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Old 08-02-2014, 07:43 PM   #1
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Venting... Any advice?

DD is almost 7 months... This is my first baby. She is so awesome... But she is all over the place! It's driving me batty!

She wakes up any where between 6am and 9am.

She won't nap or sleep alone.

The only way I can get her to sleep is to nurse or baby wear her. She has to cosleep with me at night or no one sleeps.

She is tired and cranky one second and bored and frustrated the next! Then happy as a clam!!

She will only nap a sum total of 30-60min during the day unless I wear her. My back hurts!

Because she doesn't sleep long enough or alone... I can't work out. I can't take a class online or work on anything that I can't access through my smart phone. My stress levels are through the roof and I feel like crap! Seriously, heart disease must be more prevalent among women who have had kids because they can't take care of themselves. Argh!

She doesn't sleep until sometime between 7pm and 10pm... And she doesn't sleep alone... So if I get up she wakes up 10 min later.



Ahhh! Did I get a high maintenance baby or am I doing it wrong?? Heh.



Should I try to start a nightly schedule? Dinner at 6:45pm. Bath at 7:15pm. Play at 7:30pm. Bed at 8:00pm...? So at least I would know when bedtime would happen.

I don't know why I bother... Since she doesn't sleep alone. I feel so frustrated and like I've given up trying!







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Old 08-02-2014, 08:09 PM   #2
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A few thoughts:

1) Keep a journal for 2 weeks: feedings, sleeping, bowel movements. It'll help determine patterns you can play into.

2) Can your DH help out? Can you get a few hours alone on a weekend to recharge?

3) Does she have any allergy symptoms? If she has a food allergy it could be messing with her sleep.

4) This was my DD2. Some babies are just high maintenance. Despite my best efforts to schedule, we were at her mercy. We couldn't sleep train, she would get instantly hysterical to the point she would start gagging and sometimes puke. She wouldn't even go to DH til she was a year old. For the first 6 months she would only sleep with my nipple IN her mouth. I tried EVERYTHING. Nothing worked but time. She's still higher needs than my other 2, despite vast improvement. So you have my sympathy.
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Old 08-02-2014, 08:51 PM   #3
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Re: Venting... Any advice?

Sounds like my toddler. He has been that way since birth. He has become marginally better as he has gotten older but is still very much a demanding and needy child. Wish I could help with more than just sympathy and understanding but I don't know what to do either.
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Old 08-02-2014, 08:58 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by mibarra View Post
A few thoughts:

1) Keep a journal for 2 weeks: feedings, sleeping, bowel movements. It'll help determine patterns you can play into.

2) Can your DH help out? Can you get a few hours alone on a weekend to recharge?

3) Does she have any allergy symptoms? If she has a food allergy it could be messing with her sleep.

4) This was my DD2. Some babies are just high maintenance. Despite my best efforts to schedule, we were at her mercy. We couldn't sleep train, she would get instantly hysterical to the point she would start gagging and sometimes puke. She wouldn't even go to DH til she was a year old. For the first 6 months she would only sleep with my nipple IN her mouth. I tried EVERYTHING. Nothing worked but time. She's still higher needs than my other 2, despite vast improvement. So you have my sympathy.

Number 2 was no way here & still kind of is. no amount of daddy helps. embrace it now for baby to want mommy as eventually I hear lots grow up &dont want mommy as much too soon or either become daddy grils like my toddler 3 yr girl.

Number 4 I know as my boy has upset himself so that he does it too.

I sympathize and empathize too much with the one posting especially teething & upsetiing & naptimes. I felt glued to the couch for months.
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Old 08-02-2014, 11:08 PM   #5
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Re: Venting... Any advice?

Boy this sounds familiar. First child was exactly like this. I called her high needs. She needed me and I did my best to respond. It was exhausting, to say the least. I did not schedule her because that is completely against my nature and hers as well. She did what she needed to do when she needed to do it. She slept very little and was only happy when she was nursing, so you can imagine what I spent most of my time doing. I was in a complete fog for the first year of her life. It let up some around her second birthday, when I weaned her and potty trained her. She was pretty high strung for a few years after that but comparatively speaking, much more manageable. I now have a very mellow, well-balanced 15-year-old who is a delightful human being.

Hang in there mama. You are not doing anything wrong and neither is your baby. Keep doing what you are doing and things will smooth out, I promise.
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Old 08-03-2014, 08:04 AM   #6
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Re: Venting... Any advice?

Hollis is pretty intense & very much like this. Honestly, getting her in her crib at night has been the best thing for us. A nighttime routine & feeding solids close to bedtime have helped. I nurse her to sleep or close to it & transfer her to her crib. We just moved & her crib went into the nursery, so that's been another adjustment, but she's been sleeping pretty darn well. She doesnt have an ideal schedule, sleeping 10p-10a w/ one feeding, but now that the schedule is pretty well established, I think I can start moving her toward a better bedtime & wake time. Her naps are hit & miss, & some days she doesn't nap at all, but I've been attributing that to our wacky schedule & me not being able to get both twins on a nap schedule. But having a new routine the last week, I've realized that Hollis gets distacted from nursing, so when I put her down, she's still hungry, so she wakes up & cries. A second "feeding" of another 5min or so typically gets me 1-1.5hrs nap. And Laken, a good night sleeper, has even picked up a second nap during the day. Both girls' sleep improved once they were mobile enough to get into a preferred sleeping position...Laken is a side-sleeper & it took forever b/c Hollis has her brace at night, but she flips over onto her belly to sleep.

What happens if you let your DD fuss a bit? I'm not talking CIO, but we were comfortable letting DD1fuss/cry for about 5 min at nap or bedtime. I didn't do that w/ the twins b/c I didn't want them waking or upsetting each other...except they don't, so now they get 5 minutes to settle before I go "save" them. They mostly go back to sleep in that time now, though maybe 20% of the time I do have to get up.

Having the bed back at night has made it tolerable to have a looser nap routine; they often nap on me or next to me on the couch, and I kind of like the slow cuddle time in the afternoon to watch a show or read w/ DD1, even though I "should" be doing something else

Also, this is me being brutally honest w/ you & w/ myself, b/c I know it's part of my issue w/ Hollis, too. Relax. You seem to post multiple times a day w/ anxious questions about your DD's elimination, feeding, nursing, sleeping, and napping habits. And you seem to get yourself a little wound up in anticipation of the habitual difficulties. I do it, too. It makes those difficulties pretty inevitable & doubly frustrating. I didn't get to drive myself crazy w/ DD1, since I was working, but staying at home this time around has just given me plenty of time to overanalyze every aspect of childrearing. For me, it's a pretty significant part of ppd, which I'm trying to manage w/o meds (meds tanked my supply so I stopped, but am closely monitoring my symptoms), but it's also part of my personality. I have to stay mindful & do things to help me let go & relax. Whether it's hobbies, exercize (I wish!), parents' night out at the Y, or even just a glass of wine, it helps me to not sweat the small stuff...and most of it is small stuff.
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Last edited by carriek38; 08-03-2014 at 08:33 AM.
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