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Old 10-29-2013, 10:53 AM   #11
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Re: serious parenting fail

Thank you ladies. I just can't emphasize enough what a sweet kid he is. Tantrums, melt downs, fits... they do not happen. I can probably count on one hand the number of times anything close to a fit has ever come from this kid. The reason I feel so terrible about the nap situation is that he is not crying or whining or even fighting me. When I'm trying to get him to sleep he is trying to show me his bear's nose, or hide under his blanket, or tickle my neck, or talk to the dog. It's like he doesn't have a mean bone in his body when it comes to mama. When I lost my patience and smacked his leg he only cried in shock and asked me to kiss it.

Sometimes I think he's this wonderful person who I am slowly going to wreck with horrible parenting. Maybe I am depressed, because right now I truly feel that he deserves a better mom.

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Old 10-29-2013, 10:54 AM   #12
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Re: serious parenting fail

Oh my dear... You are an absolutely fantastic parent. You made a mistake this one time, and it was an easy mistake to make when you're pregnant and exhausted, and it doesn't have big consequences. Give yourself and your boy a big hug, and an extra big hug from me.

ETA: I can honestly say I've cried to my therapist that I feel so ****ty as a parent compared to you. I realize that's pathetic, but there it is. You are, objectively and subjectively speaking, an amazing mama.
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Old 10-29-2013, 10:56 AM   #13
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*hugs* mama I've been there. Pregnancy exhaustion is horrible and it really takes it's toll on your sanity. I'm almost in my 3rd trimester and I've had many of those days.
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Old 10-29-2013, 11:01 AM   #14
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Re: serious parenting fail

Been there hugs
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Old 10-29-2013, 11:02 AM   #15
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Re: serious parenting fail

Oh Jenn, you are being way, way too hard on yourself. Everyone has days they'd like to forget, and extreme exhaustion just compounds that. My dad likes to say "When your energy is small, your problems are big, but when your energy is big, your problems are small." Right now you have no energy, and when that happens a kid not napping is the end of the world, no matter how cute they are being.

You have an intelligent kid, and when you cuddle with him next just apologize for yesterday. Sometimes Mama is going to make mistakes, and honestly I think it's good for kids to realize that. Pregnancy just beats the crap out of us and makes everything so HARD. But, you have to be kind to yourself, because your son needs to see his parents forgiving themselves - don't you want him to forgive himself when he has less-than-stellar days? He IS a wonderful person, and you are NOT going to wreck him with your parenting. He is going to be amazing because of your parenting. You'll just have to trust all of us on that one.

And, Happy Birthday (I saw you on another thread yesterday)
30 is a *****, and somehow a little pocket of depression. Once you get out of the pregnancy drain, especially the first trimester, you will feel a bit more positive.
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Old 10-29-2013, 03:07 PM   #16
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Re: serious parenting fail

I was really expecting way more criticism than this. Thank you all for helping me put it into perspective. I guess it seemed so big because I was 100% in the wrong. Not just, oh, different parenting style. I was fully wrong, and it made me feel out of control.

He naps for everyone except me (he has a nanny 4 days a week), and I think my frustration is compounded by fatigue and feeling like I'm failing compared to his nanny or other babysitters. Smart, kind people tell me he's just excited that I'm home, but in the moment I feel utterly inferior.

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...
I so take the easy road... ugh my pathetic admission is that I know if I didn't work I would have way more terrible days of being mean and selfish toward my kid. So many days I miss him and dream about being a SAHM, but I don't think I would be a SAHM whom anyone could admire. I love being a parent, but I don't feel good enough to be a parent all day every day. While I'm glad I can admit that, it hurts my heart.

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My dad likes to say "When your energy is small, your problems are big, but when your energy is big, your problems are small."
...
And, Happy Birthday (I saw you on another thread yesterday)
30 is a *****, and somehow a little pocket of depression. Once you get out of the pregnancy drain, especially the first trimester, you will feel a bit more positive.
I love that saying. It's really true.

Ugh. This is my dirty thirty birthday today. Lol. Nothing happens in a vacuum does it. Probably just a rough week all around.

Last edited by Palooka; 10-29-2013 at 03:09 PM.
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Old 10-29-2013, 03:27 PM   #17
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If it makes you feel any better, my kids nap great for other people and won't at all for me.
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Old 10-29-2013, 04:58 PM   #18
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Re: serious parenting fail

Every mom has bad days. If the napping is a frequent problem I would make a room toddler safe and keep him in there during "nap time". When I was pregnant with my second dd I would lay on my toddlers bedroom floor and take a nap while she played. When I was pregnant with my third dd, nap time turned into "quiet time" because my oldest didn't nap anymore. She was required to stay in her room and I put a baby gate up on dd2's room to keep her safely contained during quiet time even if she didn't sleep. That kept on even when I wasn't pregnant and needing a nap myself because quiet time was a sanity saver for me!

ETA: when I was pregnant with my ds, I had a nine year old and just told her to wake me if there was trouble
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Old 10-29-2013, 05:34 PM   #19
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Re: serious parenting fail

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If it makes you feel any better, my kids nap great for other people and won't at all for me.
Ditto. My son never napped longer than half an hour for the entire first year of his life. Went to daycare at 12 months old and routinely napped two-three hours.

I choose to believe it is because he wanted to spend time with me and not that he wanted to push me over the edge. But that might be the lack of sleep talking....
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:00 PM   #20
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Re: serious parenting fail

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If it makes you feel any better, my kids nap great for other people and won't at all for me.
It does. Also your avatar nearly made me cry today. A super hormonal mess I was sitting at my desk reading this thread, eating soup, and thinking "But sometimes sad NEEDS angry to protect her..."

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