Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-20-2013, 07:16 AM   #21
Mommyto2B2G's Avatar
Mommyto2B2G
Registered Users
Formerly: **kau*
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Wouldn't you like to know ;)
Posts: 1,291
My Mood:
I couldn't bond or connect until she was here. Even the last few weeks of pregnancy I was panicking wondering if and when would she pass away. It was horrible. I bonded the moment I saw her alive and breathing. Keep in mind I had losses before her though so this might not apply to your issue unless this is why you can't bond yet.

Advertisement

__________________
Proud Mama to: My big guys C (9/2002) and N (10/2003), and my princess (3/2006).
Always missing my angel babies 3/2008, 9/2011, and twins 5/2012
Baby C is here! 5/2013
Mommyto2B2G is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2013, 07:53 AM   #22
raymark's Avatar
raymark
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 3,116
My Mood:
Re: At what point did you feel a strong connection with LO?

When I saw my blastocytes on transfer day.
raymark is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2013, 07:59 AM   #23
mrseum's Avatar
mrseum
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,811
My Mood:
I'm not feeling it yet. I'm 29 weeks. With DS I bonded instantly, he was very wanted- and I knew he was a boy & we had his name picked before the gender ultrasound.
W/ds2 I was connected, but mildly disappointed at his ultrasound when we found out he was a boy.
With this one? Unplanned. And- I feel absolutely horrid in saying that I was done- did not want anymore after ds2. Ds1 tries and tests me day in and day out. By the time he leaves for preschool I even feel drained. :/ ds2 has multiple food allergies and is into EVERYTHING, constantly. For me to sit I to risk him climbing up onto the dresser or dumping the pitcher in the fridge, ect.
I'm just exhausted.
I knew when I got pregnant w/this LO that it was not God's will for me to have a daughter. And it's not. I want a girl, ad Im so dissappointed. I know I will love him. I'm done... I want him out so I can get back in shape (which I was finally doing). I don't want to deal with the sleepless nights- I still cosleep w/ds2 most nights because he wakes often. I want to go back to school, ect. Ah- well.
__________________
mama to three sweet, rough & tumble boys who always keep me on my feet:
I-4.28.09
C-4.25.11
E-2.1.14
mrseum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2013, 08:14 AM   #24
Ber10512's Avatar
Ber10512
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 457
I appreciate the honesty here, more than you all may ever know! I've been feeling some tiny bumps and flutters for the past couple of days, and it has definitely improved my mood some.

I think the hardest part for me has been "mourning" the loss of our non-parent selves. We had such a great time being married, just us - fun vacations and weekend getaways with just a carry-on full of clothes in tow, a great sex life, weekends at the bar drinking/dancing, I was happy with my body - and in the blink of an eye with some pee on a stick, that's all gone now. Haha. All good things must come to an end! But as much as I thought I was ready to give all that up, it was a lot harder than I imagined. I'm looking forward to the new experiences of parenthood, and trying not to idealize the past - because I know that had its low points too. But I am definitely ready to find fun again, this pregnancy has sucked all of the fun out of me.


Life isn't easy.
__________________
From my iPhone =)
Ber10512 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2013, 08:36 AM   #25
EmmaGM's Avatar
EmmaGM
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 7,874
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ber10512 View Post
I appreciate the honesty here, more than you all may ever know! I've been feeling some tiny bumps and flutters for the past couple of days, and it has definitely improved my mood some.

I think the hardest part for me has been "mourning" the loss of our non-parent selves. We had such a great time being married, just us - fun vacations and weekend getaways with just a carry-on full of clothes in tow, a great sex life, weekends at the bar drinking/dancing, I was happy with my body - and in the blink of an eye with some pee on a stick, that's all gone now. Haha. All good things must come to an end! But as much as I thought I was ready to give all that up, it was a lot harder than I imagined. I'm looking forward to the new experiences of parenthood, and trying not to idealize the past - because I know that had its low points too. But I am definitely ready to find fun again, this pregnancy has sucked all of the fun out of me.

Life isn't easy.
I went through a really really hard period of mourning our pre-baby relationship after DS was born. It was about sleepless night #5 and I just sat in bed sobbing because I felt like I would never be able to just plop into bed and spend an hour laughing with DH before we fell sleep.

Our lives aren't the same but they aren't worse. DS sleeps now and he doesn't scream all the time. Our lives have a new rhythm and we started spending that hour laughing together before sleep almost a year ago already.
__________________
Emma H&T Mama to Faolan 6/7/12 & Malachy 1/29/14
Bindi Burrito coming 2/9/16
EmmaGM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-2013, 08:04 AM   #26
StarryEyedSurprise's Avatar
StarryEyedSurprise
Registered Users
Formerly: btrfli81
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New Port Richey. FL
Posts: 2,325
My Mood:
With dd3, she was about a month and a half before i really felt connected to her. Up until then, I was just caring for her and loving on her because I knew I was supposed to. Our breastfeeding relationship got off badly (nipple cracked so badly that I wanted to quit breastfeeding) and I think that had a lot to do with it. It seems like we connected once my nipple stopped making me cry.
__________________
Sarah - Wife to my high school sweetheart and mama to Mykah Joy (10/12), Kylie Starr (8/07), and Alexia Erynne (6/02).
Join me on Swagbucks!
Shop my etsy - Girl To The Third Power
StarryEyedSurprise is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-2013, 01:26 PM   #27
Vettech87
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 102
Re: At what point did you feel a strong connection with LO?

I felt connected right away. We had been trying for a while and even though I tried to stay distant until at least week 12, it wasn't possible for me. I smile so big anytime I even think about him, I am now near 24 weeks.
Vettech87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-2013, 05:22 PM   #28
steely_cass's Avatar
steely_cass
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: OKC
Posts: 1,058
My Mood:
With DD, I really didn't feel the unconditional love, would die for this child bond until she was a month or more. Don't get me wrong, I liked her, I was excited she was coming/was here, I was certainly going to take good care of her. But right around the month mark I remember getting her dried off from a bath and it just suddenly hit me how wonderful and how in love with her I was.

So it's TOTALLY normal how you are feeling! I wish someone had told me that not everyone cries and has this overwhelming sense of joy when their child is born. And it's ok! It really does come eventually.
__________________
~Cassie~
Wife to Jake
SAHM to Lydia (Nov '07)
and Wilder (July '14)
steely_cass is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-2013, 07:14 PM   #29
risata's Avatar
risata
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,903
Re: At what point did you feel a strong connection with LO?

Quote:
Originally Posted by steely_cass View Post
I wish someone had told me that not everyone cries and has this overwhelming sense of joy when their child is born.
Ha! This is so true. I just felt immense relief that labor was OVER.

I didn't get to see or hold either baby until thirty or forty minutes had passed. I literally had DH take a pic of DD2 with his phone so I could see what she looked like. But ... I really didn't care all that much. I mean, I was happy to get to see and hold them when it finally happened. I teared up some but wasn't weeping with joy. Bonding happened eventually, but it definitely wasn't right away. And I don't feel really bonded with this baby either, not yet.
__________________
Rachel, Jersey Mama to the Boogie, Peabody, and Bacon
risata is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 03:35 PM   #30
raisingcropsandbabies
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,275
Re: At what point did you feel a strong connection with LO?

With my first 3 kids, I didn't bond with them during pregnancy at all.

The first two kids took 3 days or so to bond with them after birth.
My 3rd son I bonded with at birth instantly.

My 4th kid, I did feel more connected to her during pregnancy. I think it's because we found out her gender (we didn't with the others)... though it did take until 30ish weeks or so. Even though I felt more connected to her, I still didn't feel bonded. It took a couple weeks after her birth to feel "bonded" with her. Before that point, I kept thinking, "Why did I do this again?" haha.
raisingcropsandbabies is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.