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Old 11-17-2006, 10:50 AM   #1
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Moms of Multis(or toddlers!)- Help me out!

I am having big time problems with my little twinadoes, and I have no idea how to handle it.

First is dd- she bites her brother HORRIBLY. She has left bruises all over his little body, its awful. It always happens when they are fighting over a toy. She has learned that by biting him she gets a big screaming response from him and he drops whatever they were fighting over to run to me. I don't know what to do, and its getting worse. So far I've just told her "no biting" in a firm voice and then turned my back on her while I comfort her brother. I don't know how else to convey the message. Today she did it and almost drew blood on his back. So I popped out the pack n play and put her in timeout. I dont know if this will do any good, but she really hated being in the pack n play. I don't know if she is making any connection between biting = timeout. What do I do, they are so little!

second is ds's SCREAMING every time he sits in his high chair to eat. It is so loud and high pitched it rattles my ears. We can no longer have any dinner conversation because we are so busy trying to shovel food into ds so he won't start screaming in our ears. It is also really bad. When he is finished eating, he will dump the rest of his food on the floor and just starts screaming. He's learned that when he does that, I take him out of the chair so now thats his signal for 'get me out'. I can't tolerate it anymore, it stresses me out so bad! He's even started giggling now when everyone cringes at it.

AHH! We still have 9 more months until they turn 2!!

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Old 11-17-2006, 11:05 AM   #2
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Re: Moms of Multis- Help me out!

Well, I'm not a mom to mutli's but my 2 are 15 months apart and I think the things you are dealing with are normal even for singletons. So..I'll offer my advice!

First off, with your DD. Biting is a very hard thing to deal with. I would definetly stick with the pack-n-play time outs. Consistency is key in dealing with any child. Also, do you let her play with the toy that started the drama after her time out? If you do then she is learning that she is still getting her way. When my kids fight over a toy I put the aggressor in time out and the toy has to do a 2 hour time out. However, in my house the aggressing goes both ways.

With your son...he has learned that the screaching earns him a positive response. He screams and throws food and you pay attention to him and take him out of his chair. If I were you I would start ignoring him. It will be very rough at first but as long as you don't give him what he wants he will learn that he has to sit nicely until it is time to get up.
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Old 11-17-2006, 11:19 AM   #3
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Re: Moms of Multis (or toddlers!) - Help me out!

I do not let her play with the toy. I usually give it to ds, but I will start putting it up. It makes me really upset to see her bite him like that. None of my other kids have been biters. They both went through a short period of biting but it was quickly resolved. With Livie it has been going on since they were about 9 months, and is just getting worse.

With ds, I don't know if I can do that. I have tried and he just doesn't stop. It really disturbs the whole family and my 4 y/o will start crying because her ears hurt from his screaming. I'm starting to think all I can do is just feed him and take him out really fast before he starts screaming. But then he runs around the house getting in to everything while the rest of us try to eat dinner.
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Old 11-17-2006, 11:33 AM   #4
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Re: Moms of Multis(or toddlers!)- Help me out!

I have only had 1 kid that ever bit and i kicked it fast. after about 2 times of her biting nd metelling her no, and it didnt wrok. the thrid time after she did it, i put my finger in a bottle of vinegar and put it in her mouth. It is a food product, so it wont hurt her but it will taste nasty, adn since biting involves the mouth, i think it is adirectrelation. My dd never bit again.

As far as screaming goes.Ilock my kids in their room when the cream likethat for no reason.Itell them that i am not going to listen to them scream, and they can scream all they want in thier own room. They usually stop quickly, or fall asleep because they are tired. Either way, it works.I dont have to hear it( as loud). I ignore temer tantrums and all of that. If they want to throw a fit,off they go to their rooms. i have things to take care of,and listening to a screaming child does not help...
I also do not have twins, but my oldets 2 are 13 months apart... so they are almost irish twins
Hang in there!!!
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Old 11-17-2006, 11:50 AM   #5
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Re: Moms of Multis(or toddlers!)- Help me out!

I suppose vinegar is better than hot sauce, which is what I've also heard of people doing. At least the vinegar just tastes bad and doesnt hurt them physically. I'll think about it. I'm about desprate about this, she just cant do it anymore. I looked at the spot she got him this morning and it is just awful. Its all raised and bruised. It breaks my heart.

