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Old 07-23-2014, 12:31 AM   #11
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Re: Parenting around the world

I am not familiar with any books, but I am raising my children in Europe if you have specific questions.

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Old 07-23-2014, 04:09 AM   #12
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Re: Parenting around the world

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Originally Posted by kabochan17 View Post
Spawn - lol. Wish I even knew what "euro-style" meant. It sounds so chic.
spawn is the best name for kids I think. We're not chic - well sometimes we are but mostly I think most Europeans are way more into investing their time into things that are long lasting. So more tendency towards the traditional in food and culture (and parenting). Less investment in short term relationships - most North Americans I meet for this first time tend to find me standoffish. Dh as well. We're better long-term. (Incidentally this also explains European customer service -- with some exceptions it's terrible in all of the countries I've lived in on this continent).
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Old 07-24-2014, 10:05 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by 2+2macht4
I am not familiar with any books, but I am raising my children in Europe if you have specific questions.
Thank you! I wouldn't presume to request your time in answering all the things I am curious about. But in general I am interested to know the attitudes most prevalent in other cultures regarding things such as:

- sleeping habits for babies (CIO, co-sleeping, separate rooms, etc)
- nursing (to what age is commonly "acceptable", or should babies be fed formula)
- discipline (parents' involvement level, styles)
- chores (how parents go about completing them together with or in spite of their children, what ages handle which tasks, if at all)
- expectations at table for babies learning to eat solids
- and other things I wouldn't even know to ask.

So, although I know in a lot of cultures there are interesting quirks (like always keeping baby's feet covered, or always washing the umbilical stump a certain way, or other, even (IMO) inhumane, things), that's not really what I'm after.
If you (or anybody) feel like commenting on any of those things I would find it very interesting!
...I have to admit that my interest is partially motivated by the potential ability to tell the advice-givers in my life to lay off a bit.
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Old 07-24-2014, 10:12 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Agla
Oh - yep! This was the one I was talking about!

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Old 07-25-2014, 03:25 AM   #15
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Re: Parenting around the world

Quote:
Originally Posted by kabochan17 View Post
Thank you! I wouldn't presume to request your time in answering all the things I am curious about. But in general I am interested to know the attitudes most prevalent in other cultures regarding things such as:

- sleeping habits for babies (CIO, co-sleeping, separate rooms, etc)
- nursing (to what age is commonly "acceptable", or should babies be fed formula)
- discipline (parents' involvement level, styles)
- chores (how parents go about completing them together with or in spite of their children, what ages handle which tasks, if at all)
- expectations at table for babies learning to eat solids
- and other things I wouldn't even know to ask.

So, although I know in a lot of cultures there are interesting quirks (like always keeping baby's feet covered, or always washing the umbilical stump a certain way, or other, even (IMO) inhumane, things), that's not really what I'm after.
If you (or anybody) feel like commenting on any of those things I would find it very interesting!
...I have to admit that my interest is partially motivated by the potential ability to tell the advice-givers in my life to lay off a bit.
I'll take on a few of these.

Sidecar co-sleepers are widely available and encouraged but I have been strictly warned by several medical professionals to not sleep with baby in my own bed. (Never my intention anyways - I am an extremely active sleeper.) I know no one who does. Once baby is sleeping through the night (and there is a good bit of pressure to have baby "faire ses nuits") they generally are in a crib either in their own room or their parents room. Own room is preferable but if the family is living in a small apartment then parents room is fine. I know a family who put their toddler in the bathtub to sleep - with cushions whenever they had company in their little apartment. While not strictly CIO most French parents do "la pause" whenever baby wakes instead of running straight to them.

Meals and food are pretty much sacred here. And while very young babies who are still eating purée are given a little leeway (usually fed first etc) by the time they reach toddler age they are expected to have acceptable table manners. Not perfect but starting to use their own cutlery, eating what others are eating etc. acting up during a meal is usually met with swift correction. If they are in a restaurant, a parent will usually bodily remove a misbehaving child. Food outside of acceptable times is frowned upon. 3 meals plus a large afternoon snack ("goutee") and a small mid morning snack. Unless taking a very long car trip food in the car is also strongly discouraged.

