when do you know when you're *done* having babies?

[MommaBunny]

I know most mamas on DS either have or want many children, but, for me personally, one is enough.

All mamas who have many children say that they love them all equally, and I think that, for most of them, that's the case. However, I see a lot of parents who show favoritism toward their eldest child, and I don't want to be "one of those people".

I know that I will never be able to love anyone as much as I love my daughter, and, as great as it would be to experience the miracle of pregnancy, childbirth, and parenthood all over again, I know intuitively that I will never be able to love someone as completely as I love my DD. I don't think it would be fair to put a child through always feeling like they're second-best, and I worry that my second or third child would feel that way.

[joanna19]

I don't know . Honestly sometimes I feel like one is good, but I was an only child and I just think it would be great for my daughter to have a brother or sister and build that kind of a relationship that I didn't get to. I watch my dh and his siblings interact and I think it is so interesting & entertaining for some reason.

So to answer the question, I have no idea. I guess you just know it your gut when you are finished.

[joanna19]

Originally Posted by MommaBunny I know most mamas on DS either have or want many children, but, for me personally, one is enough. All mamas who have many children say that they love them all equally, and I think that, for most of them, that's the case. However, I see a lot of parents who show favoritism toward their eldest child, and I don't want to be "one of those people". I know that I will never be able to love anyone as much as I love my daughter, and, as great as it would be to experience the miracle of pregnancy, childbirth, and parenthood all over again, I know intuitively that I will never be able to love someone as completely as I love my DD. I don't think it would be fair to put a child through always feeling like they're second-best, and I worry that my second or third child would feel that way.

I'm scared about the feelings you mentioned in the last bit of your post too. I think people must be able to, but I sometimes don't see how it is possible when you are in your own little bubble with your only, kwim?

[NightOwlMom]

I was on the fence until more recently. I kind of felt like I'd like to have 4 but more recently I feel like I'm done. My oldest is 6 and will be in 1st grade all day next year. I'll have my 2.5 year old and 13 month old to keep me busy. I like that my youngest is old enough to know what we're doing as a family and can participate in all that we do.

I watched a little girl who was 4 months younger than my middle child and that was when I realized that 4 might be a little bit much for me. Plus I have a nephew who is 6 months and I get my baby fix from him :P

[jmbisignano]

Oh, how I wish I knew! My friend and I were just talking about this. She's debating on having her 3rd, I'm pregnant with our 3rd... and for me, this is the first time EVER I've felt like we might be done... which almost scares me more then when I didn't feel anything!

[RebekahG77]

I have 2... DS is 27 months, DD is 6 months. I didn't think I wanted more. When she was first born, I swore I was "done." I even talked to the GYN about a tubal. But NOW (easy baby syndrome here, too) I want more, and lot of 'em!

[Lyv Naturally]

I have wondered this as well. I have 2 boys and a baby girl and things seem "perfect". We cannot afford another one but I don't really see them as an expense. I do hope that we can afford to help them with college but I am an not worrying about it at this time. I just feel like we aren't "done." But and outsider looking in would say we should be.

I know, I am no help

[Monkeytaylz]

I am not sure if we are done. My oldest 2 are 22 & 18..youngest are 2 & 4. I have had 4 miscarriages since Jan 07, and while I would love to have another, I am not sure if I can. Plus I will be 44 next month and I thought I would be done by now!