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Old 02-20-2014, 08:12 PM   #1
cuddlebunny_24
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Add to the stress of my week

Okay so I am at a complete loss of how to handle this situation. This has added a ton of stress to my already stressful week. This morning I found out that the father of my oldest son was arrested on federal charges. He has court ordered visitation, which of course he is not going to be able to comply with while he is in jail. I am waiting to find out to what extent the charges are and how long a sentence they will carry. But by the looks of it he is in a lot of trouble. My son knows that he will not be seeing his dad for a while because he was a "bad boy" and got in trouble with the police. That was pretty much all we told him because it was all he really can understand at the moment. The charges are not even in my local area they are out of state so finding out from local sources is not an option. I have been trying my best to find out what is going on from online sources but those are not always the best. I am certain it will only be a matter of time before it hits the local news because he is native to my area. But I am hoping that when it does it is the later news in the evening and not the 5 or 6 oclock news because my son is still awake for that. I do not want him to know more than he absolutely needs to right now because of the nature of everything and the fact that he is only 5. I will explain things better to him when he is older and can understand it better and handle the news better. I know it is going to crush him when he eventually finds out what happened. Heck I am still trying to make sense of it all myself. I am disappointed in his father for his serious lack of judgement. I never thought he could be so stupid as to doing something of this magnitude. I cannot going into details about it. I pretty much just need to vent. I am looking into getting my son into some sort of counseling for what is going on. I think the whole family would benefit from counseling. idk I guess I am just irritated with his father and I just need to get it out and vent a little bit. There is a potential of me going for sole custody of my son in which I would request that his father relinquish his legal rights over our son so that my husband can adopt him. I will be dropping child support too because I will not be seeing any of that money any time soon.


Okay I feel a tiny bit better.

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Old 02-20-2014, 08:27 PM   #2
3rockstars
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Re: Add to the stress of my week

If he was incarcerated of his own free choice, child support does not stop accruing. Keep in mind that you CAN put a lien on his stuff while he's in too. I mean, you can only take what he's got and he won't be earning more but if you NEED it and want to go that route, it's open to you. I know someone in the process of that right now. He owes $17k so she is taking his bank accts and his truck.

My FIL is a guard at the max security prison close to us and my girls know that and say that the inmates are in a big time out. They didn't make good choices and so they have to have a time-out until they learn to make better choices. And Grandpa makes sure that everyone behaves themselves while they are in time-out. It seemed to be the most logical explanation for them. The little girls I watch can't see their dad because he's in prison and that explanation worked for them as well. He will likely be there for at least 5 years so they'll be grown by the time he gets out but they accepted that explanation without question. They know their dad did some naughty things previously and so he finally got caught when it was a BIG naughty thing so now he has to serve his time-out and hopefully when he is done, he can make better choices. We'll see. Better than saying, "hey dad is a jack-butt who killed someone because he was doing dope while driving and now he can't see you."
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Old 02-20-2014, 09:03 PM   #3
cuddlebunny_24
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Re: Add to the stress of my week

True. As for putting a lien on anything he owns that won't matter because he doesn't own anything but a vehicle and that was taken in the investigation and by the time they are done with it I don't want it. Besides he only is court ordered to pay 50 bucks a month and I haven't seen any of it since November. So I don't expect to see any of it anyways. I like the theory of the "big time out" I think that will help with him understanding what is going on.
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