I have also been putting him in his room to scream. He lays on the floor with his face in the crack and screams under the door! He is very stubborn in personality, but I haven't been completely consistent either.
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Old 11-17-2006, 12:08 PM   #6
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Re: Moms of Multis(or toddlers!)- Help me out!

Good luck.. I don't have twins, but I do have 1 child that does both of those things. lol

I just basically learned to ignore the screaming, he's looking for a reaction if you don't give him one, he'll stop. Either that or you tell him before mealtime that it's going to be mealtime very soon and if he decides he wants to scream he's going to spend mealtime in his room till he calms down. but you must follow though. I learned that time outs in her crib worked quite well for the biting. I would tell her No biting, if you bite you go to time out. She bites anyway, you better believe that's where she's going. lol

Now she's not in a crib anymore it's turned into just to her room, which is harder because of the toys. it didn't take long for her to put Biting and time out together. 14 months isn't that young. I was doing this with miranda at 11 months. lol then again at 14 months.. and now she only bites if dave wears a certian sweater. Don't ask, I got no idea why. lol but it's his choice now if he wants to be bit. lol

As for the food on the floor... Ugh.. Miranda Still does it. But she does it less. I got a mat from one step ahead, and atleast the mess was contained then. lol if you watch them carefully you'll more than likely pick up on cues that he's done before he's actually tosses it. i've learned miranda does it when she gets bored or wants down.

Like i said. Good luck!!
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Old 11-17-2006, 03:38 PM   #7
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Re: Moms of Multis(or toddlers!)- Help me out!

I only have one, and she's not much of a screamer at that. But, for what it's worth, we taught her to push her plate away when she was done. She'd get this devious look in her eye (momma's, you know the one) before the food went flying. As soon as we saw it we'd repeat to push her plate away. And then reward the desired behavior by letting her down or holding her in our lap while we finished. Giving her an easy and appropriate way to signal she was finished eating did the trick for us. Good luck!
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Old 11-18-2006, 10:38 PM   #8
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Re: Moms of Multis(or toddlers!)- Help me out!

i think the play yard is good for both of these situations.. as soon as she bites pick her up tell her no that is not nice and put her in there ... as soon as he screams put the spoon down make sure he doesn't have food in his mouth and put him in the play yard.. just be consistent...
(oh i don't have twins) but i do have a toddler who was once a pretoddler LOL
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Old 11-19-2006, 09:57 AM   #9
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Re: Moms of Multis(or toddlers!)- Help me out!

My DD was a biter also, I finally started putting her arm in her own mouth when she would bite someone (usually me) and tell her if she wants to bite she can bite herself. She would but never very hard, just enough to leave a mark for a few mins. But it gave her a way to get out her frustration. Definately put the toy in question away for a while as well.

My2nd DD is a screamer and we haven't been able to kick it. She doesn't scream out of anger or frustration, she simply thinks it is funny. And my ODD just encourages it by laughing and squealing allong. So I don't know what to say except get some ear plugs, or have a nice stiff drink so it doesn't annoy you so much. JK I think
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Old 11-19-2006, 10:55 AM   #10
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Re: Moms of Multis(or toddlers!)- Help me out!

can't help ya with the biting, but on the pushing food off the tray thing...

1) teach him a sign that means "all done." at my house it's waving both hands in the air. it's an early version of "may i please be excused" and no one leaves the table without asking nicely - non-verbal toddlers included. give him a different way of telling you he's done and i bet he won't feel the need to scream anymore. he wants your attention, he's trying to communicate his needs, and he doesn't know any other way that works.

2) we have some bowls that stick to the tray. it's not like glue, they can get them off, but it usually gives me time to notice he's trying to remove it before it hits the floor.

3) at that age i only give them very small amounts of food at a time, so there's never a huge mess if they do dump it. and discovering textures and playing with a little food is part of the learning process, so i don't get too worried about it.

i found with both my kids that teaching them signs they can use to communicate things with me before they could really talked helped them tremendously and reduced all screaming and tantrums considerably. it's very frustrating wanting to communicate and not being able to, if you give them the "words" in the form of signs, they'll use those more and will feel the need to scream less. i wouldn't ignore him - he's trying to tell you something the only way he knows how - give him a more socially acceptable way of communicating what he needs. then everyone will be happier!
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