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Old 06-19-2008, 03:16 PM   #1
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My twins are tearing me apart!

My daughters who turned two in January are driving me nuts! They were great kids, usually happy, loved to play with eachother, TOOK NAPS. Now, Oh now it's a TOTALLY different story. They are talking back to me ("no!"), everytime they're playing quietly it ends in disaster usually in a rage with one another. Oh, the biting! They bite eachother, and leave bruises all over each other! It looks like they're abused or soemthing! They usually get up around 8am, around noon they USED to take a nap, now NO WAY. They stay up and are COMPLETELY miserable! Now, they used to go to bed at 8pm, with napping. Now, no way. They never actually fall asleep until well after 11pm and they stilll get up at 8am! They have been EXTREMELY whiney.

I'm going nuts! I'm starting to get wore out, I just want to hide when they wake up. No matter what kind of punishments they get, they DONT LISTEN.

Oh, and diapers. They refuse to go in the potty, but they refuse to wear diapers. At night I'll put them in one, and they'll take it off, I'll put it on, they'll take it off.

UGH, HELP ME PLEASE! I'm one stressed out mama! What can I do to keep my sanity and make my children behave a little better?

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Old 06-19-2008, 04:40 PM   #2
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Re: My twins are tearing me apart!

I am not much help, I have a 2 yr old going through the same thing! I know its a phase and it will get better...or at least change. I hope some of the other mamas have some advice from you.

I know what i've learned with my little one, I just have to stay constant with the rules and punishment. If I say he can't do something or he will get a timeout, I have to be sure to follow through...everytime. Otherwise he learns that he can get away with things.
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Old 06-19-2008, 06:29 PM   #3
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Re: My twins are tearing me apart!

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Originally Posted by Poohb10454 View Post

I know what i've learned with my little one, I just have to stay constant with the rules and punishment. If I say he can't do something or he will get a timeout, I have to be sure to follow through...everytime. Otherwise he learns that he can get away with things.
Exactly! We are going throught the terrible twos right now and there are days that I want to rip my hair out. We just started time outs and DD is a smart cookie she knows what they are and listens pretty well with them, but recently she hasn't been following one rule in thie house.

Here we have a three striek rule. I will give three warnings and then it is time out for two minutes (I have been known to do five If she has done that thing more than once...that is generally for our saity though ) It seems to slowly be getting better...but that wasn't before she had 14 times outs in one day

**no flames I know that is a lot**
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Old 06-20-2008, 01:57 AM   #4
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Re: My twins are tearing me apart!

I'd say change your focus.

Right now, you're focused on what they did. Keep a goal in mind of what you want instead.

There's bedtime issues. Right now they need sleep, right? You want them to be healthy, happy children who aren't overly tired. Punishment won't get you that goal, but maybe other things will - like a new routine, being consistent with laying them down, enforcing a quiet period, toddler yoga before hand....these all are conducive to sleep.

Biting. You want them to learn to communicate with each other effectively. So in order to do that, you need to be right there most times, reinforce their signs, help them through their disagreements so they don't resort to biting because they have these mad skillz that work even better. Make sure they having teething toys handy and the instructions to bite them, not sissy.

Saying no. Again, you want them to communicate well, but you also need them to do what you ask when it's important. Pick your battles and word your requests so 'no' isn't an option.

And get some time to yourself, if at all possible. When you're not sleep deprived and have had a break, the minor things become just that - minor. They're two year old things that aren't going to continue through high school. And it will get better.
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Old 06-20-2008, 01:59 AM   #5
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Re: My twins are tearing me apart!

I hear ya! My 2yo is the same way somedays. She has her good days and she has her bad. Step outside for a second (get someone to watch the kiddos) and just breathe. Deep breaths and count to 10. It helps, trust me. In the meantime, big hugs.
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Old 06-20-2008, 02:28 AM   #6
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Re: My twins are tearing me apart!

