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Old 05-28-2008, 11:11 PM   #1
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Question A lady in my church says I am going to KILL my baby!!!

As many people on here know I am going on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic next month and I am taking my youngest with me (he'll be 4 1/2 months when we go)! We will be going to an orphanage in Rio San Juan... it is a VERY remote poor poor area. I am going with 23 other people from my church, some of which have been there before but most have not.
This will be my first mission trip... I am taking Aiden with me because he has to eat of course He is EBF! Anyone who has seemed concerned I have calmly told them that children live there every day, we are actually going over there to care for children while the men lay some tile and and onto the orphanage building. I have told them that if those children can live there, mine will surely make it for 6 days there just fine. He will be in his sling most of the time and will nurse on demand as usual so he will be plenty hydrated in the heat. Then I give them the veggie tales line "God is bigger than the boogie man!"
Well this one particular lady who is VERY outspoken and "always right" stopped me in the parking lot tonight to tell me that I was putting a death sentence on my child by taking him there. Her main thing she kept talking about was the heat, I tried to assure her that he would be dressed appropriately, kept hydrated, and we would be fine. She wouln't hear anything I had to say and basically told me I was making a horrible choice as a mother and that I would not be bringing my son back alive. Her husband went on the church's mission trip last year to Hondouras and she kept taliking about how miserably hot it was there and how some of the men passed out, etc... and that she had "heard" that the heat was even worse in the DR.
Well, I am still going and I believe that God's hand is on my child and me wherever we go, and I know that chilren live their whole lives there, but she still bothered me, and of course made me start to question myself a ;itt;e bit... you know anytime someone tells you that you are going to KILL your child, you get a little concerned.
I called my pastor on the way home and asked him what he thought... He said that he never thought it was a great idea to take an infant along on a mission trip to a third world country, but that being said... he did not believe it was a threat to his life and that he woul ask me not to take him if he thought it was... He went on to say that I was an adult and had to make my own decision as Aiden's mother, but that it wasn't going to be as bad as she had made out.

I looked it up online and the average high temp in June is 90 and the average low is around 72 with and average of 70% humidity. Pastor says it is very unlikely that we will have access to any air conditioning while we are there. Now I know that temps in the 90's with that much humidity is going to be HOT HOT HOT... but not unbearable and definiately not unsurvivable for an infant.
Her argument kept being that "yeah, those kids live there, but they were born there and are climatized to it... Aiden is not!"

Soooo...., I would like to know you ladies opinions on this. I want your honest thoughts, don't worry about hurting my feelings.... its not like you have to face me IRL. Also... if any of you have any experience with anything like this I will gladly accept your advice.

I just figured that my fellow DS mamas would who follow the more natural lifestyle as I do, would have better thoughts/advice/etc than the convience minded, fast paced, follow the masses type people I am surrounded by here

So my question is: Do you think I am being irresponsible and severly risking my 4 month old's life by taking him into a hot, remote, third world country for 6 days in June?


JESUS LOVING Wife to Les, Full-Time Mama to Naomi (17) Elijah (11) Ian (8) Jake/Xander/Rachel (7yr old triplets) Aiden (5) and Benjamin (2) ....Homebirthing, EBF, ERF, CD'ing, BW'ing, HS'ing, Co-Sleeping, No-Circ, No Vax, 3 natural VBAC Mama. & now I am a CPST!!!!
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Old 05-28-2008, 11:19 PM   #2
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Re: A lady in my church says I am going to KILL my baby!!!

Honestly, I think it will be fine. He may nurse like crazy to make up for what he sweats out and you'll want to make sure that YOU stay hydrated, but humans are adaptable animals and 6 days isn't really that long. Good luck and have fun!

ETA and shame on that woman for questioning the decisions you are making for your child. It would be different (IMO) if she had personal experience and was trying to share that with you in a respectful manner. But even if she was trying to express concern, she went about it all wrong!
Anne crunchy mama to Olivia Grace (01.14.04), Elliott Quinn (10.04.07) and Phoebe Kate (08.16.09). Proud Step-Mom to Isaac (01.01.01). Happy wife to Mike.
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Last edited by joyfulsoul; 05-28-2008 at 11:23 PM.
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Old 05-28-2008, 11:23 PM   #3
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Re: A lady in my church says I am going to KILL my baby!!!

