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Old 02-14-2014, 09:43 AM   #51
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Re: starting school late aka "redshirting"...

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I think I may agree with this approach more than keeping the kid out altogether. Why not let your kid struggle and work hard a bit? I'm just thinking this through as a parent who will face this. If a school district is willing to let a kid go through Kindergarten more than once, why not let him try it the first time? Maybe we are being too protective of our kids - never wanting to see them fail.
In our case, there would be no advantage to this. My son already lacked confidence and desire to learn after his first year of preschool. To send him to school at 5 when he clearly was not ready in several ways, push him through his kindergarten year, and then inform him that his effort was just not enough to pass him on to 1st grade with his peers would crush him. It would be a huge blow to his confidence. His dislike of learning would only get worse. This may not be the case with all children, but it is for my son.

I mentioned this before, but there has been no disadvantage to us in sending him to kindergarten right after his 6th birthday. Several of his classmates are only 2-3 months younger than him. He fits right in. He loves to learn and is thriving. He isn't bored. I know him well enough to confidently say that this would not have been the case a year ago.

The bottom line is that parents know their child best. Setting my child up for failure would not be in his best interest. Could he have surprised me and done well at 5 as a young kindergartener? Absolutely, but since there would be little to no disadvantage to giving him another year to prepare himself socially, emotionally, and academically in our case, I wouldn't put him through that hoping to be surprised.

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Old 02-14-2014, 10:37 AM   #52
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The bottom line is that parents know their child best. Setting my child up for failure would not be in his best interest. Could he have surprised me and done well at 5 as a young kindergartener? Absolutely, but since there would be little to no disadvantage to giving him another year to prepare himself socially, emotionally, and academically in our case, I wouldn't put him through that hoping to be surprised.
Yes the bottom line is that parents know their kids. But in your case, it sounds like you weren't entirely sure if your son would rise to the occasion. I hardly call giving a child an opportunity to succeed setting him up for failure. What if he had been given a chance? If he tried and failed at 5, what does a crushing defeat look like in a 5 year old? Or would it be more of a crushing defeat for his parents? I wonder if its more of the way you present things than the things themselves, that determine the way kids react to them.
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Old 02-14-2014, 10:43 AM   #53
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Re: starting school late aka "redshirting"...

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If he tried and failed at 5, what does a crushing defeat look like in a 5 year old?
Crushing defeat looks like a kid that doesn't like to go to school, which is really hard to change. I teach in an urban middle school, and we have lots of boys that felt stupid as young children and never overcame it.
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Old 02-14-2014, 11:20 AM   #54
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Re: starting school late aka "redshirting"...

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Yes the bottom line is that parents know their kids. But in your case, it sounds like you weren't entirely sure if your son would rise to the occasion. I hardly call giving a child an opportunity to succeed setting him up for failure. What if he had been given a chance? If he tried and failed at 5, what does a crushing defeat look like in a 5 year old? Or would it be more of a crushing defeat for his parents? I wonder if its more of the way you present things than the things themselves, that determine the way kids react to them.
What does a crushing defeat look like in my son? He's an anxious kid...always been a worrier. It's just his nature. He can be easily disappointed with himself. He doesn't bounce back easily and we spend a lot of time trying to build him up. Every child is so very different. His brother is completely the opposite. As a parent, I would not consider repeating a grade to be a defeat at all. My concern would be the effect that it has on his confidence and his desire to learn.

Like I said, the benefits of him waiting another year have far outweighed the disadvantages of not sending him at 5.

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Old 02-14-2014, 12:20 PM   #55
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Crushing defeat looks like a kid that doesn't like to go to school, which is really hard to change. I teach in an urban middle school, and we have lots of boys that felt stupid as young children and never overcame it.
You know, my daughter doesn't like going to school. She complains about it as much as she complains about anything else, which is a lot. It has nothing to do with how well she's doing, but she doesn't enjoy the work. I wonder what I should have done to make things easier for her.
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Old 02-14-2014, 03:55 PM   #56
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I am content in my decision to wait until DD turns 6. She will turn 6 and 10 days later start K. She will be 6 through-out K. This translates to her turning 16 and starting the 10th grade, and completing the 10th grade at age 16 as well. She will begin and end her senior year at age 18. In contrast she could begin K at barely 5 and end it at 5. She would then begin and end 10th grade 15, and begin and end her senior year at 17. I am not overly concerned with K. I am concerned with others that start K at 6 and at 7 being in her sophomore class with her being barely 15 and they being 16-17. If red shirting were not common I would feel less inclined to do it myself. And while I "get" that the reasons it is done, often, are not right- my concern is for how it ripples down to affect my daughter. If the other children in her class are already older than her and red shirting is occurring with such frequency- well... For us this is the best option for HER. Ideologies and maybes and mights and shoulda, coulda, woulda's all go out the window as I take a hard look at the facts in our community.

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Old 02-14-2014, 04:29 PM   #57
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Re: starting school late aka "redshirting"...

If a kid doesn't like school in Kindy, you have to look at other schooling options. That first year (and really the first several years) are going to determine if kiddo likes school. If your kindy age kid hates school, I would be looking at charter/private/homeschooling options, talking to the principal about a different teacher, something. Kindy kids like school. They need to feel happy there, and if something at the current school isn't working at that age, IMO, it is important to find one that she looks forward to going to.

If she is complaining about everything all the time, I might look into some counseling too.
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Old 02-14-2014, 04:38 PM   #58
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This is why redshirting was created and how it got it's name.

Here in Texas a child has to have been 5 by the first day of school (according to a quick google search looking for info on cutoff dates). School cannot start before the third week in August. If a kid is already 6 when starting kindergarten, unless they just missed cutoff they will probably turn 7 during the school year. A 7 year old kindergartener sounds crazy to me, but there are a lot of parents doing this.
Seems crazy to me to me too. My 7 yr old is in the 2nd grade. He will be 8 this summer. My daughter will turn 6 about a month after she starts Kindergarten, which means she will be 8 in 2nd grade. Meanwhile, my September boy @ 9 yrs old is in 4th grade.
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Old 02-14-2014, 04:43 PM   #59
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Re: starting school late aka "redshirting"...

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Interesting. One of my kids has a birthday 11 days later than your nephew's with same cutoff, so she CAN'T go to K. What kinds of problems does your nephew have with being older? This will be an issue with 2 of my kids. I wasn't worried about it, but maybe I should be?
If she can't go, don't worry about it and consider yourself lucky to not *have* to decide .

My nephew seems to have been born old, if that makes sense. He both looks and acts like an older child. He was losing teeth at age 4, his shoe size was 1 at age 5, and he is a head taller than my son who is only 8 weeks younger and average height. My sister jokes that he will probably start shaving in 4th grade. But physical stuff aside, he loves learning. He loves books, loves analyzing problems, and is bored with his classmates. He says they act too babyish. Compared to him, I agree. He sticks out like a sore thumb.
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