Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-28-2006, 05:12 PM   #21
Bluemoon's Avatar
Bluemoon
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,698
My Mood:
Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

well I have to make this quick DH needs the puter, but no I do not monitor anything. But let me say this I have 5 healthy children. If I thought anything was wrong in one of my pregn. I would have went to the hosp asap. with dd#1 I fell out of our blazer and landed on my hip. Next day I was having pains in my lower stomach and back so I went to the er. Everthing was fine but I wanted to make sure. I take vits. and supplements and take good care of myself. I have read more about preg. labor and delivery then most people. We also made it a point to read all about how to delivery a baby in different positions. But when it comes down to it we pray and God has never let us down
Barbara

Advertisement

Bluemoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2006, 06:19 PM   #22
loulou belle's Avatar
loulou belle
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: alabama
Posts: 425
My Mood:
Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

Perhaps a different perspective. I have no idea where i am going with this, however, I though I would share my story.

I was one of those social workers that went and knocked on peoples doors. I have done my share of house visits. I have had friends come back to the office, go to use the restroom and had cockroaches fall out of their pants. I have treated myself, my family, and my vehicle for head lice more than the average public school does in an entire year. I have been in the houses where there is more dog crap in the house than food.

I had been in houses with drug dealers, and sexual abusers. I have been to the jail to see convicted murderers. I have sat through a criminal trial of a murdered 6 year old when I was 38 weeks pregnant. I have seen the blisters on a childs feet from being made to walk through hot coals. I have taken 4 year olds to the hospital for sexual abuse exams. I have looked at the autospy photos of an 18 month old.

I worked 70+ hours a week before my dd was born, and 60+ hours after. She was in daycare from 7:00 am to 7:00 pm. She went to bed at 7:30. I made NOTHING. PENNIES. I could qualify for food stamps if I was not married. In fact, I could have worked at McDonalds and made more money than I was making with a college education as a social worker. I did it because I believe that the system does work and children are valuable and deserve to be protected.

In my experince, DSS/CPS will not bother you unless they believe something major is wrong. At the office I worked at we had a great group of people, and our thought was to assess the situation, and provide services to the parents and to the children to keep the family unit together. Emergency removals were rarely done, and only when necessary. Maybe one every three months. (The Judge removed more often.)

I was a foster care social worker. I had up to 30 kids on my case load. Every child I referred to as "my kid". I bought them Christmas presents when their parents would not, I sent them birthday cards, took them to play mini golf, bowling, and shopping.

I understand that much of the system need help. None of it is perfect. Explaining to a three year old that they can't go home because their mommy would rather deal/use drugs, and prostitute herself on the corner...That is difficult.

Most Social workers try their best to work within the guidelines and the resources they have.

BTW, yes I think that CPS should be involved, but only to hook this mother up with appropriate resources in her community to allow her to parent that child to the best of her ability. Just my
loulou belle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2006, 06:45 PM   #23
bamamom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,445
My Mood:
Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

Loulou belle...thanks for your input. I used to take care of 2 little boys in daycare, and their parents were both employees of DHR. their dad was a supervisor, and their mom was a social worker.

They helped me be a little bit more balanced...I used to bash DHR mercifully..(btw, i am from Alabama too!). Now I understand that there are times when DHR NEEDS to do something, and their hands are tied.

Such was the case with a baby in my room..he desperately needed better care than he was getting, but there was nothing that the parents were doing that was really abusive,. just stupid and neglectful. And in the end, when he finally got hurt, we called the social worker mom, and asked her what we should do.

She asked us this question" ARe they mean, or are they just stupid enough to let something like that happen??" And we had to admit that they were just stupid. Stupid fools.

And that was that.

I think what bothers most people are the stories of people anonymously calling 911 and reporting, and then innocent parents (like most of us here) , get investigated,. And if I'm not mistaken , that stays on your record, right??

So we appreciate how hard you work, and howmuch you care for your kids. The vent here is over the injustice of people who do no wrong getting scrutinized.
bamamom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2006, 06:56 PM   #24
loulou belle's Avatar
loulou belle
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: alabama
Posts: 425
My Mood:
Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

Bamamom...

I think what bothers most people are the stories of people anonymously calling 911 and reporting, and then innocent parents (like most of us here) , get investigated,. And if I'm not mistaken , that stays on your record, right??

Most of the time the caller will say something stupid like: "I'm going through a nasty divorce with my wife right now, and it goes to court in a week". (Yeah, big clue this is a fake complaint) Or "my neighbor called the cops on me because I kept letting my dog crap in their yard" (another big clue of a fake). Or, "they don't have a sofa at their house" (and???)

So, most calls are screened before the caller even hangs up. In the state I worked in (NOT ALABAMA) all non complaints were shredded, all unfounded compaints were kept for a year, and there was a central registry for all founded compliants, which may or may not stay on your record. For example, sexual abuse. Yeah, that one is not coming off -- EVER. Small bruise from hitting the child with a hairbrush, it will probably stay on you record for a year.

This is not a criminal record however. This record would only be checked of you were going to be a teacher, school bus driver, foster parent, day care provider, etc...
loulou belle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2006, 07:04 PM   #25
loulou belle's Avatar
loulou belle
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: alabama
Posts: 425
My Mood:
Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

Oh, and FWIW, I have had a neighbor threaten to call CPS on me because dd and I were out walking in our neighborhood on evening and she came speeding up the road at 45 mph (we live in a cul-de-sac and the speed limit is 20mph, BTW) and almost ran over my child. We were trying to cross the road to get on the other sidewalk. After we finished our walk, I went to her house to kindly ask her to please slow down, as there are many children in the subdivision, it is summer, and if a child should happen to run out in the street after a ball she would hit them. (She never even swerved to miss my child)

She proceeded to tell me that I was neglecting my child and that she was going to call DSS on me. I laughed in her face and told her to call. WTH, I am neglecting my child by taking her on a walk in the evening before bed?

Needless to say, CPS never showed up on my door step. But I would have gladly invited them in.

BTW, she is a school teacher.
loulou belle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2006, 07:30 AM   #26
jennyofthemoon's Avatar
jennyofthemoon
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,008
Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

Wow..I came in to post an update, but got REALLY offended reading thorugh the last few replies. DSS doesn't get inovlved by phone calls madeout of vengence? SO I'm dealing with them right now because I REALLY DO leave my little kids home alone and AM neglectful but I'm lying about it? DSS doesn't get involved unless there is a mjor incident ot make them step in? Thanks for making me feel so much better....I'm off to shovel the piles of dog crap out of my fridge and comb the lice out of my kids hair. Nice to know the assumtions that are made about homes that have DSS visits...

Tell me, how do you screen out a call without visiting? The woman that came out here said she was coming out to check it out, because they had to, because without seeing us there is NO WAY of knowing if the allegations were true or not. And had she not come out, I would have been just as offended by a system who didn't follow up as I was at the person who made up stories about me.

I can't even go on....I just took that as a HUGE slap in the faace. I think that you would be real hard-pressed ANYWHERE to find a less neglectful parent than myself. This whole thing (DSS coming here) has made me question everything I thought i was doing right..and I decided that REALLY, there is NOTHING I do that could be considered neglectful. Thatnks for making me feel like a lying sack of dog ****.
__________________
mama to A, J L and S
jennyofthemoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2006, 07:42 AM   #27
keegans_mommy's Avatar
keegans_mommy
I had the CD wagon impounded!
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: In the arms of Jesus
Posts: 6,701
My Mood:
Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

Wow, sounds like CPS hasn't improved since I was a small child in the early 70's! I started out in a house with drug and alcohol abuse, mental, sexual and physical abuse. CPS's came a few times but returned my younger brother and myself each time. Even after being left in a car for over 2 hours in the winter (Idaho gets super cold in the winter!), returned after police raid on a cocaine party my parents threw and I reportedly, had it all over my face, returned after my brother and I were heard by passer-by-ers, crying. We had been locked in a dark closet (both in diapers and sour bottles) for 2 days, my brother had been beaten before going in too.

