Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-12-2014, 10:26 PM   #11
happysmileylady
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,715
Re: How do I get someone to listen and see it

As for how to get them to see it, I second the suggestion of video. Like if you could set up some sort of nanny cam or something similar. Because really, even if he was oj with being videotaped, what you really want is "unbiased" video, where he is being totally himself, and thats hard to get when people know they are being videoed.

As to why professionals dont listen, it likely has to dio with having seen so much already. There are a LOT of parents who go to every doc they can until someone gives their kid a label, for whatever reason. There are also a LOT of parents who genuinely don't understand whats "normal" and what isn't. And a lot of mothers who have fears that are just unfounded. And then on top of all that, there are probably docs who see enough "bad" cases that when they get someone who is "not so bad," its probably pretty hard to not just kinda blow them off, for lack of a better term.

Which brings me back to video, the cliché says seeing is believing, and probably the best way to get them to believe it is to make them see it. And I suspect the best way to do that is video.

Advertisement

__________________
Kim-married to Dan
Mama to Caiti (17), Rae Rae (4), Dani Lee(2), and CJ, born 10/12/12.
Stuff From Kim's Kloset That Special Moment Photography Also come check out Swagbucks with me!
happysmileylady is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 10:42 PM   #12
isabelsmummy
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 3,755
Re: How do I get someone to listen and see it

How about approach it as not so much wanting a diagnosis of the entire issues but more looking for help in parenting the individual issues?

Give the counsellor a list of the specific issues and ask for help working through those - she mentioned anxiety so focus on that maybe? Perhaps an occupational therapist might help with the issues around noise and music?

If there is a bigger issue at play perhaps it will become more apparent in time?

To be honest, almost everything you described sounds like my dd. She's only 4.5 though.
isabelsmummy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 11:40 PM   #13
winterhaven0417
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: AZ
Posts: 217
Re: How do I get someone to listen and see it

For the noise and loud music thing, has his hearing been tested (recently)?
I remember reading something years ago about someone who had "abnormal" hearing, and loud sounds and certain pitches hurt their ears. Sorry I can't remember what it was exactly that I read. But I think a doctor was somehow able to correct the problem.
Not that that's necessarily the problem, it just triggered something in my memory when you said he doesn't like music.
winterhaven0417 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2014, 06:34 AM   #14
HeatherlovesCDs
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 10,081
My Mood:
Re: How do I get someone to listen and see it

Quote:
Originally Posted by isabelsmummy View Post
How about approach it as not so much wanting a diagnosis of the entire issues but more looking for help in parenting the individual issues?

Give the counsellor a list of the specific issues and ask for help working through those - she mentioned anxiety so focus on that maybe? Perhaps an occupational therapist might help with the issues around noise and music?

If there is a bigger issue at play perhaps it will become more apparent in time?

To be honest, almost everything you described sounds like my dd. She's only 4.5 though.
That is what we are doing. I just find it frustrating being blown off by the people who are supposed to help. But I'm hoping that if we just address the issues that it will either take care of them or it will eventually come to light that there is something more.

To the bold, I didn't describe everything. I'm just venting about no one believing me, especially no one who can help. I did not describe him getting upset over something fairly small and scratching his neck and chest so badly that he bleeds...I'm not talking about just one scratch. He looks like he was attacked. I didn't mention many things that aren't normal. And, as I said, it is very hard to describe...it comes off like a high needs child when I describe it. When you see it in action, you see his body language and facial expressions and you can see it is more and not normal, but you can't really put your finger on exactly what it is about him that is different. But he is. Again, I specifically said it is hard to describe and people don't believe me and it does come off sounding like a high needs child. I truly hope your daughter is not like my son. If she is, I hope you start to look into getting help sooner than I did. I knew something was going on when he was 4, but my husband was not on board and it isn't obvious. I wish I had followed my gut then.
__________________
Heather SAHM to 6 who are 7 and under, including 2 sets of twins and our last little miracle, a surviving identical twin, born Oct 2012!

Last edited by HeatherlovesCDs; 02-13-2014 at 07:14 AM.
HeatherlovesCDs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2014, 07:45 AM   #15
Hum Bums's Avatar
Hum Bums
Senior Moderator
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Beaverton, OR
Posts: 3,925
Re: How do I get someone to listen and see it

Just throwing this out there to look at.
http://www.hsperson.com/

I was "diagnosed" with HSP by my therapist last year, and a few things on your sons list sound like things that I (as an adult) suffer from. I didn't really think much about it till this morning though. The music thing for instance... It drives me BATTY when people sing along with a song, however, since I'm an adult, I've learned to just keep my mouth shut about it.
__________________
Ashley, Mama to Kloe (5), Claire (3) & Charlotte (1)
I will leave feedback if you leave it for me!
I don't like seeing those yellow notes next to feedback!
Hum Bums is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2014, 08:29 AM   #16
Tiffanylamp's Avatar
Tiffanylamp
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 495
My Mood:
Re: How do I get someone to listen and see it

