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Old 02-12-2014, 06:52 AM   #1
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Sleepover worries

DS got invited to a sleepover birthday party, he's 7. He is on medication for ADHD and still wets the bed EVERY night. I don't even know how to approach this. I've had one very brief conversation with the mom and while she seems nice I really don't know her. I've seen lots of recommendations about bedwetting and sleepovers on here, saying bring a bag and change privately etc. but DS really doesn't seem to get that not a lot of other kids deal with this. I don't want him to be embarrassed but like he seriously doesn't care how quickly he gets changed in the morning and it smells obviously. Would you have a conversation with the other mom about it? Skip the sleepover? Hope your son can handle getting dressed on his own?

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Old 02-12-2014, 07:13 AM   #2
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Re: Sleepover worries

A little girl I used to baby sit had a mom with a great idea. She put the pull up in the bottom of her sleeping bag and Ally would covertly put it on while in her bag and then take it off and leave it in there in the morning. Just roll up the bag and her mom would deal with it when she got home.
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Old 02-12-2014, 08:42 AM   #3
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I would skip the sleepover. But, we don't do sleepovers, period! Not even my jr high kids.

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Old 02-12-2014, 10:47 AM   #4
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Re: Sleepover worries

Honestly - I'd skip the sleepover. He doesn't sound ready. We didn't let dd1 do sleepovers until this year (3rd grade) because she wasn't ready. She wouldn't have been able to go to sleep without her little rituals and we didn't want her teased for needing to go home (the couple she was invited to I didn't know the parents well enough to know how they'd handle it). So it was easier to say no sleep overs yet. She did much better staying with grandma this year and barely needed her rituals when she stayed there (she goes for a week to stay with grandma each summer) so we knew she'd be fine at sleepovers. We still are picky about where she goes - if we don't know the family she doesn't go. But when she's gone she's had a blast. Waiting that extra year made a huge difference for her.
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Old 02-12-2014, 10:58 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by MDever
A little girl I used to baby sit had a mom with a great idea. She put the pull up in the bottom of her sleeping bag and Ally would covertly put it on while in her bag and then take it off and leave it in there in the morning. Just roll up the bag and her mom would deal with it when she got home.
That is an awesome idea.
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Old 02-12-2014, 11:00 AM   #6
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Re: Sleepover worries

I'd skip. At that age, they're just getting to the point where they really care about what their peers think. The last thing I'd want is for him to be teased about something like that that could easily be avoided by not allowing him to go. He's only seven--plenty of time for sleepovers when he's a little older and more ready physiologically. Plus, as you pointed out, you don't even really know the mom.

Good luck with your decision, mama!
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Old 02-12-2014, 11:04 AM   #7
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I'd skip the sleep over. Ask the mom how late she anticipates the kids staying up or have her call you when its time for the kids to start winding down. Let him hang out late, but pick him up before the sleepover portion. If you think he'll feel uncomfortable having to be picked up and won't understand why, make up an excuse for why he needs to be home in the morning, even if it's just a special family pancake breakfast. Even if he does understand why he can't sleep over, it might make him feel more at ease to blame you than to have to come up with an excuse off the cuff if a friend asks why he's going home.
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Old 02-12-2014, 01:46 PM   #8
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Re: Sleepover worries

I know there are lots of 'no sleepovers ever' families here, but if he wants to go, and you have no problem with it in theory I don't see why a pull up should be the reason not to go.

I would probably explain to him that other kids might think it's weird so he might want to keep it private and then offer the sleeping bag solution above. Although I'm not sure 7yr old boys would care/notice?
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Old 02-12-2014, 02:32 PM   #9
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Re: Sleepover worries

We only do sleepovers with very select friends. I have to know the parents very well and for my boys they each have 2 friends they have stayed over night with. My dd has not and it will be quite a while until she does because she doesn't have many friends that I am close to their parents.

7 year old boys would for sure notice something like that IME. They would also be very verbal about it. Not necessarily in a teasing way but it would be noticed. If you do want him to stay I would talk to the mom about it for sure. When we have boys over at our home they always take turns dressing in the bathroom alone. They have done this themselves. IDK if that helps you or not lol.
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Old 02-13-2014, 05:03 AM   #10
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Re: Sleepover worries

So I spoke with DS about it and he actually said "N probably wouldn't want me to sleepover because of my pull up". So he apparently told his friend about his pull ups and his friend doesn't care lol. I'm still on the fence. DH set the alarm clock and woke DS up to pee in the middle of the night and dry bed this morning! So maybe we're on to something.
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