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Old 07-31-2014, 06:31 AM   #1
KendraR95
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When did you have "the talk"

So my oldest daughter is about to be 9 and shes going into the 4th grade. When did yall start talking to your girls about sex, their body changing, all that jazz? My mom NEVER had the talk with me, everything I learned about anything was from sex ed and just figuring it out on my own. I dont want it to be like that with my kids! I know I was like 12 when my period started and in like 5th or 6th grade. But shes one of the youngest in her class because she barely made the birthday cut off for school, so she turns 9when school starts and all her classmates start turning 10 Sept first so I know some of them might be starting changing and such. *sigh* HELP please! ?

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Old 07-31-2014, 06:38 AM   #2
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Re: When did you have "the talk"

It was about this age. Around 9 or so. I kept waiting for her to ask questions and they never came so I started in on her LOL. There was a really cool website that I let her look around in. I think it was kidshealth.org.
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Old 07-31-2014, 06:54 AM   #3
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Re: When did you have "the talk"

There are aspects of it we already talk to our 5 yr olds about. I presume the detail & more advanced topics will evolve as they age - similar to how conversations with their now adult sisters evolved. General health books geared toward kids are a good place to start. Asking questions to find out what she knows and is curious about is also a good starting point. It can be as simple as letting a tampon commercial or shopping trip for sports bras spark conversation.
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Old 07-31-2014, 08:26 AM   #4
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Re: When did you have "the talk"

We have never had a sit down 'talk'. We(or rather I did) discussed things from toddlerhood onward. Nothing was kept secret. It was just spoken of in an age appropriate manner. At least with my daughter it was that way. With my son's it has been a bit harder. My husband does need to discuss things with our son's but I suspect that is going to fall to me.
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Old 07-31-2014, 08:30 AM   #5
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Re: When did you have "the talk"

A great book is American Girls Care and Keeping of You. It covers everything from periods to breast development to body odor and hygiene. It describes things really well, but does not cover sex. It's geared towards a young audience.

I discussed periods and body changes when my oldest was 9 or 10. I did the talking, but showed her the illustrations from the book. All she wanted to know is if it was normal, when I assured her it was, she was good.
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Old 07-31-2014, 09:09 AM   #6
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We (well me but dh was aware I was doing it) got dd1 Anerican girls Care and Keeping of you. We read it together and talked about it (not much as she didn't want to talk much). We did it this spring when dd1 was 9 (turned 9 in Nov). It was always my plan to do it this summer but I bumped it up because I happened to notice she was starting to develop pubic hair and figured it was time. (Please please God don't let her period start too soon - she's too young IMO). This summer at 9 1/2 she's obviously developing breast buds so her time is approaching way too fast. I was 13 and my Mom was 16 when our periods started. I was very caught off guard to see her starting to develop at age 9. I'm crossing my fingers to make it until close to 11 for her period so she's done with 4th grade and out of elementary school.

Dd1 is rather socially oblivious so I'm waiting a year for the sex talk. But we'll talk about it before she starts middle school (5th grade). I know even if other kids are sort of talking about it she isn't hearing it - she just doesn't hear playground talk.
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Old 07-31-2014, 09:37 AM   #7
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Re: When did you have "the talk"

I don't have any girls, but I started talking about sex and using proper terminology at about 4 with my son. Age-appropriate and simple terms, of course. Then I got pregnant when he was 6 and we had the "where babies come from" talk again going into a bit more detail. My plan is to just increase the knowledge every year and include puberty and body changes in our talks as he gets older. Somewhere around 12 I plan to have the "respect for females" talk and the "safe sex" talk. If it feels right, I might go into realistic expectations from sex and body images.

My mom gave me a book. Even though that was less embarrassing than talking to her about it, I think I'd rather my kids be able to have an open conversation with me about it. I hope they can be comfortable enough to talk to me. And if they aren't, I want them to at least have correct information (rather than what their friends say) to hopefully make smart choices without my input.

Fingers crossed!
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Old 08-01-2014, 12:48 AM   #8
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Re: When did you have "the talk"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Southernbelle View Post
A great book is American Girls Care and Keeping of You. It covers everything from periods to breast development to body odor and hygiene. It describes things really well, but does not cover sex. It's geared towards a young audience.

I discussed periods and body changes when my oldest was 9 or 10. I did the talking, but showed her the illustrations from the book. All she wanted to know is if it was normal, when I assured her it was, she was good.
I was just about to suggest the same one!

There is one about feelings and friends also. All very tame.

She's just turning 10 but I've not really done must talking about periods she knows it exists and what it is but not the logistics of it. . Probably this year I will. She only weighs 55lbs and is a stick. The only sign of anything is that after gymnastics she smells now.
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Old 08-01-2014, 01:41 AM   #9
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Re: When did you have "the talk"

We freely talk about bits and pieces so she is ready and not panicky when and where it happens.

I was at home at the age of 8- my birthday-when I was between 2nd-3rd grade so by 4th i was there in period land as I was held back a year too.

I don't want to be like my mom was and a not talk until she had to in 5th as she was like part of the talk to the girls at that age but forced to because I started way early. My mom- adoptive- didn't start til age 12.
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Old 08-01-2014, 11:40 AM   #10
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It's an ongoing conversation that happens a little at a time, but started about 9 1/2
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