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Old 05-14-2006, 11:18 AM   #11
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Re: MIL Trying to contact bio father of our 4 yr old Help!!! I need advice

I think she is wacky, but not allowing your relatives children at your wedding seems pushing it a bit too far in my eyes. If your children will be there, then that means it is going to be kid friendly so why not let other kids come too.

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Old 05-14-2006, 12:46 PM   #12
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Re: MIL Trying to contact bio father of our 4 yr old Help!!! I need advice

The problem with kids is they each will cost $75 and this would add an additional 30 ppl to our already 150 person guest list !!! thats an extra $2400!!!!
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Old 05-14-2006, 01:53 PM   #13
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Re: MIL Trying to contact bio father of our 4 yr old Help!!! I need advice

I went though a termination last summer and I know it sounds weird but MIL may actually be doing you a small favor in trying to find him. You will have to serve bio dad court papers telling him about the termination, if you can't find him you usually have to publish the notice in the paper of his last known address (I had to pay for a back ground check and track my dd's bio dad down in another state) for 4 weeks at least and it really slows down the termination. If you can find him you may be able to get him to agree to terminate right away if you make it sound like its to his benefit, ie no more child support payments. There's also the matter of the court interview with the child as most states require it and they usually will ask the child about how they feel about the adoption and try to root out and make sure your not just hiding the child from bio dad. I had to write a letter to the court explaining how dd did not even know about bio dad and why so they were good about not confronting her directly on it. Since your DH to be will be adopting I would start the termination proceedings right now since they will take a couple months and the adoption up to a year after that depending on how busy the courts are and if bio dad puts up a fight (they usually don't).
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Old 05-14-2006, 04:33 PM   #14
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Re: MIL Trying to contact bio father of our 4 yr old Help!!! I need advice

the $75 is that for catering for the children if so i would say do what a cousin of mine did..they ordered the kids all happy meals and had a kid table for the older ones and younger sat by there parents..lol sounds corny but the kids loved it they got a toy and it was the type of food that they liked/would eat no complants from anyone...saved them alot of money
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Old 05-14-2006, 04:49 PM   #15
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Re: MIL Trying to contact bio father of our 4 yr old Help!!! I need advice

yeah i second the kids meals, or maybe some mac and cheese. lol Thats crazy they charge an adult price for kids. Find a way, there has to be one.
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Old 05-14-2006, 04:54 PM   #16
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Re: MIL Trying to contact bio father of our 4 yr old Help!!! I need advice

http://library.adoption.com/Terminat...le/8648/1.html
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Old 05-14-2006, 10:31 PM   #17
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Re: MIL Trying to contact bio father of our 4 yr old Help!!! I need advice

Thanks soooooo Much Mama's it's so helpful to hear that i'm not the only one in this situation !!!!!
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Old 05-19-2006, 09:30 PM   #18
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Re: MIL Trying to contact bio father of our 4 yr old Help!!! I need advice

i'm not in the exact situation, although had children been brought into the relationship i'm sure i would've been lol.....my MIL is super crazy (IMO, and yours i'm sure). she just loved me before then the DAY BEFORE the wedding went nutso, even said she wasn't coming!!! she had told my mom how she wanted to help out with the food for the reception (it was all being done by family) so she wanted a list of what was needed and she would pick out what to bring. she said she would do the nuts and something else. she brought like enough snack stuff for maybe a party of 10, it was ridic. my parents did everything else, and apparently traditionaly the grooms fam is supposed to take care of the reception. my uncle took care of the flowers, i wore my mom's dress, made more modern by my grandma. my dh wore a suit of my dads.....and she brought some freakin nuts. then she came to the reception and sat there for like 20 mins, got up and went home. i couldn't believe it. i even have the pic that my aunt (who was the photographer) took of me and my dh and his mom where she's giving me a crusty look. if i can figure out how to post it and you all want to see i will. anyhow me and ds#1 were supposed to move in over onto her property with my dh after the wedding (that's a long story) and my parents needed us out b/c my dad just had a stroke (the early a.m. after the wedding) and she kept saying it wasn't ready....then telling my mom that she told us it was ready for us whenever. i couldn't believe it. she's so frickin crazy, it's been like this for 3 years now. tells people that we don't let her see her grandkids and what not. even when we lived right next door. (we moved like 3 months after that, it did NOT last long lol). she talks crap about my dh, her own son. it's insane, but it's still his mama so he sometimes makes excuses for her.
the most recent lie that came outta her mouth was that she was going to ohio to see her mom who was in the phase of some heart condition, so another words she was in her death bed. and she was whining that nobody would take her grandson to and from school while she was gone (i think she's trying to get him to move back to CO). anyhow he got his g-ma's # and called there to talk to his mom after she should've been there. well she had gotten there but was out shopping so he talked to his g-ma and it turns out that there is NOTHING wrong with her heart whatsoever. i'm telling you the woman is absolutely nuts! MIL's i tell ya. i really hope i don't go nuts when my ds gets married.
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Old 05-19-2006, 09:40 PM   #19
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Re: MIL Trying to contact bio father of our 4 yr old Help!!! I need advice

Seriously , I say I will never do this to my kiddies ... She still isn't talking to us and still talking S#!* about me to the fam. DH and I think were crazy why doesnt someone come out to her and say "What are you DOING you crazy crazy women" We should open a hospital for Mentally Ill MIL'S !!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-20-2006, 03:59 AM   #20
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Re: MIL Trying to contact bio father of our 4 yr old Help!!! I need advice

IF it was me this is what i would do.
Cancel the wedding eat the lost, I believe you will end up paying wayyyyy more than $4000, and losing your home buying savings is to me not an option.
Grab some sane family members have a small wedding with those who care.

Start termination for ds1 father NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Have dh deal with his mother after you've taken these steps.
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