Or sneaking pop in the garage, that kind of stuff. Tonight he told us he at bedtime he needed to get a stuffed animal he thought was in the garage. He came in and forgot to shut the door so he had to come back and we could tell he was being sneaky. He had put these ninja turtle nun chucks in his pants like bottom of the leg. :/. He wanted to take them to bed and we said no. Besides being sneaky he lied there too, so he doesn't get them tomorrow for Boo at the Zoo. The sneaking food stuff though....his older 8 year old brother isn't sneaky but will sometimes partake in eating or drinking whatever he snuck. I just don't know why he is doing this or what we can be doing to stop it.

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Old 10-27-2013, 09:17 PM   #2
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I don't know - what kind of access does he have to candy and pop?

Might work just to be a bit more lenient so he doesn't feel like that's the only way to get things?

My sister snuck pretty much everything we weren't allowed to have/do. My parents were very strict.
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Old 10-27-2013, 09:59 PM   #3
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Re: Anyone have a child who is sneaky?

I was like that as a kid I think my parents could have nipped it in the bud if they had been more consistent with consequences. Also, as pp mentioned, I think it helps a lot if you don't make it seem like certain things are forbidden. That just makes those things more attractive. Of course you have to set limits, but I think it's more about how you present it. I have to make a real effort to pick my battles with dd, because sometimes I find myself saying no, or adding unnecessary conditions to her requests, for no real reason. The more emphasis you place on not being allowed to have something, for whatever reason, the more desirable that thing becomes.
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Old 10-27-2013, 10:43 PM   #4
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Re: Anyone have a child who is sneaky?

I have a sneaky 7 year old. He always has been. It's everything though. Not just soda, candy and treats. He will try to sneak toys to school. He will go in my closet and rifle through my stuff. If I ask him what he was doing in there he will say "I was just looking" I have a drawer up high where I keep sharpies and paints, the kind of stuff I can't let the kids have free reign over. He will go in it and get the stuff out and hide in the bathroom to use it.

He has zero limits or self control. I went to get my check from work on Friday. I saw a co worker (obviously lol) getting his check the same time. He lives close to us so I asked if he would drive us home to save the long bus ride. My boy is in the back seat going through the guys stuff in that built in pocket on the back of carseats.

He has started taking little things. A few months ago he took some tiny toys from the thrift store. When I asked him why he said it's because he doesn't have many toys and he knew I didn't have enough money to buy him any.

I totally hijacked your thread. Sorry but this kind of hit home for me. I will definitely be checking back into this thread for ideas.
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Old 10-27-2013, 10:49 PM   #5
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Re: Anyone have a child who is sneaky?

My 7yr old is sneaky. He has been for a long time. I have yet to decide if it is a spectrum thing for him or something else.
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Old 10-27-2013, 10:57 PM   #6
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Re: Anyone have a child who is sneaky?

My almost 6 year old is our sneaky one. We had a halloween party with some friends about a week ago. He finished all his candy so he snuck all of the 7 year olds candy. He has also been known to sneak toys, candy, and large dirt covered rocks from the backyard into his room. He is also my climber so putting things higher doesn't help. About a year ago I made some really rich dark chocolate brownies for a birthday party. We each had one little piece and then put them away in the top of the cupboard. I came out the next morning and he had climbed up and got them. The two younger boys had eaten the entire rest of them, about 8-10 pieces together.
No real advice. In our case he will be giving half of his trick or treating candy to the brother he stole candy from and I will be putting all the candy but the 5 year old's candy in my room so he can't get to it.
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Old 10-27-2013, 11:20 PM   #7
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Yeah he is always up to something, it isn't just food either. As he gets older he isn't as bad as far as getting into everything. His 2 1/2 year old sister appears to be taking after him in the getting into EVERYTHING part lol. He is a climber too like someone else said. He doesn't necessarily steal things that I know of, but I am watching for that. Heck he could be though and I don't know, but haven't seen it myself yet. We try to talk a lot about being honest, when I find pop cans in the corner or wrappers under my bed....now he and if his brother is part of it will admit to it.

Well my pop is in the fridge in the garage, easy access. They don't get pop at home, just when eating out or going to grandma's house every other week maybe. I don't really think I am so strict with healthy foods that they go crazy on stuff they can't have.....maybe I should let them a little more often though. I mean neighbor kids walk around with pepsi or mountain dew and if they get pop it is sprite. Or neighbor kids with a big ole bag of gummy worms, lol I don't think I could be like that though....

I know Halloween is coming up, trying to figure out how to deal with the candy. How much they should get, etc. Maybe part of the sneaking food is me being just too strict, because the siblings usually are all over the food stuff too, they partake in it often. They just aren't sneaky like he is.
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Old 10-28-2013, 12:45 AM   #8
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Maybe this is a dumb, simple question, but have you asked him why he sneaks? Or broke it down suuuper simply? If he sneaks, he's going to get caught and will 100% be in trouble. If he asks, on the other hand, he has a 50/50 shot of getting a 'yes' as a response, with the worst case scenario being a 'no' but not getting in trouble.

What about encouraging asking to help break the habit? "Mom can I have a piece of candy?" "You finished your dinner, so yes you can. And since you asked instead of just sneaking, you can get two."

That's all I've got for ideas

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Old 10-28-2013, 02:39 AM   #9
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Re: Anyone have a child who is sneaky?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hillargh View Post
Maybe this is a dumb, simple question, but have you asked him why he sneaks? Or broke it down suuuper simply? If he sneaks, he's going to get caught and will 100% be in trouble. If he asks, on the other hand, he has a 50/50 shot of getting a 'yes' as a response, with the worst case scenario being a 'no' but not getting in trouble.

What about encouraging asking to help break the habit? "Mom can I have a piece of candy?" "You finished your dinner, so yes you can. And since you asked instead of just sneaking, you can get two."

That's all I've got for ideas

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my 8 year old girl just say" I don't know". I don't know what to do about this either.
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Old 10-28-2013, 05:03 AM   #10
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Re: Anyone have a child who is sneaky?

Oh yes. This is my oldest. He is now 17 and I have the great fortune of looking back and saying to myself....I still have no idea why or what I could have done differently.

Really though, I do think a couple things contributed to it. First, he is really smart and sometimes that comes with a bit of a restless mind. Always needs something to do, look at, explore, etc. Secondly, he has ADHD. Got that diagnosis as a teen after some pretty extensive educational testing. He is not hyperactive, but it explains the impulse control issue. Third, he is on the spectrum - mild Aspergers - and for him it manifests a lot as "train tracking" - he gets an idea in his head and it sticks there like glue. If he decided he wanted to watch a certain movie we had and I said no, he'd just get up way early and put it in himself.

I think its interesting that sneakiness has been connected to restrictive parenting on this thread and it may be so to a certain degree in our case but in my defense, this a kid who needed firm boundaries! I had tried before to let him self-direct more and he has no idea when to quit. Food was and still is a huge issue for him. And I had the discussion many times about how if he asked me I might say yes vs sneaking and being in trouble. The problem was, if he asked and I said no, he'd just do it later or behind my back. I was as consistent as is humanly possible with consequences etc but it didn't make a difference. Some kids are just like this I think and honestly sometimes I really worried about him that he'd have no respect for the law, etc, but thankfully we haven't had trouble with that and has he's gotten older his behavior has improved considerably and he is generally more considerate of my boundaries.
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