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Old 05-19-2008, 01:41 PM   #1
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UPDATE!! DH and I need a break, but DS is still BFing...

We had high hopes of an extended weekend for our anniversary this weekend, which is already shot, and we're okay with that. But, DS had been reaching more for food and less for me as of even a few days ago (for about a month), so we were just going to try leaving one afternoon and come back the next morning. Now, he's regressed to barely touching food and wanting mostly me - to the point that his poo went from almost solid to EBF yuck again! He will eat and drink (juice and water - he throws the cup if offered any type of milk) when I'm not around, but I'm scared to leave him devastated with someone else. I guess I should mention he's 13 months (DD's 2-1/2), and I've never been away from them for more than a few hours. Which sounds good, but I'm really getting worn down, and DH and I could really use some alone time, KWIM? DH's mom has offered to come stay here with the kids, if we'd like to leave them still. He rarely wakes up at night to nurse - unless he's sick - so at least that wouldn't be an issue. Anyone brave enough to have already tried this and can give advice one way or the other? TIA!
Well, we went, and it was GREAT!!! I decided to be fair to everyone and bought yet another pump. My MIL tried to warm some in a sippy (that's all he ever uses, other than bfing) with warm water, and he did what he's done with all other forms of milk. Took one sip, spit it out, and threw the cup! So, she stuck to water and juice and whatever he wanted to eat (I didn't get details and she wasn't sharing, but they were happy! ). He was definitely happy to see me and went right back to nursing throughout the day with no emotional issues. YEA! The only problem from the trip was that after spending the money and time, I FORGOT the pump! So, I was quite uncomfortable by the time we got home, but DS was hungry. Thank you for all of your advice and support. For the last poster: I'm glad we did it; DH and I needed the time after almost 3 years w/o any to ourselves. And, as I expected DD had a much harder time overall with us leaving than DS, but she was fine, too.

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Old 05-19-2008, 04:33 PM   #2
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Re: DH and I need a break, but DS is still BFing...

To me it doesn't sound like he's ready for an extended break from breastfeeding, or weaning for that matter. Leaving him would probably make him very upset and not happy with you upon your return, I know that's probably not what you want to hear. Are you and DH able to get out for a few hours together during the day? Even if its not an overnight trip, maybe doing something for just the two of you during the day could be a start and give you a break for a little while.
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Old 05-19-2008, 04:39 PM   #3
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Re: DH and I need a break, but DS is still BFing...

I probably wouldn't go away over night, but like the other poster said - maybe just a movie and some dinner will be enough to give you a little push and work your way towards a weekend away. It will happen eventually - so don't worry!!
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Old 05-19-2008, 04:42 PM   #4
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Re: DH and I need a break, but DS is still BFing...

Just a wonder, have you tried someone else giving him a cup with some expressed milk in it, say, when you are out of the house for an hour or so? DD (now 5) would never take milk if I was anywhere near her, but took it fine if I was gone.
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Old 05-20-2008, 07:40 AM   #5
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Re: DH and I need a break, but DS is still BFing...

doesnt seem like nows the time for a weekend away. he could be teething or hitting some other milestone thats making him want to nurse more.

dd was like that , heck, still is at 2.5 she nurses 2x a day most days but there are times when she's ALL about nursing
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Old 05-20-2008, 07:53 AM   #6
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Re: DH and I need a break, but DS is still BFing...

You know, I disagree. You and DH really need the time and healthy parents are needed for healthy kids. I have left my kids before weaning and they've been fine. I would probably get a hotel nearby, though, so that if he is having a rough time, you can go back home. With both of my kids, I found that they were very attached to nursing when I was around but, if I wasn't there, they didn't miss it.
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Old 05-20-2008, 08:53 AM   #7
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Re: DH and I need a break, but DS is still BFing...

I say go!

He is will be home with his toys, his bed, his sibling and his grandmother, he is be fine.

He will probably do so much better with out you there then he does with you home, you MIL will do fun things with them both and it is only 1 night.

Take the pump and a phone, if he is horribly sad you can come home but other wise pump to be comfortable and have a blast.

I promise he is will fine and in the mean time you and Dh will be better parents if you can have some time to be husband and wife

DO IT!
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Old 05-20-2008, 09:27 AM   #8
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Re: DH and I need a break, but DS is still BFing...

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Originally Posted by abbi77 View Post
Just a wonder, have you tried someone else giving him a cup with some expressed milk in it, say, when you are out of the house for an hour or so? DD (now 5) would never take milk if I was anywhere near her, but took it fine if I was gone.
No. Long story but to summarize we suffered with thrush for 9 months, and after buying and tossing the THIRD pump (not that I used it much anyway ), we'd have to get yet another one for this and I haven't felt like it. I guess my plan was to wean him onto some other form of milk be it cow, goat or rice whatever he'd like.

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Originally Posted by navars2 View Post
You know, I disagree. You and DH really need the time and healthy parents are needed for healthy kids. I have left my kids before weaning and they've been fine. I would probably get a hotel nearby, though, so that if he is having a rough time, you can go back home. With both of my kids, I found that they were very attached to nursing when I was around but, if I wasn't there, they didn't miss it.
Did you pump any or not even go there in case he realized it wasn't you offering?

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Originally Posted by cupcakewright View Post
I say go!

He is will be home with his toys, his bed, his sibling and his grandmother, he is be fine.

He will probably do so much better with out you there then he does with you home, you MIL will do fun things with them both and it is only 1 night.

Take the pump and a phone, if he is horribly sad you can come home but other wise pump to be comfortable and have a blast.

I promise he is will fine and in the mean time you and Dh will be better parents if you can have some time to be husband and wife

DO IT!
I'm leaning toward this, just not sure about pumping for him to leave. See, the other problem is that before I finally started introducing other foods, he was "eating me alive" so to speak. I was down to 90-92 pounds most days, no joke! After he started eating and drinking other things, I was able to get back up to around 100, then I got food poisoning and he got a little sick (sinus/allergy gunk) and started bfing a LOT more again. Obviously, I lost some weight again, but my body's rallying back up to around 100. So, there's also an underlying health issue for me here that's always at the back of mind. And, I eat as much as DH, whose 6' 2" and around 200lbs! I don't mind bfing for a while longer, but I do think he needs to be eating more and nursing less because of this. Any suggestions/thoughts on this, though? TIA!
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Old 05-20-2008, 09:43 AM   #9
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Re: DH and I need a break, but DS is still BFing...

I was a mean mom and at ten months I left for a weekend (he wasnt interested in nursing when I came home) so that was that and he is happy little boy now (almost 3) and DS2 nurses and eats a lot but I think he would be my issue child if I left him but I intend to wean when he is a year prob. I want my body back and so does dh...we are mean like that though cus I think we matter too (kids dont agree but oh well)
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Old 05-20-2008, 10:09 AM   #10
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Re: DH and I need a break, but DS is still BFing...

AS far as pumping for while you are gone, I think he would be fine for 20 hours with no milk if that is the way he goes, he will have solids and water to drink and should be absolutley FINE, The pumping while you are gone is so that you will be comfortable, and so that you can have fun!

I am so glad you are considering going.

I also think that when you get beack he will continue to nurse and be glad to see you , so no worries with him weaning early or anything.
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