I'm pretty much on the same page as your pastor. I don't think it's a good idea, but I don't think you're imposing a death sentence.
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Old 05-28-2008, 11:25 PM   #4
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Re: A lady in my church says I am going to KILL my baby!!!

I wouldn't want to take him only because he's not used to that type of weather and it will affect him differently than the children who have lived their all their lives. 6 days would be a long time away from a baby that small, i really am not sure what i'd do mama, i probably wouldn't even go this trip so you can continue to bf the baby on demand and not possibly put him in harms way unintentionally
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Old 05-28-2008, 11:25 PM   #5
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Re: A lady in my church says I am going to KILL my baby!!!

I think that women was completely out of line telling you that you'd be killing your child.
I don't think I would be comfortable bringing an infant with me to a third world country. Those kids are climatized to it and are also used to any bugs that are normal over there that we don't have. He may catch something really bad but so may you. That being said you will be back in the states and we have a lot of advanced technology to help get over nasty bugs.
So in short my honest opinion is no I would not take a baby there. HTH
Christy mommy to Alexia 12/27/06 AndLillian 7/10/09
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Old 05-28-2008, 11:28 PM   #6
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Re: A lady in my church says I am going to KILL my baby!!!

personally I would not go... that being said I am appualed that somone would say that to you! I'm discusted with this woman. who is she to tell you ANY of that. shes kinda got my blood boiling. I think he will be fine. and what a great story your boy has when he grows up
Jonita wife to Eric SAHMommy to Graceen 6/9/04, Mackenzie 2/27/08
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Old 05-28-2008, 11:30 PM   #7
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Re: A lady in my church says I am going to KILL my baby!!!

i would probably not take a child that young to a climate he is not used to, in an area that remote for 6 days. it would make me very nervous. i'd also worry about what would happen if *i* got sick or something & wasn't able to produce enough milk to meet his body's demands (as i bet he will need more to stay hydrated).

i do think the woman should have minded her own business, or if she knew you well at least offered her opinion in a more helpful, benign way.

i am sure you will make the best decision for you & your baby!

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Old 05-28-2008, 11:30 PM   #8
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Re: A lady in my church says I am going to KILL my baby!!!

WTG for you

IMO, you're not risking his life. I assume he will have to be fully vaccinated to enter D.R.? (for give me if I'm ignorant on the "requirements" of traveling abroad) About the only things that I would be concerned with are the contagious diseases that he might be exposed to -- so I think that is where my focus would be, not the heat/humidity.

Hopefully, someone else has experience in keeping a LO cool in the heat/humidity.

Wife to Lee since 8/95 and mom to Eryn 9/03 & Emily 1/06
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Old 05-28-2008, 11:32 PM   #9
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Re: A lady in my church says I am going to KILL my baby!!!

I question why you feel you have to go on this mission trip right now with Aiden at this age. Surely there will be opportunities for you to go at a later time, when your son's ability to tolerate the climate or environment of your destination will not be an issue - or even when you are able to leave him for 6 days to go by yourself.

Personally, I would not consider taking my 4.5 month old, and I would not go on the trip. Do I think you will kill him? No, but I do think you are very much underestimating the kind of stress that sort of heat will be on both of you, especially since you will need to adequately hydrate both him and yourself.
Smitten mama to & proud creator of Margo Dora, who arrived August 14, 2007.
Expecting our second in early June, 2011.

We should remember that if a situation cannot be changed, there's no point in worrying about it. If it can be changed, there is no need to worry about it either, we should simply go about changing it. His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

Last edited by Rosella; 05-28-2008 at 11:37 PM.
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Old 05-28-2008, 11:34 PM   #10
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Re: A lady in my church says I am going to KILL my baby!!!

sort answer: no, you're not being irresponsible.

longer answer: while i would not opt ot bring my child, the truth is, i probably wouldnt opt to go in the first place. You seem like a very spiritual person, and I don't believe you made this decision without praying about it first, am i right? As long as you have clean water and adequate food, theres nothing wrong with taking your son. (if im being ignorant about the water and food thing, its because as an american, we're kind of led to believe that everything not HERE, is a 3rd world country, lol. So if clean water and food is not an issue, and only the heat is, forgive my dumbess!)
Artie -- wife to Bryan natural birthing, cosleeping, CDing, non-vaxxing, non-circ'ing mommy to Riley Thomas 3/22/08 and Abbey Raine10/6/11
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