Temper tantrums in 5yo? - Cloth Diapers & Parenting Community

MamaEli · 06-18-2008, 04:57 PM

I've almost had it here. DS is almost 5yo, and for the last week has been throwing TERRIBLE temper tantrums. Imagine a toddler---laying on the floor, screaming, lots of tears, kicking his feet--the whole works.
This usually comes after being told no. As in, no you can't go play at your freind's house right now. No, can't watch TV. No, we can't go to the pool right now.
I'm at my wits' end---my patience is shot.
Some facts to consider---I'm due with baby3 in two weeks. He says he's excited, and it always patting my tummy, giving it kisses and hugs, trying to make up the bassinet, talking about baby, wanting me to read books about babies, etc.
He has been watching more TV than usual lately, mainly due to my tiredness. But we always get out, usually to the pool or playground during the day.
We've had snacks in the house more than usual, but it's usually pretzels, potato chips, but there is stuff with HCFS. We've never been HCFS free, though, so it's not like he's getting something he's not had.
This is not happening usually because he's tired or hungry. It can be when he first wakes up, after breakfast, after snack, etc.
*sigh* anyone else experience this?

Edited to add: He's usually very sweet, cooperative, kind and loving. Very active, very physical, but a really "good" child. This is very unlike him....

nini02 · 06-18-2008, 05:07 PM

My first guess is that he senses that the baby will be here soon. From what I've read & heard, it's common for kids to "regress" or become more difficult right before the birth of a new sibling. I haven't dealt with it personally yet, so I don't really have much advice. There's a great essay on tantrums here:

http://www.mothering.com/articles/gr.../tantrums.html

Monkeytaylz · 06-18-2008, 05:08 PM

Oh my goodness,YES! My ds is 4 1/2 and lately the tantrums are horrible!! And he is into everything. If I tell him no when he wants something, he will try to get it anyhow no matter how high I put it! And high pitched screaming and stomping...arrggghhhh!!! My sweet little boy has turned into a tantrum throwing monster! I don't recall my 2 older dd (22 & 18) pushing the limits so much. And then throw a whining,clingy 2 yr old dd in there and I am about to pull my hair out some days!
I m trying not to give into him and just ride out the tantrums hoping he will learn they get him no where, but it really does get a bit embarressing in the grocery store at checkout time when my son is screaming over being told no when he asks for gum, candy, or whatever is in reach!

Guardandolaluna · 06-18-2008, 05:11 PM

I think it sounds like he has cabin fever. Boys are more physical. I was told this by a friend of mine with boys and it was the best info I was ever given as there are no boys in my family! Is there someone who can take him to the park and let him run around or maybe a play area? TBH, if you are tired I would try that and get a few good movies you know he'll love and give yourself some down time. I know it can be hard. My DS was stir crazy near the end of my last pregnancy.

MamaEli · 06-18-2008, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nini02

My first guess is that he senses that the baby will be here soon. From what I've read & heard, it's common for kids to "regress" or become more difficult right before the birth of a new sibling. I haven't dealt with it personally yet, so I don't really have much advice. There's a great essay on tantrums here:

http://www.mothering.com/articles/gr.../tantrums.html

It's a great article, I read it a few months ago. I've done that, but I've also sent him to his room. Thanks for the great link, though!

jewelzbird · 06-18-2008, 05:22 PM

I used to nanny a family with a very similar situation. It sucks!! So sorry! I remember that dad saying once "I want my sweet baby boy back!" But it turned out to be a phase that passed. They tried not to set him off without letting him know that was what they were doing. If he knew he had that kind of control he would have abused it! But they tried giving other options. As in "Not right now, but after we eat, (or whatever...go shopping...you help with the blah blah) you can watch TV (have the special snack whatever it is)." They also talked to him when he was calm and set ground rules that if he has a fit the answer is automatically no. We can make a deal if you use big boy words, but if you freak out all bets are off. It helped. they also tried to ignore the behavior once it began. Stating what they see and then ignoring it. As in " i see you have made a choice to have a fit so I can not talk to you about this until you calm down." Then ignore it. Much easier said than done i know! Oh an dthen after the fit the talk it out...what you felt, he felt...how you want it to go next time. Give him the words he could have used instead of a fit. Good luck!!