All of these times, we were returned to our parents. Tell me, why won't CPS improve???? This hits so close to my heart! It's sad to see they are pestering those who aren't neglectful or abusive while letting those who are, go and continue to hurt their children! Sick!
__________________
Brenda & Brian-Parents to: Tiffany 15, Claire 12, Keegan 8, Nathan 6, Teague 2, Charlotte 12 months
SAHM, HSing, cloth diapering, non-vaxing, babywearing, LDS, aspiring midwife and natural birthing mama
keegans_mommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2006, 08:29 AM   #28
bamamom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,445
My Mood:
Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

Quote:
Originally Posted by jennyofthemoon
Wow..I came in to post an update, but got REALLY offended reading thorugh the last few replies. DSS doesn't get inovlved by phone calls madeout of vengence? SO I'm dealing with them right now because I REALLY DO leave my little kids home alone and AM neglectful but I'm lying about it? DSS doesn't get involved unless there is a mjor incident ot make them step in? Thanks for making me feel so much better....I'm off to shovel the piles of dog crap out of my fridge and comb the lice out of my kids hair. Nice to know the assumtions that are made about homes that have DSS visits...

Tell me, how do you screen out a call without visiting? The woman that came out here said she was coming out to check it out, because they had to, because without seeing us there is NO WAY of knowing if the allegations were true or not. And had she not come out, I would have been just as offended by a system who didn't follow up as I was at the person who made up stories about me.

I can't even go on....I just took that as a HUGE slap in the faace. I think that you would be real hard-pressed ANYWHERE to find a less neglectful parent than myself. This whole thing (DSS coming here) has made me question everything I thought i was doing right..and I decided that REALLY, there is NOTHING I do that could be considered neglectful. Thatnks for making me feel like a lying sack of dog ****.
aww mama...I certainly wasnt trying to make anyone feel bad. I was thanking the social worker for her input, and relating a story.

I think frustration for me lies when DHR or CPS takes children from loving parents. Recently I heard of a sweet family with a lot of kids. These kids were far from neglected or abused. They had a big farm to play on, parents that love them dearly, fed whole foods, and kids were happy. Someone heard one day that they used spanking...mild spanking...as punishment.

An entire brigade of sherrif officers and CPS folks showed up at their gate and demanded entry. The story goes on and on..with the end being htat the kids were all separated, and put in Foster care. The kids are traumatized...not because of hte actions of their families..but because of the actions of CPS

THAT is the kind of stuff that bothers me. I never thought you did anything wrong....I am so sorry if my post offended you or made you feel bad...I never intended to make anyone feel bad.
bamamom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2006, 09:57 AM   #29
Shannon's Avatar
Shannon
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 8,790
My Mood:
Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

Oh Jenny! You hush up! Nobody here thinks you are a bad parent. I definitly don't. Don't second guess yourself!!! I mean it mama...you are a fabulous parent and don't get down because of a post on the internet. (((HUGS))) big time girl!


Loulou belle~ It's interesting to hear from a social workers POV. I've never had any personal experience with DHS/Cps or anything(TG) but I've heard all the stories. My main question to you now is about the bed issue brought up before. I am a great parent/ so is my Dh...but we only use two beds for the 4(almost 5 of us)...would CPS really find me neglectful for that? It's obviously because of choice, we co-sleep and see no need to spend the money and space on big furnture we dont' need.
__________________
Currently Single mommy to Aspen (7), Chloe (5) and Layla (3)

Marrying my wonderful Fiancee' Rodney on 6/26/20010
[/COLOR]Expecting to TTC in July 2010
Shannon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2006, 02:11 PM   #30
Abunchofus's Avatar
Abunchofus
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,939
Re: Update on my mama wiht no prenatal care

Jenny - don't hush up!
__________________
~ Christi ~
Abunchofus is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.