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Old 06-20-2008, 12:33 PM   #1
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when do you know when you're *done* having babies?

i have 3 LO's now- my oldest dd will be 5 in sept and starting kindergarten , my ds will be 3 in less than 2 weeks and baby girl is already 3 months (today). dh and i have been talking about #4. right after 2nd dd was born, i swore i'd never have 3 preschoolers again, but now that we've adjusted to our schedule, why not add one more? my dh will deploy in jan and (hopefully) be back in june/july. i'm thinking of getting pg again in nov/dec so that i'll be due in aug/sept. he's thinking of applying for a master's program through the marine corps, so he probably won't deploy again.
anyway, do you ever feel done? some days, i admit, i feel somewhat overwhelmed with just 3, but then i still don't feel like our family is complete. i do think 4 is our limit though.
so those of you who are done having kids, what made your decision? was it just financial or feeling like you couldn't care for more emotionally (without taking away from the others)? financially we can afford it. is there ever a 'satisfied' done feeling?

it doesn't help that #3 has been, by far, my easiest baby

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Old 06-20-2008, 12:45 PM   #2
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Re: when do you know when you're *done* having babies?

I think you know when you are "done" I knew after my last MISERABLE pregnancy we were done. My DH also was feeling the same way, I think that is a clue, when you are both feeling that way. He was actually reluctant to have our 2nd (his 4th though) but now that he is wrapped around her ity bity finger he wouldn't give her up for the world. Anyways I got snipped during my c-section and they asked me like 5 times was I sure, yes I'm sure. When you know, you know. Unless you do something permanent like I did you can always change your mind though,(it's our perogative as women ya know ).
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Old 06-20-2008, 12:55 PM   #3
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Re: when do you know when you're *done* having babies?

Everytime I think I'm "done" I miss that feeling of having an itty bitty baby again....They grow up WAY too fast! It felt like one day I found out I was preg w/ youngest DD, the next she was born, and then 3mos..., 6mos..., now teething (no teeth yet just bumps on gums, drooling and everything in the mouth!)

I think of how fast she is growing and realize that my oldest is almost 10!

I don't know if I will ever truely feel "done". I love my kids...my situation is not quite ideal but we make due! It is situational at this point for us...I work outside of the home with no feasable way to stay home right now....and I feel truely out numbered some days!
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Old 06-20-2008, 01:09 PM   #4
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Re: when do you know when you're *done* having babies?

I am due in July with #3 and i still want another one. But I have no idea why?? I think we're wired that way. I dont know how i would manage it!!
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Old 06-21-2008, 12:38 AM   #5
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Re: when do you know when you're *done* having babies?

When menopause hits For me that is right around the corner
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Old 06-21-2008, 07:44 AM   #6
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Re: when do you know when you're *done* having babies?

i don't feel done, but dh says we are. my third has also been the easiest, happy go lucky baby...yeah it doesn't help
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Old 06-21-2008, 12:11 PM   #7
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Re: when do you know when you're *done* having babies?

I wish I knew! I have a 12 y/o and a 3 y/o. Some days I really want another one and other days I feel like I'm done. DH really wants another one though. For me, I guess I'm scared to let myself really want another one because it took us 5 years to get pg with DS. I'm afraid to get into that roller coaster of disappointment again. We've been not trying/not preventing since DS was born, so I suppose it's possible it could happen.
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Old 06-21-2008, 01:13 PM   #8
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Re: when do you know when you're *done* having babies?

I've been wondering the same thing. I've always expected I'd have two children, and I'm halfway there... but I've lost two pregnancies in the past seven months, and find myself wondering if we ought to try again. Part of me really wants another baby - to have the joy of all the "firsts" once more, and nursing, and snuggling. And I'd love for Sam to have a sibling. Then part of me thinks that we're doing fine as three, especially now that we're (mostly) sleeping all night and I'm not bone-tired. If we have another baby, my ideas of travelling and taking some courses as a family (like a foreign language) and improving my needlework skills will all have to be put on hold for another few years. Not to mention another 2 or 3 years of diapers!
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Old 06-21-2008, 07:53 PM   #9
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Re: when do you know when you're *done* having babies?

After my last horrible PG I knew. I was completely at peace having my tubal. I have to admit hanging around here has definately made these old raisin ovaries spasm for sure.

My oldest is 17 so being a grandma is on the horizon in 10ish years.
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Old 06-21-2008, 08:29 PM   #10
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Re: when do you know when you're *done* having babies?

I knew I was done after my 2nd m/c. We decided to try one more time and got lucky and had DS. I got sniped during the c/s, because I knew that I really, really didn't want to go through all that again.

There are somedays when I swear my ovaries are pulsating, though. There are enough people around me who are pg or just had a baby that make me realize I'm truely done having kids(and glad of it, lol).
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