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Old 05-26-2006, 09:12 PM   #11
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Re: What am I doing wrong?

I've cut out all sugar from his diet. The other day he was being so good and I made cinnamon rolls for after supper. He had just a couple bites from his dad's and an hour later it was like the devil reincarnate. But it's not the sugar totally, he didn't have ANY today and today was not so great.

I'm just really glad to see that I am not the only one going through this. I felt like I was the only parent in the world with a kiddo like this. All of my RL friends' kids are SO well behaved. I mean they are so well behaved it's almost frightening, lol.

Thanks for the encouragement mamas.


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Old 05-26-2006, 09:34 PM   #12
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Re: What am I doing wrong?

I would suggest some dietary changes some research and maybe ask your ped...lots of kids do better behavior-wise when you eliminate dairy or gluten, or even any preservatives, best friends boys go NUTS when their blood sugar gets out of whack, they have to have lots of protein and complete carbs to stay even keeled - you never know what might work! I'll be thinking of you!
Stephanie, PT-SAHM/WOHM to Lily Beth (6.5) and Hutch (3)
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Old 05-26-2006, 10:54 PM   #13
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Re: What am I doing wrong?

I would get him in to see his doc. just to make sure there's not a medical reason why he's behaving like that and other than that be firm like you're doing! my dd's almost 2.5 and she has an attitude, we've known that for some time though so we're very strict with her. kinda thing where if you give in once for something you start right at the beginning again. At the store I'd always go with dh shopping and if she acts up she goes into the car with me to scream all she wants while dh finishes the shopping. I buckle her in her car seat turn the music on and ignore her till she's finished. (not that she's an angel and turns it off immeadiately lol, we've sat there for an hour before she would stop and apologize lol.) They eventually do catch on if you're firm, we don't have nearly as many problems as we used to going out anymore. alot of people we know think we're too hard on her, and boy do they like to butt in lol. but at the same time they're not seeing that if we give in and give her what she wants what she's like after that. so stick to your guns it'll get better! And don't worry, teachers are trained to deal with children and have many tricks to getting them to behave. Besides most behave totally different when they're away from their parents lol, I think its just to drive us crazy!!
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Old 05-26-2006, 11:07 PM   #14
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Re: What am I doing wrong?

I can so relate to what you're going through. I've been going through it for 2 years now with my DS I hope it's just the terrible 2's
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Old 05-26-2006, 11:15 PM   #15
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Re: What am I doing wrong?

to you mama! This is not your fault! & you are not alone!

many of the pps had great ideas:
- chart sleep & diet for a while to see if behaviors line up with either
- plan a visit or 2 with your family doctor (maybe makes some notes ahead & see if you can make two apts, one with your son along & one just you, so you can really talk to the doctor...
- books with different suggestions to try...

Sounds like you are doing a great job being consistant!! Keep up the good work, don't be hard on yourself & make sure you get some fun breaks & time away (if you can)! More to you!
Jennifer, mommy to zander, 5/30/04 & maddie, 7/8/07 & lizzie 10/01/09
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Old 05-29-2006, 08:20 PM   #16
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Re: What am I doing wrong?

my 2 cents:

read Connection Parenting! It changed my whole viewpoint on tantrums and whiny kids.

check into sleep & diet big time

try some homeopathy for the major tantrums

try some Rescue Remedy for you so you remain calm when he is testing you

get some time for yourself everyday
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Last edited by Kindermama; 05-29-2006 at 08:21 PM.
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Old 05-29-2006, 09:03 PM   #17
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Re: What am I doing wrong?

Hi! I hope things start going better soon for you...

I just want to add my 2 cents. First, I want to second the book:

"How to Behave So Your Children Will Too." Thats a great book and REALLY helps me to get over the rough spots with my daughter. Lots of good practical advice and PLANS to get things working for you and your son.

Remember that your son is probably even more frustrated as you are and for some reason he cannot find his voice. Somehow you have to help him find it.

I don't allow my kids any sugar or any caffeine. I think that stuff causes major problems for people...

I have a friend who has a kid who spanks her kid (not saying that you do and I am not even saying anything bad about parents who do use spanking), just for the example "do as I do." Anyway, her kid (3.5 years) sounds EXACTLy like yours, and she is constantly putting him in time out and spanking him. He has trouble dealing with his anger--he absolutely does not know how to deal with his angry feelings. He lashes out horribly, and in my opinion he is only getting ideas from her about how to use physical aggression as a tool. She never ignores his bad behavior--she always comes down on him. Too much negative attention is still attention, I guess some kids just thrive on either kind of attention. I don't think she praises him enough when he is doing what he should be doing. I think you have to praise 10x the amount for doing the simplest of things (playing quietly by himself for example) than you do for coming down hard on the negative. When my daughter was going through a tantrum phase I totally ignored the tantrums, which took away thier power. She learned after about 5 really hellacious tantrums that she wasn't getting anywhere that way. Now she goes to timeout herself--she uses it as a tool for relaxing rather than it being a punishment.

If my DD doesn't get enough sleep, she is a total cranky butt whiner and throws tantrums. When she doesn't get like 10 hrs at night and have one nap a day, she is not someone you want to be around. If your son is not napping during the day, he needs to sleep. I think lack of sleep is the number one problem with kids having tantrums. If she doesn't get sleep and is a cranky butt I totally view it as my fault for not giving her the opportunity to get her sleep. I insist then that she go to her room. If she tantrums herself in there, thats fine, she doesn't leave the room til she's slept and wakes up.

Also, dairy allergies seem to really be an issue with behavioral problems. If I were you I'd cut out dairy and make sure he is getting calcium other ways.

See your pedi about diagnosable problems.

Good luck!
Mama to Amelie(6), Noah (2) & Eden River (2mo)

Last edited by falcon2; 05-29-2006 at 09:08 PM.
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Old 05-29-2006, 10:20 PM   #18
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Re: What am I doing wrong?

I would like to second the idea that you should see your doc, and suspect allergies. I had a friend at work whose DS was just like yours, turns out it was red dye and a few other culprits. GL to you mama!

Also, there are two books that I recommend:

"The Explosive Child" & "How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen"

joline, cd'ing, bf'ing, slingin mama to Gilbert (10/04) & Eleanor (1/07)
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Old 05-29-2006, 10:56 PM   #19
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Re: What am I doing wrong?

Is 2.5 too young to ask him why he acted up earlier and about how he felt. I think you should start a journal(didn't read everything so probably already suggested) on him. Write down everything-sleeping times,feeding times, what he ate, tantrums(scale 1 to 10), tantrums where took place, etc. If he can tell you why he acted up earler (probably to young for that though) and his feelings then you could write that in there also.
Before going to pediatrician you could read through and know exactly what questions you have for the dr. and what you want to point out to the dr. from the journal.
On one episode of nanny 911 there was a little boy who had tantrums and they used a breathing technique with him. Showed him how to calm down/breathe when he was calm and then put it into action during the next tantrum. I believe the mother got down to his level, held his hands/wrists so he couldn't hit her, and said "breathe in through your nose. Now breathe out your mouth." over and over until he calmed down and could talk to her. The mom did the breathing exercise along with the little boy and later commented on how it actually made her calm down in the heat of the moment as well.
I hope tommarow is a better day for you. We all have our bad days with our dear children. ONe moment your in the heat of things trying to figure out why you had kids and then the next moment your laughing at something they did and thinking about how amazing they are and how much you love them.
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