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Old 11-18-2013, 05:00 PM   #11
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With my girls, I instantly felt connected. With this one, not until I knew he was a boy and could put an actual name out there instead of just belly bean or the baby.

Granted this has been my most difficult pregnancy, HG, ng feeding tube, horrible sickness, etc. but I honestly don't think that had anything to do with it.

I honestly would cry some days because I just did not feel "connected" with the pregnancy. Now I think it's because with 2 kids already, I don't have time to just sit and think about the pregnancy 24-7.

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Old 11-18-2013, 05:04 PM   #12
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Re: At what point did you feel a strong connection with LO?

It sounds awful to say but it was probably when I took her home the first night. She was all mine to care for on my own. My ex and I laid on our bed with her in between us talking about the day before and the birth of our daughter. I felt really connected to her in that moment. I had a very tough time breastfeeding and finally getting her to breastfeed was another huge moment in our bond.

I felt very disconnected throughout my pregnancy I have battled depression since my teenage years. I used to spend hours soaking in the tub watching my DD toss in turn in my belly. It was surreal feeling.
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Old 11-18-2013, 05:18 PM   #13
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With both, probably around 7 or 8 weeks I started to feel that mama bear protective instinct which I think of sort of as a bond. I pretty much completely disconnected with DS when he was born though.

The birth was not at all like I had wanted and I didn't get that rush of ooey gooey love junk. He had a series of issues that led to him screaming nonstop from about day 2 until he was 5ish months old when we stopped breastfeeding and switched to nutramigen. I didn't start to feel bonded or connected to him until then.
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Old 11-18-2013, 05:19 PM   #14
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I didn't feel connected to DD at all while I was pregnant. I honestly wasn't even excited about having a baby. I wanted to get pregnant, but as soon as that test was positive I had doubts and spent the next 9 months wondering if we had made a mistake. I felt a bond with her when she breastfed for the first time.

Now I'm pregnant again and can't say that I feel a bond this time either. But I do feel excited to have him because now I know how awesome that bond is when it happens
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Old 11-18-2013, 05:26 PM   #15
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Oh my gosh, thank you ladies for being so honest with me. I was really starting to feel disappointed in myself for the way I was feeling (or not feeling, I guess). It's a relief to know I'm not alone, and this is probably normal.
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Old 11-18-2013, 08:01 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by Ber10512
Oh my gosh, thank you ladies for being so honest with me. I was really starting to feel disappointed in myself for the way I was feeling (or not feeling, I guess). It's a relief to know I'm not alone, and this is probably normal.
It HAS to be normal. If so many of use have gone through it. *hugs* I think most people have some sort of disconnect through the entire process, but since were "omg growing new life yayz!!!!" A lot of people don't openly express it because it's not society's expectations on how we are "supposed" to feel.

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Old 11-18-2013, 08:27 PM   #17
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Re: At what point did you feel a strong connection with LO?

I am 38 weeks and Im not sure I would describe myself as connected with the baby. I am excited and can't wait to meet him/her but I think it mostly comes after the birth...
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Old 11-18-2013, 10:24 PM   #18
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Re: At what point did you feel a strong connection with LO?

Honestly OP, then only reason I'm excited about this pregnancy is because I know how much I love my daughters. It's so hard to know just how special parenthood is until you've lived it.
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Old 11-18-2013, 11:45 PM   #19
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Re: At what point did you feel a strong connection with LO?

With DS1, from the moment I found out it started building. The milestones made it more real (first kick, seeing a blob that looked like a baby on the U/S, etc.) and it increased as time went on. I had a gender disappointment period when I found out he was a boy. Not because I wanted a girl, but I felt like he was a girl, dreamed he was a girl, had a perfect girl name and no boy name, etc. But I got past that pretty quickly and adjusted. Insta-love the moment he was born.

With DS2, not until around he was 6-8mo. So, not at all during pregnancy, and quite a while after birth. I'm still working on it, actually. I tried pretty much everything. Talking to my stomach, making a journal thingy for him, prepping baby stuff, all of that. Not trying to be a debbie downer, I just feel like no one ever says that, and from support I received during my pregnancy and after he was born from other women, it's pretty common. I felt like I was a horrible, evil woman and something was wrong with me because everyone kept saying, "Oh once he's born, it'll be like magic!" And then it wasn't. So that sucked quite a bit.
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Old 11-20-2013, 07:06 AM   #20
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Re: At what point did you feel a strong connection with LO?

I like being pregnant but honestly the bonding didn't happen until after birth. There was always kinda a disconnect. It didn't clink until birth and i knew the gender and we decided on a name.
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