I am so sorry you aren't being taken seriously. If you haven't already, look for a counselor or therapist that specializes in autism and other spectrum disorders (since that is what you are concerned may be the problem). Also, behavior diagnosis takes longer than one session. You need to plan and expect multiple sessions (and if possible at least one of the sessions should take place in your home). Start a list/journal and write down all occurrences (dates and times) so you come armed with valuable information. Also, rate the severity (for instance this time when he scratched himself he was at an 8 compared to last time it was a 6). Try to write down where it took place (at home or at the store) and who else was involved (siblings that were present, you, your husband, etc). Don't worry about the journal being all neat and perfect (you can always type it up later before your appointment) just focus on writing down as much info as you can. Keep it short and factual. "Son became agitated because of "x" and scratched himself on his chest and neck. This lasted for about 60 seconds. Son then went and did "x". This incident was a 5. Me, sibling, friend present. date and time.

Doing this will take out that "mother's intuition, something is wrong" that you are getting the run around about. Instead you will approach the doctor/counselor/therapist with concrete evidence regarding your sons behavior.

As others have mentioned, a nanny cam set up would also be helpful (but if that is a no go, just do the above).

Keep fighting for your son, and keep looking for answers. It may be an anxiety problem (like the counselor thought) or it might be a sensory problem. Right now, the diagnosis doesn't matter, it is getting someone to take you seriously and really listen. I know you say it is hard to explain, so the journal is going to help you explain it. Even if it is just your son acting "off" write that down. "Son acted off when came home from park. He ceased eye contact and ignored others when spoken to. This lasted 30 minutes. Me, siblings present. date time. Rating is a 7.
__________________
Loving wife to my high school sweetheart since 2003, mommy to my baby girl since 1/12
Loving Ebates and the cash back I get shopping online at my fav stores

Happily getting my Groupon on
Sign up and earn SWAG! Already earned over $350 in Amazon GC!
Tiffanylamp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2014, 08:46 AM   #17
Palooka's Avatar
Palooka
Registered Users
Formerly: jenn.***
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,449
My Mood:
Re: How do I get someone to listen and see it

I don't know if this is where you're going with his behavior, and I hope this story doesn't offend or hurt you--not my intention! But I found this article really fascinating and enlightening, so I post it now and then in threads where moms feel something is off and it isn't necessarily medical. Most child development experts seem happy to talk about special needs, autism, sensory issues, etc, but refuse to discuss personality issues that we know darn well exist in adults (and almost certainly exist in kids since personality is rather unchanging). Sometimes kids are off, and it isn't anyone's fault.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/13/ma...anted=all&_r=0

Palooka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2014, 09:26 AM   #18
Hillargh
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 7,903
My Mood:
Video is your best friend when people won't listen.
Hillargh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2014, 09:50 AM   #19
Belle's Avatar
Belle
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: the beach!
Posts: 7,501
Re: How do I get someone to listen and see it

Quote:
Originally Posted by Palooka View Post
I don't know if this is where you're going with his behavior, and I hope this story doesn't offend or hurt you--not my intention! But I found this article really fascinating and enlightening, so I post it now and then in threads where moms feel something is off and it isn't necessarily medical. Most child development experts seem happy to talk about special needs, autism, sensory issues, etc, but refuse to discuss personality issues that we know darn well exist in adults (and almost certainly exist in kids since personality is rather unchanging). Sometimes kids are off, and it isn't anyone's fault.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/13/ma...anted=all&_r=0

Totally unrelated to the OP, but that article gave me chills. I would have flipped out if my DS had talked to me lucidly during one of his tantrums.
__________________
~J, wife to one, mama to three wild and crazy guys and one little lady!~
Belle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2014, 10:18 AM   #20
danielle's Avatar
danielle
Registered Users
Formerly: d*****
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Orchard Park, WNY
Posts: 9,354
My Mood:
Re: How do I get someone to listen and see it

We have an adult cousin who is exactly like what you describe, OP. You don't actually see an issue with him unless you start interacting with him and then you notice that something isn't exactly right. I'm very perceptive and it took me a year and only when he was actually in my house that I realized he wasn't 100%. I brought up my discomfort to an aunt (he was kind of being weird and unfriendly to my family in my house) and she explained that in retrospect it's pretty clear he has Aspergers.
__________________
Danielle, Nick, Gigi ('08) and William ('11)
Happy Family
danielle is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright © 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.