Most French parents have very little issue with spanking their children. It's not vindictive - occurs immediately after infraction, open hand, clothed bottom. This horrifies some friends of mine (Scandinavians mostly) who see it as child abuse.

There are other things - but I'm going to make one of those offensive sweeping generalizations. French parents are traditional. The parents are in charge and don't hesitate to discipline a misbehaving child. Things get muddled in the teen years mostly because the child learns to reason and argue and French people love well-reasoned arguments.
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Old 07-25-2014, 08:03 AM   #16
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Re: Parenting around the world

I'm in Sweden and here are a few parenting differences I've noted since moving here:

1. Most women only nurse for 6 or maybe 9 months then babies are fed a mysterious substance called välling. From what I can tell from the packages I see in the grocery store, it is a combination of milk powder and cereal and various vitamins and minerals. It is a powder that is mixed with water and fed out of a bottle. As far as I know, baby formula does not exist here. I find it very strange that all these health-conscious Swedes aren't encouraged to breastfeed their babies for longer. Jarred babyfood is readily available and the transition to solid food seems to be similar to that in North America.

2. Pacifiers seem to be a requirement for all babies and it is not unusual to see 3-4 year olds running around with one in their mouth. I remember visiting my husbands family in Denmark when my son was about 4 months old and his aunt was shocked that he didn't have one so I think this must be a general Scandinavian thing.

3. Babies/toddlers must nap outside, regardless of the season or weather. Swedes believe it keeps kids healthy to sleep in the fresh air. Babies are put in their prams to nap and rolled outside. If it's freezing cold in the middle of winter, they just get bundled up in winter clothes and blankets and out they go. Even if the family lives on the top floor of an apartment building, baby is taken out to the garden for naptime (and usually left alone with occasional checks from the parent).

4. Spanking is illegal and viewed as abusive (which explains a previous posters comment about her Scandinavian friends).

5. Kids are given much more freedom at earlier ages and parents are not paranoid about their kids being kidnapped. It is not unusual to see toddlers outside playing by themselves and young kids walking around town without a parent. I think kids learn to be more self-sufficient and independent earlier here. It's also perfectly fine to leave a sleeping baby in the car while you run in to pay for gas or pick up an older kid from school without worrying that someone will call the police on you. I love this about living here.

6. Kids often share rooms with siblings or even parents. Housing is expensive and houses are generally smaller here that in North America so it's not unusual to have shared bedrooms.

That's all I can think of now but I'm sure there are many more.
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Old 07-25-2014, 10:35 AM   #17
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Re: Parenting around the world

That suprises me about France. I was encouraged to co sleep from day 1. Even in the hospital when my son was upset in the in room bassinett (no nursery concept in room babies) the nurse brought him to my in my bed.

I have coslept with DS2 since he was born even in the hospital, and with DS1 since he was 4 months old. We have all slept in one big family bed for amost 2 years now us 4, 3,5 years counting time with DS1.
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Old 07-25-2014, 10:37 AM   #18
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Re: Parenting around the world

I should add I don't think its is a wide spread norm, co sleeping so long, but also not discouraged and their is a crunchy community, even within the hebammen (midwives).
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Old 07-25-2014, 10:39 AM   #19
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Re: Parenting around the world

Another major difference VBAC is encouraged not repeat csection by default, even by OBGYN.

Breastfeeding is socially excepted, thought extended breastfeeding is not widespread.

Babies forward face at 9 months on the norm in Germany.

Any form of physical discipline including spanking is illegal.
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Old 07-25-2014, 10:41 AM   #20
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Re: Parenting around the world

Ohh another if you do have a csection dont expect pain meds, you get it 12 hours then you get ibuprofen, which they will start weaning while you are still inpatient.

Birth stays average 3 days normal 5-7 days c section.

Women have 6 weeks pre and 8 weeks post birth fully paid time off. You get kindergeld for each child it is not income baised. You can stay home paid a year 67% income, and your job is garanteed up to 3 years (2 later years unpaid leave).
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