Nursing to pacify?

[Lisa-Rachelle]

Thanks so much to everyone for the replies.

I think that I still feel uncertain about my maternal instincts. I don't yet trust that how I feel is necessarily the "right" or "appropriate" reaction; so I second guess myself. And then people chime in with advice that completely goes against my instincts and it makes me wonder if I am doing more harm than good.

It's nice to know that when I nurse my daughter when she is upset and not JUST hungry, it's ok. For a while there I was starting to wonder!

[8blessings]

I have nursed all 8 of my babies until self weaning, and everyone of them nursed to pacify as well. They hated the binky/ pacifier, and only one of them was a thumb sucker (still is,lol), and I comforted them to sleep via nursing, holding, rocking to sleep, and I tell you everyone of them is healthy, happy, well-adjusted, and weaned when they were ready.YOU are the mama, and YOU know best as long as you listen to your heart- put baby first- and ignore everyone else. trust me, you will get lots of un-solicited advice and MOST of it is un-useful, and un-supported my the medical community. Mama, let your baby nurse all she wants to, for however long she wants to, and for whatever reason she wants- whether to satisfy or for hunger or to feel pacified/satisfied/loved & secure in her mama's arms. You are her ~nurturer & comforter~ - not just her source of food.

[ishwishdish]

Originally Posted by tennesseemom Thanks so much to everyone for the replies. I think that I still feel uncertain about my maternal instincts. I don't yet trust that how I feel is necessarily the "right" or "appropriate" reaction; so I second guess myself. And then people chime in with advice that completely goes against my instincts and it makes me wonder if I am doing more harm than good. It's nice to know that when I nurse my daughter when she is upset and not JUST hungry, it's ok. For a while there I was starting to wonder!

I'm so glad you have the support of these mamas here! I only wish I had that kind of support w/my first. It's so much easier the second time around to look back and see what you chose and the results of that choice.

[Julesmom23girls]

Go w/ your instincts mamma. Humans and animals have relied on them for years and we are still thriving. Do what you think is right and chances are you will be right. But if you ever need advice, come here, there are lots of good mammas w/ years of experience to help.

I just wanted to add to the PP, all of which I pretty much agree w/. If you Dd is very fussy have you considered what you are eating/drinking. Maybe something you are eating is affecting the baby. I know lots of mamma's have found that milk/dairy upsets the baby. If she seems colicy you may try cutting back for a while and see if there is any change. My Dd seemed colicy from birth but got worse as she got older, once I cut out most of my fluid milk I saw so much improvement. So if you think she is fussy for a reason then you might want to start thinking about what you are eating and what might be causing the problem, then eliminate it for a while and see if things get better.

Good luck w/ your new bundle and enjoy being a great mamma.

[ktlady]

You do what feels right to you. I nursed my first all the time and when she weaned there was no problem - we just added more cuddle time.

Good luck with you little one!

[Lisa-Rachelle]

Originally Posted by Julesmom23girls Go w/ your instincts mamma. Humans and animals have relied on them for years and we are still thriving. Do what you think is right and chances are you will be right. But if you ever need advice, come here, there are lots of good mammas w/ years of experience to help. I just wanted to add to the PP, all of which I pretty much agree w/. If you Dd is very fussy have you considered what you are eating/drinking. Maybe something you are eating is affecting the baby. I know lots of mamma's have found that milk/dairy upsets the baby. If she seems colicy you may try cutting back for a while and see if there is any change. My Dd seemed colicy from birth but got worse as she got older, once I cut out most of my fluid milk I saw so much improvement. So if you think she is fussy for a reason then you might want to start thinking about what you are eating and what might be causing the problem, then eliminate it for a while and see if things get better. .

Thanks for bringing up the Colic as well. Emma has been extra fussy these past three days, seeming more gasy than usual. She only wants to be carried upright and cried wickedly when she is laid down. I have some Gripe Water, which usually helps, but its almost impossible to give it to her when she is crying her little heart out.
There are so many things I eat, I guess any of it could possibly be causing her to be colicy? I will cut out dairy for a few days and see what happens. If not the dairy, what else could it be? I take Fenugreek supplements, as well as drink lots of the Mothers Milk nursing tea. Do you suppose one of the herbs could be causing her collic?

[*Chris~tian Mom]

Originally Posted by tennesseemom I finally figured out this week that my daughter (3 weeks old) has been nursing to pacify herself to sleep or when she is upset. Initially I didn't think anything was wrong with it, but my mother keeps telling me that if I allow her to do so; she will make it a habit and will need to keep pacifying herself in this way even through her early childhood years. She tells me "let her find her thumb", but she is still so small and uncoordinated I feel like its cruel to watch her squirm and cry trying to find her hand. This is my first baby, and my first experience with nursing. I have read so many books and heard so many opinions, but I feel more confused now than I did initially. Is it ok that my daughter wants to pacify herself with the breast? Usually she will latch on, suck for a minute and then fall fast asleep. Whereas when she actually nurses she actively feeds for about 20 minutes. Any opinions would be great!

