"Bad" parenting or just different?

[Kestlyn]

Oh...my babies are always in T shirts and shorts too. As little ones they were always in blankets though...but we all run a little hot down here in the south and like to feel cool.

[LilyGrace]

I agree with the pp - not exactly bad, but different. I might bring up the car seat, though. Extended sitting in that position isn't good for babies - it puts stress on parts of the spine for a long period of time and can mess with alignment.

[Weezy6703]

just different. I don't agree with the feeding thing but i wouldn't start a war on it either.

with the way she dresses...i know my lo sweats alot so he's luck to even get a tank or anything on with his diaper. many nights all he goes to bed in is a diaper but that's because he gets very hot and sweaty.

if she's not putting her in danger (like not being right there with the proppped bottle. if she's sitting right there and has the bottle propped then that's different she can at least m onitor her child's safety as opposed to being out of the room she wouldn't be able to tell as quick should something go wrong) then i wouldn't mention anything.

[~sarah~]

Let me try to address some of the questions while I have a minute:

~It's hard for me to be very hands-on with Amy (like feeding her) since most of my time is spent trying to keep up with Sean. I can't imagine how hard it must be for moms of 2 LOs so close in age!

~She claims that Amy prefers to eat by herself. That she likes it better being left alone in her carseat w/the bottle propped up. I think that's BS and that Becky (the SD) prefers it so she can go out and smoke and talk on the phone. What 3.5 month old doesn't prefer to be held?

~I've mentioned things like holding her to feed her and changing diapers more often but that's when she says things like that Amy prefers to eat alone and that she used to change her after every pee but that was just too often and she went through too many diapers that way. See this post.

~She mostly wears long pants and t-shirts or sweatshirts in the house. She says that they have a lot of baby clothes and I've offered her some of Sean's old gender neutral clothes but she doesn't seem interested.

I don't know how to tell someone to parent differently. She has complained that her SIL acts like she's such a better parent and always tells her how to take care of her baby and it makes her mad.

[starsandlollipops]

IMO- it's her child and she can/will raise her how she sees fit. It may not be a 'style' you or I or anyone else agrees with, but that's her child.

I know when you live w/ someone you're not fond of (from the sound of it) it can be hard, and little things get on your nerves, things that aren't a *really* big deal. I lived w/ my mom and step dad, and he picked on the way I 'parented' DD, and that DID NOT go over well. Plus, he doesn't even have kids, so whose he to say anything.

Just remember she's a first time mom, a new mom. Do you recall how 'unsure' of things you were in the beginning?

ETA: I DEF. think that putting a bottle in baby's mouth and walking away is NOT safe.. I'm not saying the above to that, but to the other stuff

[srfbluemama]

Originally Posted by ~sarah~ ~She claims that Amy prefers to eat by herself. That she likes it better being left alone in her carseat w/the bottle propped up. I think that's BS and that Becky (the SD) prefers it so she can go out and smoke and talk on the phone. What 3.5 month old doesn't prefer to be held? ~I've mentioned things like holding her to feed her and changing diapers more often but that's when she says things like that Amy prefers to eat alone and that she used to change her after every pee but that was just too often and she went through too many diapers that way. See this post. I don't know how to tell someone to parent differently. She has complained that her SIL acts like she's such a better parent and always tells her how to take care of her baby and it makes her mad.

I think you're right--I think the excuse that the baby likes to eat alone is pure BS and just an attempt to justify it. Bottle propping can be dangerous, especially if she's not there to make sure the baby is OK while she's eating. The other stuff I don't think is too big of a deal, unless the baby is really cold or is getting rashes. I can totally see how this could be a delicate situation--how DOES one suggest different parenting methods to someone who doesn't really want the advice?

[WhatWasIThinking]

Originally Posted by srfbluemama I think you're right--I think the excuse that the baby likes to eat alone is pure BS and just an attempt to justify it. Bottle propping can be dangerous, especially if she's not there to make sure the baby is OK while she's eating. The other stuff I don't think is too big of a deal, unless the baby is really cold or is getting rashes. I can totally see how this could be a delicate situation--how DOES one suggest different parenting methods to someone who doesn't really want the advice?

I agree, total BS!

[MamaToBe84]

i really think the bottle propping is a problem, IMO. the other stuff... eh, i could live wiht, but to leave a child ALONE with a propped bottle is not a good idea, somoene needs to tell her that, because its just fact, the child needs to be watched for choking. (but if you're going to do that, why not just hold the kid? thats what i dont get, but oh well)

[TempoHasPaws]

Bottle propping is VERY dangerous, I personally know of a baby that has drown from this "method" or whatever you want to call it, it's disgusting.

[StacyW]

My son slept in a "punkin" seat for the first 6 months of his life. He had reflux and loved his seat. He ate in it (when we intro'd baby food/cereal) and enjoyed being in it. I don't see it really as being any different than mama's who put their kids in a vibrate seat to nap.

I do however think at that age the baby should be held to eat....