What we wish you knew about pregnancy loss

[gigismomma]

Thank you for posting this!

[Asher's Momma]

Thank you for sharing.

[filiadeluna]

Thanks for this advice! I always feel like I want so badly to comfort people when they are going through this, and I never know what to say. I usually do only say "I'm sorry, I can't imagine how you must feel, let me know if you need to talk about it anytime."

[NadiaRose]

I am new to diaperswappers. I have to say I am so glad to see this posted. I bawled all the way through reading it. I lost my angel baby on June 4th of this year. The day before I had to attend my SIL's wedding. We had just told everyone we were expecting so it was awful having to return congratulations with news of our loss. I just remember not wanting to be there at all and feeling so numb and shocked yet constantly on the verge of tears. It was the most awful thing I've had to go through. Even worse were the well wishers just finding out I was pregnant and having to tell them the updated, heartbreaking news when they would come up to congratulate me... It was horrible. I think my heart broke every time I had to utter the words. Having had 3 perfect, and textbook pregnancies, a miscarriage was something I thought I would never have to worry about when we started our adventure towards baby #4. It really goes to show, no one is immune. It does somewhat take the joy out of anticipation of a BFP though. I think there is always going to be that apprehensive breath being held through the next bfp till birth now...

I have to say that my hubby is the most awesome. He cried with me as his heart broke too. He takes care of me when all I can do is sit and blubber. When we got back home from the wedding (looooong flight), he had 99% of the reminders put away out of my sight before I even walked in the door. From the pregnancy yoga workout dvd to the accumulation of baby odds and ends... It was so helpful to not have to be confronted with all that the minute I walked through the door. I think the absolute hardest ones to tell were the kids. They still ask me where the baby is and if the baby died and other assorted questions.

[kt~mommy]

Originally Posted by NadiaRose I am new to diaperswappers. I have to say I am so glad to see this posted. I bawled all the way through reading it. I lost my angel baby on June 4th of this year. The day before I had to attend my SIL's wedding. We had just told everyone we were expecting so it was awful having to return congratulations with news of our loss. I just remember not wanting to be there at all and feeling so numb and shocked yet constantly on the verge of tears. It was the most awful thing I've had to go through. Even worse were the well wishers just finding out I was pregnant and having to tell them the updated, heartbreaking news when they would come up to congratulate me... It was horrible. I think my heart broke every time I had to utter the words. Having had 3 perfect, and textbook pregnancies, a miscarriage was something I thought I would never have to worry about when we started our adventure towards baby #4. It really goes to show, no one is immune. It does somewhat take the joy out of anticipation of a BFP though. I think there is always going to be that apprehensive breath being held through the next bfp till birth now... I have to say that my hubby is the most awesome. He cried with me as his heart broke too. He takes care of me when all I can do is sit and blubber. When we got back home from the wedding (looooong flight), he had 99% of the reminders put away out of my sight before I even walked in the door. From the pregnancy yoga workout dvd to the accumulation of baby odds and ends... It was so helpful to not have to be confronted with all that the minute I walked through the door. I think the absolute hardest ones to tell were the kids. They still ask me where the baby is and if the baby died and other assorted questions.

there's nothing to say. just and tears for you

[Ready2Bmommy]

I have not had this experience, but hugs to all the mamas who have. I cannot imagine how it feels. I cried just reading this post.

[mrsgrantis]

Beatifull. I need that right now. Ever time I think OK, maybe I'm over it....It's creeps up on me again.

[m0mof2bratz]

Thank you for posting it. I lost my son when he was 4 months and 2 days old due to a bassinet collasping at a home daycare. The news media ate thiss story up for over 2 weeks. If your loved ones lose a child or anyone just call and check on them on their angel's day and birthday. My parents called and checked on us and then last year the calls stopped and it was upsetting.

[loreleidenise]

There is one thing I don't agree with on the "do" list... the flowers. Maybe I'm just an oddball and spend way more time in the garden than I ever should have, but after my last loss in March, my coworkers came together and purchased a dozen white roses. To me, that just cemented my grief because if you think about it, cut flowers are an end of a promise for that plant... those are seeds that will never become more flowers. I was grieving the loss of a very wanted child and being reminded of one life extinguished by twelve small lives extinguished and set up in a jar to please the eye.

I think it's more of a thoughtful gift to give a live plant or a package of seeds or bulbs to someone who's had a loss... it's more of a gift of hope than cut flowers.

[Samanthavv]

This might make me a horrible person, but after I lost my baby, literally the same day... I was prescribed pain meds, so I went to the store to get them. Anyways, while I was there... I saw maybe 10-15 obviously pregnant women, and two friends walked up to me and announced they were pregnant.

All I could do was cry. I felt so frustrated. i just wanted to scream and punch them all in the face. As horrible as it sounds. I felt like I was being slapped or spit on.