First, I want to agree with everything everyone else wrote...Go with your instincts!
Secondly, at the age of 3 weeks, and even beyond really, comfort nursing should not even be considered "comfort nursing". At that age, the frequency of nursing (even if she is doing it before she goes to sleep), INCREASES your milk supply. By going against your own instincts and listening to others, in this case, you would actually be damaging your nursing relationship/supply becuase you would be interfering with your milk production. Did it occur to them that perhaps she is hungry and when her tummy is full she is able to slip peacefully to sleep??? Always keep in mind that nursing works by supply and demand. The more demand your baby makes, if you fulfil her needs, the more supply your body will make. ALso, expect that there will be times when she seems to nurse ALL DAY, for a few days in a row. It is the same principle at work~she will be trying to increase your supply to meet her growing needs.
Finally, again I read ahead so this pertains to your last posting, my youngest child (who is still nrursing, BTW) was considered high needs. He was also super sensitive to what I ate and reacted to MANY things I ate! (Milk and dairy products, garlic, coffee, chocolate, eggs, tomato products are some culprits that come immediately to mind) We had a crying period EVERY NIGHT from 7 to 11 pm. That lasted until he was well past 6 months. : ( I was also told to try gripe water but I was unable to find it at that time. (I have since seen it on the shelf of my local HFS.) Instead, my ped gave us some homeopathic remedies which helped tremendeously! You could also try crushing up some fennel seeds (6 or so), pour some boiling water over them and let it steep (covered) for 5 minutes then strain. Let it cool in the fridge until it is a lukewarm temp (so it doesn't burn her!) and give 1 or 1 1/2 tsps before she gets too worked up. It will work much like the gripe water.
Oh, and if you eliminate things from your diet, I was told that it would take a full three days to see accurate results. And the reverse is also true~what you eat can affect your babe for up to 3 days.
Feel free to email as I am still new to DS and may not find your posts again! lol (hugs) Your doing great Mama! Hang in there! (hugs!)

[Lisa-Rachelle]

Thanks Chris!

You know, I myself have a mild dairy allergy (I take Lactaid to manage it) and I wonder now if perhaps Emma might be sensitive to it as well? I bought Silk soy milk this afternoon and will steer clear of regular dairy items the rest of the week and see if it makes a difference.
The gripe water works wonders, but it's so hard to give her when she is crying because she just spits it all out in her tantrum. I have some of those regular gas drops that they sell over the counter, but I'm wondering what's in them (I hate to put anything artificial into my baby).

I guess I will just have to experiement with my nutritional items and take note of if Emma's restlessness and crying spells change or dissapear. It didn't even occur to me that what I eat might effect her. So many things to think about!

[*Chris~tian Mom]

Originally Posted by tennesseemom Thanks Chris! Your so welcome!!! You know, I myself have a mild dairy allergy (I take Lactaid to manage it) and I wonder now if perhaps Emma might be sensitive to it as well? It could very well be the case. I bought Silk soy milk this afternoon and will steer clear of regular dairy items the rest of the week and see if it makes a difference. Oh! Soy was bad, too! In fact, not only did he cry, it also gave me horrid gas pains as well! So I can't imagine what it did to his system. : ( I just wanted to warn you JIC so you don't go from the frying pan into the fire. The gripe water works wonders, but it's so hard to give her when she is crying because she just spits it all out in her tantrum. ICR! I have some of those regular gas drops that they sell over the counter, but I'm wondering what's in them (I hate to put anything artificial into my baby). Those didn't do a thing for my ds. : ( We ended up using a blend of pulsatilla, chamomilla and colosynthis (sp). Since they melt in the mouth, it was much easier. (My ped is also a certified homeopath.) Within 15 minutes, he usually calmed down enough to get to sleep.I guess I will just have to experiement with my nutritional items and take note of if Emma's restlessness and crying spells change or dissapear. It didn't even occur to me that what I eat might effect her. So many things to think about!

It can be overwelming at times. But I promise, things will get better as you become more familiar with your dd and her needs~what works and what doesn't. It just takes a bit of time, is all. more (hugs!)

[Julesmom23girls]

The gas drops didn't help us either, but Hylands colic tabs did they are getting easier to find and should be near where you got the gas drops. Homeopatic so I didn't feel as bad about giving them. I would cut out the dairy for a week or more before you try cutting out something else.

I know how frustrating it can be. Your baby wants to nurse all the time but then something in your milk might be causing the fussiness, it is like a no win situation. but you will figure out the problem and get on track and I bet she will settle into a better nursing routine. I agree though that you want her to nurse when she wants so that your supply keeps up w/ her demand.

We are here for you any time.