Diaper Swappers

mistylaureena · 11-18-2006, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillkuster

typing 1 handed while I nurse.
The grandma was given my phone number as a contact person, and she is calling tomorrow to leave a message for Jackie.
I'm so going to fill her in. That is such a good suggestion.
Thank you.
And what if she dosen't call......I guess I get the number from my inlaws and call her myself......
I'm hating this crap.

she probably will call...cuz she probably "knows" her daughter is a drunk...parents know that kind of stuff unless they are in denial...hopefullly shes not a drunk too?? But I would call her for sure if she doesnt call you...for sure...Growing up my dad was an addict and it ahrd being a child of that...luckily though my mom was a straght cat never even drank alcohol, so we had her. if both parents were as bad as dad, i would be really f'ed up...but if the grandma is not ver "receptive" I would call CPS --no quesiton about it!! SOmeone needs to know for sure before it could be to late!!

jillkuster · 11-18-2006, 10:37 PM

I agree. If the grandma seems weird at all, I'm not letting Sky go home. Period.
And by the way, when I had the girls in the tub tonight, Skylar told Lucia that she was not going to keep her mom and dad, but she was going to make me and Eli her mom and Dad.

mistylaureena · 11-18-2006, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillkuster

I agree. If the grandma seems weird at all, I'm not letting Sky go home. Period.

Just be VERY careful how you word to them that you are not letting her go home, cuz you dont want them calling the cops saying you kidnapped her...make sure you always cover yourself...ykwim??

jillkuster · 11-19-2006, 12:59 AM

I was one Mothering.com a minute ago, and someones siggy said this under it
When we have children we either are woken to our past to help us heal, or we are oblivious to the pain and we inflict it on our children.~Jacqueline Wood
I sat around all night talking to Eli about this situation and he said "Do you really expect the world to be a lovely place where this kind of thing dosen't happen." I thought about it and said "I guess I expect that when you have a child, your instinct kicks in and you care for your child."
When I read her siggy it all clicked for me. Weird how that happens.

daizydoo · 11-19-2006, 01:18 AM

That is really a bad situation and I will be praying for her and her parents. My cousin was in a similar situation when she was younger. The mom, my cousins wife was an alcoholic and they were divorced and had shared custody but lived in different states so the mom had them basically the whole year minus a few weeks. Anyways my cousin tried to get full custody claiming the mom unfit with her drinking and all and the courts upheld the custody arrangements even though cps had been called by her neighbors concerning her drinking. Unfortunately it did not work out for the 2 little girls ages 6 and 8. Their mom went out drinking one night and left them home alone and the power went out so they lit candles and the house caught fire and the youngest ended up with severe burns on both arms,upper back and one leg. I was 17 at the time and she came to live with us for awhile and I just remembet the healing process and therapy. It seems at times that the parents get too many chances when it comes to their kids. I didn't write this to upset you, just to say you are right in how you are feeling and to call who ever you need to to bring this to their attention. I don't think you can be too cautious when it comes to children but their is a fine line like pp said about being careful how you word things. Prayers for you also and the family

jillkuster · 11-19-2006, 01:54 AM

Thanks for posting that Daisy.....
I am feeling really torn about my very intense reaction to this situation. I have no measuring stick to judge with since it's not something I would ever put my own kids through, and I've not had parents who drank.
Part of me feels like a judgmental b****.
And another part of me is just floored that anyone would do this even when they are hurting.
I'm totally having Eli read your post...cause he thinks I get high and mighty in the proper parenting department. Hurmph.
It's also good that I have this as an outlet, cause I agree that I need to use caution when talking to the mom. It's been good to vent pre-conversation so I can be clear and calm tomorrow.

Marielblewis · 11-19-2006, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistylaureena

When she calls later....cuz she will when she sobers up later....you need to tell her that you dont feel comfortable taking Skylar over there until she seeks some help...she will yell and be mad and you have to stand firm and tell her you are not taking her child, but are not going to knowing put Skylar in a possibly dangerous situation and tell her that she needs to seek help and that you will ahev to take nessecary steps in calling the authorites if she doesnt figure it out...

The problem with this is that it is kidnapping. If you feel the child would be in danger you should call CPS, but you have no legal right to keep the child from her mother. Only the court system has the right to do that. While I understand your and even agree, you cannot just do what you want with ohter people's kids. If you cannot return the child to her mother you HAVE to call CPS.

Sweet_Fantasy_Fox · 11-19-2006, 11:08 PM

thats terrible

mistylaureena · 11-19-2006, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marielblewis

The problem with this is that it is kidnapping. If you feel the child would be in danger you should call CPS, but you have no legal right to keep the child from her mother. Only the court system has the right to do that. While I understand your and even agree, you cannot just do what you want with ohter people's kids. If you cannot return the child to her mother you HAVE to call CPS.

I do agree with you that it sounds like kidnapping . howeverm, I know that you dont have to give a child backto a dangerous and psossibly life thrathen situation, after that phone call I would call the police of take the child down to the police staition...or call the police and ask thgeir advice for teh situation....but you cant just knowing give a child back to someone who can potentially harm it...or call cps as soon as she wants the child back, and tell them you hav ethe child in your care and they need to investigate this...tell them to come over

11-18-2006, 10:37 PM	#22
jillkuster Registered Users Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Iowa Posts: 660 Ratings: 32 Feedback: 100%	Re: what would you do..... I agree. If the grandma seems weird at all, I'm not letting Sky go home. Period. And by the way, when I had the girls in the tub tonight, Skylar told Lucia that she was not going to keep her mom and dad, but she was going to make me and Eli her mom and Dad. __________________ Mama to Ariah 16, Phineas 14, Lucia 9, Ezra 5, And baby twins Rowan and Freya. (Good God that's a lot of kids) Last edited by jillkuster; 11-18-2006 at 10:39 PM.

11-19-2006, 12:59 AM	#24
jillkuster Registered Users Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Iowa Posts: 660 Ratings: 32 Feedback: 100%	Re: what would you do..... I was one Mothering.com a minute ago, and someones siggy said this under it When we have children we either are woken to our past to help us heal, or we are oblivious to the pain and we inflict it on our children.~Jacqueline Wood I sat around all night talking to Eli about this situation and he said "Do you really expect the world to be a lovely place where this kind of thing dosen't happen." I thought about it and said "I guess I expect that when you have a child, your instinct kicks in and you care for your child." When I read her siggy it all clicked for me. Weird how that happens. __________________ Mama to Ariah 16, Phineas 14, Lucia 9, Ezra 5, And baby twins Rowan and Freya. (Good God that's a lot of kids)

11-19-2006, 01:18 AM	#25
daizydoo Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 519 Ratings: 27 Feedback: 100%	Re: what would you do..... That is really a bad situation and I will be praying for her and her parents. My cousin was in a similar situation when she was younger. The mom, my cousins wife was an alcoholic and they were divorced and had shared custody but lived in different states so the mom had them basically the whole year minus a few weeks. Anyways my cousin tried to get full custody claiming the mom unfit with her drinking and all and the courts upheld the custody arrangements even though cps had been called by her neighbors concerning her drinking. Unfortunately it did not work out for the 2 little girls ages 6 and 8. Their mom went out drinking one night and left them home alone and the power went out so they lit candles and the house caught fire and the youngest ended up with severe burns on both arms,upper back and one leg. I was 17 at the time and she came to live with us for awhile and I just remembet the healing process and therapy. It seems at times that the parents get too many chances when it comes to their kids. I didn't write this to upset you, just to say you are right in how you are feeling and to call who ever you need to to bring this to their attention. I don't think you can be too cautious when it comes to children but their is a fine line like pp said about being careful how you word things. Prayers for you also and the family __________________ Debbie SAHM to Zach 14, Maddie 11, Abby 6, Loving wife to Tim

11-19-2006, 01:54 AM	#26
jillkuster Registered Users Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Iowa Posts: 660 Ratings: 32 Feedback: 100%	Re: what would you do..... Thanks for posting that Daisy..... I am feeling really torn about my very intense reaction to this situation. I have no measuring stick to judge with since it's not something I would ever put my own kids through, and I've not had parents who drank. Part of me feels like a judgmental b***. And another part of me is just floored that anyone would do this even when they are hurting. I'm totally having Eli read your post...cause he thinks I get high and mighty in the proper parenting department. Hurmph. It's also good that I have this as an outlet, cause I agree that I need to use caution when talking to the mom. It's been good to vent pre-conversation so I can be clear and calm tomorrow. __________________ Mama to Ariah 16, Phineas 14, Lucia 9, Ezra 5, And baby twins Rowan and Freya. (Good God that's a lot of kids) Last edited by jillkuster; 11-19-2006 at 01:59 AM.*

11-19-2006, 11:08 PM	#28
Sweet_Fantasy_Fox *Administrator* ~Proud mommy of 4~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: ~West Coast~ USA Posts: 59,467 Ratings: 610 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: what would you do..... thats terrible __________________ Sally, wife to D, mama to D, D, N, & A Join Swagbucks~I've earned $410!! ~My sweet Danae is a Cancer Survivor, 6 years!!~ ISO Coke Reward Points~PM me