Ok so maybe none of my suggestions will actually help but I know how you feel, I had one of those days today.
What would give you some sanity but make you look crazy:
1) Lock them in a room together to play where they can be safe and ignore the fighting when you need a break.
2) Duct tape the diapers on. LOl I know these may not be realistic, but seriously there is nothing wrong with locking your kids in a room to get some sanity for a little while, so long as it doesn't become neglectful.
My midwife recommended it after we had LO#2 and DD was driving us crazy. I felt bad the first few times but it is amazing what 15 minutes can do for your sanity.
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Old 06-20-2008, 08:04 AM   #7
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Re: My twins are tearing me apart!

I could never imagine locking my kid(s) in a room, especially at such a young age

Here we have a three strike rule like Grace and he will get a time out if he gets all three strikes. Then we do a 2 minute time out. Certain things are not tolerated at all, such as hitting, biting etc. Those are straight to time out. I always tell him why he's going to time out and after his time is up I remind him of why he was in time out. Then he apologizes and goes on to play.

But in your case they honestly could be acting up because they are getting so little sleep! Like you said they are whiny and fighting. I would just enforce naptime/bedtime. Establish a routine. You are their mom and they have to learn to listen to you. If they get up after you put them in bed, I would just continue putting them back to bed without saying a word to them (yes I watch Supernanny).

Eventually they will get the hint and stay in bed. I recently went through something similar with Jayden (except he was taking extremely short naps, going to sleep late at night and waking up early) and within a week he was back to regular naps and normal sleeping hours. Your girls are 2 months older then my son and I would SOOOOO be ripping out my hair if he didn't nap!!

Our routine is like this:

8:00- 8:15 AM wake up
Change diaper/Brush teeth
8:45 breakfast
9:00-12:30 relax/play/read etc/snack (somewhere around 10:30 to 11)
12:30 lunch
1:30 nap
Then I will let him nap until he gets up (as long as it's been AT LEAST 1.5 hrs, if not I put him back into bed and tuck him in and tell him its not time to get up yet because he will still be cranky with anything less. He usually falls back to sleep) If he doesnt wake up by 4 I wake him up because if I don't he will not sleep at night.
4:00 relax/play/read etc/snack
6:30 dinner
afterwards relax/play/read etc
8:30 bath/lotion
8:45 milk & storytime
9:15ish brush teeth/prayers/kisses/tuck him in
9:30 lights out

That's what works best for us.

As for the diapers, try the duct tape if you use sposies. Or maybe putting the diapers on backwards? I haven't gone through this yet but Jayden always has pant/shorts with a shirt on (or if its hot then just a onesie) at all times so he can't open his diaper

Sorry this is so long but I really hope it was some help to you. It must be so hard to be a mom of 3 LO's under 3!!

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Old 06-22-2008, 02:13 PM   #8
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Re: My twins are tearing me apart!

Thanks everyone, I'm glad that I'm not the only one going through this horrible phase! LOL. I'm definitely trying some of the things you guys suggested, thanks for all the help!
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Old 06-22-2008, 02:18 PM   #9
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Re: My twins are tearing me apart!

Yeah, my DD is the same age as your twins and we are going through the same. Driving me NUTS!! I am finding that when she doesn't get enough sleep, it is HORRIBLE! She is just so much more pleasant (as am I) when she takes a nap. I think sleep needs to be the first thing to work on. Get that going well and I believe everything else will be easier!
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Old 06-22-2008, 02:33 PM   #10
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Re: My twins are tearing me apart!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyGrace View Post
I'd say change your focus.

Right now, you're focused on what they did. Keep a goal in mind of what you want instead.

There's bedtime issues. Right now they need sleep, right? You want them to be healthy, happy children who aren't overly tired. Punishment won't get you that goal, but maybe other things will - like a new routine, being consistent with laying them down, enforcing a quiet period, toddler yoga before hand....these all are conducive to sleep.

Biting. You want them to learn to communicate with each other effectively. So in order to do that, you need to be right there most times, reinforce their signs, help them through their disagreements so they don't resort to biting because they have these mad skillz that work even better. Make sure they having teething toys handy and the instructions to bite them, not sissy.

Saying no. Again, you want them to communicate well, but you also need them to do what you ask when it's important. Pick your battles and word your requests so 'no' isn't an option.

And get some time to yourself, if at all possible. When you're not sleep deprived and have had a break, the minor things become just that - minor. They're two year old things that aren't going to continue through high school. And it will get better.

gotta say, i LOVE these suggestions.
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