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Old 12-12-2013, 04:29 PM   #11
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Re: Gender disappointment

You are most definitely not alone.

My SIL put it really beautifully: it's not that you're disappointed in what your baby is, it's that you're mourning the baby that might have been. You're grieving the little girl who will not be in your life just yet. That's a painful thing, and it's okay to let yourself feel sad.

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Old 12-12-2013, 04:45 PM   #12
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Re: Gender disappointment

I can relate!

We have 3 girls, then a boy, and now another girl on the way.

I don't know why, but I just expected this would be another boy. I really wanted another boy for my husband and my son....but God knows better and I just have to believe that.

It took me about a week, but then I got excited and started shopping. We had given away all our girl stuff as my youngest girl is already 7!

Hugs to you! Take it easy on yourself and you will eventually get excited for this baby!
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Old 12-13-2013, 12:09 AM   #13
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Last octoberish I made this thread also I love my 3rd boy but yes I'm due in June and praying for a girl.
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Old 12-13-2013, 02:05 AM   #14
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Re: Gender disappointment

You are so not a jerk! I had the same feeling with my first, and felt terrible about it. You are entitled to feel this way . My best advice? Feel how you are going to feel and drop the guilt:-) Eventually you will be delighted, but not now, and that's totally fine! Hugs!
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Old 12-13-2013, 04:56 AM   #15
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First of all, congrats on the healthy LO! We had our anatomy scan last week, and were rooting for a boy. We ARE having a boy, and yet the unexpected happened for me- I still feel bummed letting go of all of the baby girl thoughts I had... decorating her nursery, naming her after my grandmother, doing the typical little girl crafts and activities as she grew up. I definitely grew an attachment to 2 future babies, and inevitably had to let go of one. I think its normal to have a hard time letting go. You have nothing to feel guilty about mama, what's meant to be will be - and I bet he'll be perfect =)
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Old 12-14-2013, 07:46 AM   #16
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It's ok! I didn't even want a girl and was a little disappointed to find out we were having boy #4. I think it was just all of the maybe you will have a girl you need a girl talk.
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Old 12-14-2013, 08:38 AM   #17
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Re: Gender disappointment

Quote:
Originally Posted by miriamleigh View Post
You are so not a jerk! I had the same feeling with my first, and felt terrible about it. You are entitled to feel this way . My best advice? Feel how you are going to feel and drop the guilt:-) Eventually you will be delighted, but not now, and that's totally fine! Hugs!
Yep, me too with my first, only I wanted a boy and she was a girl! It's almost like going through a stage of mourning, but it will pass eventually. Congrats on your new LO on the way!
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Old 12-14-2013, 10:19 AM   #18
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Re: Gender disappointment

I was like that with ds3 and ds4. I didn't want to tell anyone. I am still sad that I'm not getting a girl and spend way too much time day dreaming the the 3 ultrasounds that showed boy were wrong and next week when this baby is born it will be a girl. Yeah. I'm a jerk. Wanna hear about a bigger jerk?

My dh. He says he doesn't want a girl. He wants me to have one because I so desperately want a daughter. Well, this baby, #4, was a pull & pray fail. We were not planning on getting pregnant when we did (it was ok, just not planned) We went to the doctor early because of some complications after ds3. They did an ultrasound and found only a sac. A week later they confirmed a blighted ovum. They offered the pill to jump start the miscarriage. They offered a d&c. We decided to just miscarry at home. I waited for that to happen for weeks. Every time I went to the bathroom I was afraid to wipe, expecting blood. I still threw up but they said that was normal because I still had the hormones. We waited 5 weeks to miscarry but nothing happened so they did another ultrasound because they were worried about infection. Well, there was an 11 week baby there! A miracle! And due around Christmas, perfect! So, my first real appointment was at 14 weeks. They couldn't find a heartbeat. You've got to be kidding me, right? All that and the baby wasn't going to make it anyway? We were so upset. They sent us to the hospital for an ultrasound. Instantly there was a heartbeat. And then a penis. I was fighting tears and my dh says (in front of the ultrasound tech and the girl she was training) "Should have had the d&c" He was just upset and even cried later that he couldn't believe he said that and didn't mean it. (dh is a cop, he has no emotions after this job for over a decade so you know he meant it if he's going to cry about it) So there you have it...bigger jerk!
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Old 12-14-2013, 09:51 PM   #19
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*hugs* when I saw I wondered how you felt about this. I knew you really wanted a girl. I hope you can be at peace with it soon and glad that he looks healthy.
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Old 12-15-2013, 06:51 AM   #20
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You're not a jerk. Dd1 was going to be my last and i.was fully prepared.to be super upset if she had been a boy. I absolutely with all my heart wanted a girl!
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