Great book:
How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk

06-18-2008, 04:57 PM	#1
MamaEli Registered Users Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,177 Ratings: 18 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Temper tantrums in 5yo? I've almost had it here. DS is almost 5yo, and for the last week has been throwing TERRIBLE temper tantrums. Imagine a toddler---laying on the floor, screaming, lots of tears, kicking his feet--the whole works. This usually comes after being told no. As in, no you can't go play at your freind's house right now. No, can't watch TV. No, we can't go to the pool right now. I'm at my wits' end---my patience is shot. Some facts to consider---I'm due with baby3 in two weeks. He says he's excited, and it always patting my tummy, giving it kisses and hugs, trying to make up the bassinet, talking about baby, wanting me to read books about babies, etc. He has been watching more TV than usual lately, mainly due to my tiredness. But we always get out, usually to the pool or playground during the day. We've had snacks in the house more than usual, but it's usually pretzels, potato chips, but there is stuff with HCFS. We've never been HCFS free, though, so it's not like he's getting something he's not had. This is not happening usually because he's tired or hungry. It can be when he first wakes up, after breakfast, after snack, etc. sigh anyone else experience this? Edited to add: He's usually very sweet, cooperative, kind and loving. Very active, very physical, but a really "good" child. This is very unlike him.... __________________ 8 years with my Hubby. Finally a SAHM to 5 yo DS and 22 month old DD and brand new DD Last edited by MamaEli; 06-18-2008 at 05:00 PM.

06-18-2008, 05:07 PM	#2
nini02 Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Blue Earth County Posts: 8,208 Ratings: 216 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Temper tantrums in 5yo? My first guess is that he senses that the baby will be here soon. From what I've read & heard, it's common for kids to "regress" or become more difficult right before the birth of a new sibling. I haven't dealt with it personally yet, so I don't really have much advice. There's a great essay on tantrums here: http://www.mothering.com/articles/gr.../tantrums.html __________________ Stephanie, mommy to Avery and Iona Swagbucks / ZoomBucks / Varolo

06-18-2008, 05:08 PM	#3
Monkeytaylz Registered Users Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Spokane, wa Posts: 3,338 Ratings: 265 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Temper tantrums in 5yo? Oh my goodness,YES! My ds is 4 1/2 and lately the tantrums are horrible!! And he is into everything. If I tell him no when he wants something, he will try to get it anyhow no matter how high I put it! And high pitched screaming and stomping...arrggghhhh!!! My sweet little boy has turned into a tantrum throwing monster! I don't recall my 2 older dd (22 & 18) pushing the limits so much. And then throw a whining,clingy 2 yr old dd in there and I am about to pull my hair out some days! I m trying not to give into him and just ride out the tantrums hoping he will learn they get him no where, but it really does get a bit embarressing in the grocery store at checkout time when my son is screaming over being told no when he asks for gum, candy, or whatever is in reach! __________________ Kellie~mama to 5,(ages 28,23, 9 , and 7 & 4 , nanna to 2 little girls 8 angels never in my arms but forever in my heart Teeny Little Super Guy is now 3!!!! Diapers, trainers, & doll items NOW Open! MonkeysAndAngels

06-18-2008, 05:11 PM	#4
Guardandolaluna Registered Users Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: El Paso, TX Posts: 3,306 Ratings: 89 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Temper tantrums in 5yo? I think it sounds like he has cabin fever. Boys are more physical. I was told this by a friend of mine with boys and it was the best info I was ever given as there are no boys in my family! Is there someone who can take him to the park and let him run around or maybe a play area? TBH, if you are tired I would try that and get a few good movies you know he'll love and give yourself some down time. I know it can be hard. My DS was stir crazy near the end of my last pregnancy. __________________ Kristi - Wife to Claudio and homeschooling SAHM to 4kids

06-18-2008, 05:22 PM	#6
jewelzbird Registered Users Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Bay Area, CA Posts: 2,182 Ratings: 142 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Temper tantrums in 5yo? I used to nanny a family with a very similar situation. It sucks!! So sorry! I remember that dad saying once "I want my sweet baby boy back!" But it turned out to be a phase that passed. They tried not to set him off without letting him know that was what they were doing. If he knew he had that kind of control he would have abused it! But they tried giving other options. As in "Not right now, but after we eat, (or whatever...go shopping...you help with the blah blah) you can watch TV (have the special snack whatever it is)." They also talked to him when he was calm and set ground rules that if he has a fit the answer is automatically no. We can make a deal if you use big boy words, but if you freak out all bets are off. It helped. they also tried to ignore the behavior once it began. Stating what they see and then ignoring it. As in " i see you have made a choice to have a fit so I can not talk to you about this until you calm down." Then ignore it. Much easier said than done i know! Oh an dthen after the fit the talk it out...what you felt, he felt...how you want it to go next time. Give him the words he could have used instead of a fit. Good luck!! Great book: How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk __________________ "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching"