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Old 07-27-2006, 03:59 AM   #1
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Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

She delivered her little boy at 4:01 yesterday afternoon, weighing in at 8 1/2 pounds. He was rolly-pollie chubby, with a thick head of hair. Her water was filled with meconium, and he required a little sunctioning to de-junk him, but mom and baby are both doing great. Nursing is going well.

The hospital did call DSS on her, for not having prenatal care (whihc I think there are better ways of dealing with that, but that's the law here) and a social worker contacted her by phone last night. She will be allowed to bring the baby home tomorrow, but will be closely followed to make sure that he receives "recommended well-child visists".

I'm going to go up and visit them today and bring her some newborn stuff, as she has NOTHING for this baby. Despite how annoyed I am at her negligent attitude during pregnancy, IK am glad that the baby appears to be healthy He has no name yet....

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Old 07-27-2006, 07:37 AM   #2
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Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

While I'm very happy that the baby and momma are both healthy despite lack of prenatal care, I really don't agree with DSS following her to make sure she brings him to "recommended" well-baby visits. Yes, he needs to be seen on a fairly regular basis, etc., but the key term there is "recommended". My point being that there is no law stating that you have to bring a child to well-baby visits. In her case it seems slightly more warranted, but if they do that with her, what's to stop them from stepping in if a mother decides to have a UP/UC and go to minimal wb visits b/c they do not vaccinate? JMO that the gov't is stepping in a little too much.
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Old 07-27-2006, 08:02 AM   #3
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Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

Nothing is to stop them..that's a big pet peeve of mine too. We actually had DSS sorta called on us--by a neighbor who reported neglrect but only to be a jerk--we are the LEAST neglectful parents of anyone I know, never mind on this street..that said, she lady came out about 6 weeks ago, and I didn't hear from her again until last nighht. She basically laughed at the things she found out, decided we were not neglectful (the allegations were that I leave my kids home alone..uh, they are 3, 5, and 7) but called last night to say she wanted to come back out and tlak to me because we don't really use the doctors and was very concerned about the fact that we don't immunize. She went to far as to tell her that we had to disclose our religion if they were to accept our waiver, whihc is not at all true, and I informed her that, at least here in MA, it is against the law to make any deciison based on one's religion. She again told me I had to tell her what religion I was. I replied, I don't care to disclose that to you, and it is well within my constitutional rights not to. So she's coming back....Okay, so maybe I oculd have been more cooperative and avoided another visit, but I have a huge issue with DSS anyway. If they were that concerned with neglect, what are they doing scheduling an appointment in a week and a half? Why not just show up here?

I'm rambling, though. In regards to this mom, it is hospital portocaol to call DSS for any mom who doesn't not have medical prenatal care. If you are a homebirth client, and you transfer, they automatically call on you because a DEM is not considered a provider of medical care. Yup, it sucks......the whoel system sucks
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Old 07-27-2006, 08:06 AM   #4
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Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

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Old 07-27-2006, 08:32 AM   #5
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Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

Jenny,
Do you realize dss has NO jurisdiction and you can refuse them access?
Without a warrant they can not enter your home.
I agree w/the pp as well. There is no law stating that a mother needs to have prenatal care OR go to well baby visits.
I am new so I missed the original posts
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Old 07-27-2006, 08:53 AM   #6
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Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

Yeah, I actually did refuse them access and they came back with the police. It is a terrible mess, and very annoying, but what it boils down to is my neighbor hates me and is trying to cause trouble for me, and I don't have anything to hide, so they can nose around all they want. I'm just not the most cooperative when accused of things that aren't true When the police came back, they said they had an emergency court order to take the kids, only until it was straightened out in court. I just iddn't feel like the fighting, we've got better things to do with our time.

The best part was she real concerned about them having beds (we have 5 poeple 6 beds) but never looked to see if there was food in the house anywhere, if our smoke detectors worked, if we had a way to heat and cook..none of that. She didn't ask about how we parent and/or discipline our kids, but where dh and I were born and how old our parents are was very important to her. I'm so furious at the system, not that I'm ever a fan of them, but if my kids were actually neglected, they'd never know Makes me think of all those poor babies who ARE left home alone, and not fed, and beaten....what good is a social service agency that doesn't check out the important stuff?
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Old 07-27-2006, 08:56 AM   #7
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Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

no dss cannot come in w/o a warrant. but sometimes it's better to just go with the flow if there's nothing wrong in your home and get them off your backs faster that way. the majority of the time they come and go knowing there was/is nothing wrong in the home. it's not that huge of a deal to throw a hissy over it. unfortunately the cases the NEED dss involved are often the ones that go unnoticed, i feel if something is reported it should be checked out regardless b/c you never really do know. it's their job, we all gripe they should do it better and leave the rest of us alone BUT they don't know which families need looked into until they go and look. i have a feeling their "excuse" for watching this mama is to make sure the baby goes to well baby visits...but it's probably far from the reason. they obviously feel there's reason. and if there's not they will soon leave her alone. it's as simple as that.

as far as taking her things for the baby....i hope you only took needed things. yes the baby does need things and she didn't have them and so that's great that you provided that for her! however i can't stand it when women are enabled and everything is brought and bought and given to them and all they do is sit back and take take take. it drives me nuts. and lots of them do wait until this point and then just expect people to give them things it's awful. i'm not against gifts and what not but i like to see a parent at least do their best, and they don't always b/c they feel like everyone else should be doing it for them. it's crap. but babies do need things and sometimes the rest of us do need to pick up the slack...but just the slack.
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Old 07-27-2006, 08:59 AM   #8
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Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

jenny it sounds to me like they weren't really that worried about you neglecting your kids so they made it a quick visit. although i do know first hand that the system does fail some children miserably and step in too late sometimes. it's sad, but our dss workers are overworked and understaffed. it's not that they don't care...there's just not enough of them or an efficient enough system IMO.
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Old 07-27-2006, 09:00 AM   #9
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Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

lol..i just have something for her to take the baby home in. She does have baby clothes from her first son, but they aren't unpacked and washed and stuff. I'm not a big fan of enabling either
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Old 07-27-2006, 10:47 AM   #10
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Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

I'm so glad the baby is ok! Thats such a relief.

DSS involvement sounds so dumb! I guess I would be in trouble and considered a negligent parent if they came to our house. We have 1 twin bed the girls share(the youngest won't sleep alone...so there is no reason to get her her own bed right now) and the new baby will have neither a crib or bassinet(we co-sleep and it would be a waste of space and money). We have less bed by CHOICE...not that we couldn't get enough beds if we wanted too. I think its dumb that they checked out how many beds you have...there is nothing wrong with a person(s) sleeping on the couch if money is tight...I can think of far worse things. And since when is being "poor" constitute bad parenting? Uhgg! THat makes me mad
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